("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._ `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`) (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,' (((' (((-((('' (((( K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N _________________________________________ WARNING! This text file contains sexually explicit material. If you do not wish to read this type of literature, or you are under age, PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!! _________________________________________ Scroll down to view text -------------------------------------------------------- This work is copyrighted to the author © 2009. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. All rights reserved. Thank you for your consideration. -------------------------------------------------------- Weird World of Sex by John Enwright 1993 (address withheld) *** Weird stuff that happens around the world. (sexual content) *** Consider the couple in New York who were hurt while making love. And you thought that sex is a non-violence activity. Be reassured that it is. Unfortunately, if you take your mattress and put it on the subway tracks, you're bound to be injured sooner or later. Another couple resolved their differences the hard way in Montevideo, Uruguay when the irate husband killed his ex-wife after declaring he wanted to resume his married life with the unfortunate woman. Unsure of the concept? Well then, how about the love-sick pilot who buzzed his long lost love's house in Edmonton, Canada. After hassling the neighbors and his ex for a few hours, he eventually ran out of fuel and crashed into the woman's living room. Latin America is the one region in the world that must hold the records for the youngest mothers. The youngest was thought to be a 10 year old in Brazil. Now it appears that a Colombian mother of eight gave birth in 1988. Take in consideration the woman pro golfer who hit her tee shot, which then struck a tree, rebounded and ended up in her bra. Elaine Johnson, our erstwhile pro duffer, comments, "I'll take a two stroke penalty, but I'll be damned if I'll play it where it lies." After hearing the former bodyguard of Mike Tyson, Rudy Gonzalez, you wonder why ole' Mike got convicted of rape. Seems Tyson was having sexual encounters with ten to fifteen women a day. "There was a lot of kinkiness," said Gonzalez, "I'd have to go out and buy cucumbers." Gonzalez also said that he had to be present during the festivities so that Mike wouldn't get his throat cut or something similar. "Yes, many of the women did have problems with that...but it was non-negotiable, house rules." Other people play rough too. Consider Mexican Primitivo Espada, who was separated from his wife for 5 years. Mr. Espada decided that the time in the bed with her had been terrible. One day, he returned and strangled his wife. Just to even things out, there's the case of the Latin American woman who cut off her man's penis because of alleged infidelity. Maria Otilia Zuniga Molina of Cuenca, Ecuador decided enough was enough. After drugging her mate, she surgically removed the offending member. Ms. Zuniga eventually became a nun. Those sex researchers have come up with another astounding fact. While studying the sexuality of women subjects, they found that a good percentage have had orgasms when their big left toe was sucked. On a small minority, this only worked on their right toe. Sex researchers, Masters and Johnson in their book, "Homosexuality in Perspective," assert that homosexuals make better love than heterosexuals. They base this conclusion on a study of 681 heteros and 167 gays done between 1968 and 1977. Those who know at Johns Hopkins University have found that nitric oxide is what makes men have erections. Don't rush out to the dentist, they are two different chemicals. "...Charles hasn't made love to me in five years. Andy and Fergie are crazy about each other" and "can't keep their hands off each other. No wonder she's smiling..." said Princess Di of England. These are just some of the quotes from what's published in the London tabloids. And we thought they were happy just being rich. Continuing on with the Charles-Diana Saga, the Daily Mirror of London says Charles told his married lover, "In my next reincarnation, I'd like to live as your trousers." Not many of us knew the Prince believed in reincarnation to inanimate objects. Speaking of royalty-Infamous Ivan the Terrible once had 1,500 virgins presented to him for marriage. Anastasia Zarina Yureva was chosen to be his wife, and gave birth to the old family of the Romanovs that died during the Russian Revolution. The monk Rasputin, who controlled the ill fated Romanovs, was known for his hypnotic power of persuasion. Additionally, sex orgies were a regular part of his regimen. His penis was also said to have been enormous and when his killers eventually prevailed, they cut it off. Sort of a keepsake...or wishful thinking? Not only did King Tut lose his fabulous jewels after he was excavated, he lost his family jewels. American Egyptologist, Dennis Forbes, said "We think someone snapped off the penis before Tutankhamen was reinterred the first time in 1926." Still hard after all these years... Apparently a souvenir hunter has also taken advantage of the "Iceman," the Neolithic man found in the Alps recently. After studying the corpse, scientists discovered that his penis and testicles are missing! Speculation is that it was snapped off while the body was still frozen. Somewhere maybe a collector has the aforementioned penises and Napoleon's too. Nothing's sacred anymore. Seems that historian James Thomas Flexner now says that Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson's Vice President and founder of the US Treasury, was bisexual. The evidence points to his partners as being Colonel John Lawrence and Marquis de Lafayette. In the resort town of Playas, Ecuador six homosexuals were arrested for illegal activities. Apparently, they were detained when it was discovered they were having a beauty pageant to elect the "queen of the town." Then there's the case of April Ashley of England who once was a man and decided to get married. However, a court found that since she had the chromosomes of a man and was born a man, the marriage was null and void. Another man who now goes by the name of Sarah Luiz and worked at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Massachusetts had her sex change in 1986. Ms. Luiz is now an ardent feminist. Most men prefer keeping their penises and according to one study by Doctor Jacobus, the race with the biggest penises overall are the Arabs with 8 to 10 inches. But the Sudanese have some of the larger individual specimens with 12 inches. Dr. Jacobus concludes that the bigger ones are the Sudanese. Nothing like scientific logic. In France and Italy recently, there was the scandal involving the Nigerian Princess who reportedly had over 4,000 women prostitutes under her control. All were young girls from Nigeria, Senegal, Togo and Liberia. Apparently the latest way to smuggle drugs is to mold or even put them under the skin according to reports from the South American press. One woman was caught when police noticed something about her - those buttocks were "too perfect." One woman attracted the attention of customs in Bogota because her thighs were so large. In another case, an operation was required remove the drugs from underneath one woman's skin. Jutta Kottlorz of Germany confessed to having slept with 1200 men in 1988. It makes one wonder how many she has had up till now... By the way, seems Jutta kept a diary of her day to day sex encounters. Vanna White's of TV's "Wheel of Fortune" life as a celebrity has its pitfalls. Her career survived when her nude pix were published some years back but recently a fan burst in on her in a changing room at a plush Beverly Hills clothes store. Clad only in panties and bra, Ms. White watched in "horror" as the fan asked for her autograph. The police eventually hauled the man away. Another time, while Ms. White signed autographs in Orlando, Florida, a man made his way to the front of the line and exposed himself. What some won't do for an autograph. One of the contenders for "Father of the Decade" has to be Kip Wendler, better known as "Doctor Papa." Believed the father of at least 300 children, he doesn't know any of them nor their mothers. Doctor Papa is a regular donor at the sperm bank. At the University Language Center in Australia, there is a new course in swearing. No, it's not for the natives, they do well enough. Yes, the course is for immigrants who have problems understanding of such phrases as "playing silly buggers" (actually said by ex-Prime Minister Bob Hawke to a Japanese group.) The famous sex clubs in Thailand are hurting due to the AIDS crisis. Most sex of choice is now just blowjobs. One such place is called the Kangaroo Club where the Australians go. As might be expected, the favorite activity is drinking beer and the blowjob, which the Aussies refer to as a "slimmer's lunch." For those who like to watch sex, Thailand also offers many shows. On any given day, you might see ordinary fuck and lesbian acts or for the more adventurous- women pulling razor blades, shooting balloons with a dart gun, smoking cigarettes and blowing smoke rings, inserting snakes and fish, all done with their vaginas. Contrast Thailand with Saudi Arabia. There, men and women are separated constantly whether in restaurants, the beaches or even at home. No sex shows, no prostitution, in fact wearing a bikini at the segregated beaches might get you a date with a few stones tossed by the natives. Apparently not only the women of Thailand are so sex conscious. A Thai monk recently assured he could help an unemployed man rid himself of his bad luck. After chanting prayers, the man was given a blowjob, for which he gave $10 to the monk. Afterwards, the man realized he had been abused and sought out the police. For those condom and earring lovers, Safe Ears were recently released by an American company. Packaged as gold coins with ear clip-ons ("two to clip on, one to slip on"), they are the ultimate safe sex accessory! Chilean television viewers who expected to see a soccer match, instead got Ciccolina (Italian porno star and ex-legislator) having sex with many of her friends. The station owners commented, "It was a genuine terrorist attack." IRNA, the Iranian news agency, says that a Teheran University professor was fired for advocating "cheap Western values." Apparently, the academic has been espousing "pre-marital sex relations between female and male students and cohabitation." The ancient world also had some strange rules. If a male Spartan was not married by thirty, two punishments were carried out. First, he could no longer vote... and... Watch athletic events that feature young men and women participating in the nude. Those judges apparently are crazy in Sri Lanka too. According to reports, a magistrate in Panadura ordered a 35 year old rapist to marry his 15 year old victim. The mother of the unfortunate girl had "no objection" and the report goes on to say that the couple left the courtroom "happily with a smile." The World Health Organization apparently has little to do (consider AIDS and other diseases) but to conduct surveys. One interesting fact uncovered in one lengthy report estimates that in any one given day, 100 million people are having sex, leading to 1 million pregnancies and 150,000 abortions. Those communist nations may have missed the sexual revolution but at least they were allowed to bathe nude at the beach. In the former communist eastern part of Germany, this has changed. All along the Baltic coasts signs banning nudity and fences surrounding nudists are being built. This is being done to mollify visitors, mostly "West Germans." Besides determining that Galileo was right about the sun being the center of the solar system, the Pope has new news about heaven. Apparently, there is no sex there because "they (the residents) are like the angels." When the wife's away, the husband plays or so it would seem. After believing that his wife was visiting friends in Germany, the erstwhile philanderer decided to visit a brothel in Germany. Imagine his surprise and shock when lo and behold his wife was offering her services at the very same whore house! The winds of change are coming slowly to China. In an effort to bring in the modern age, calendars will be allowed to feature women in bikinis. A couple was arrested in Pikeville, Kentucky for making love. If that seems unfair, Rhonda McCowan and Walter Warner were fined $385 because they did it on the roof of the Pinson Hotel. All this could have been prevented if they had paid the $18.53 room charge. One housing agency in London who had been denied a government grant once when they advertised for jobs is at it again. What got the British bureaucrats so upset was that they advertised for "a black woman and a lesbian" for the post of housing manager. The latest request of Homeless Action is for an "Asian lesbian housing manager." If you are unmarried and living with a member of the opposite sex in Pakistan, severe punishments may be meted out. Village elders in Barra ordered one couple shot for their "crime." The man's father was commanded to execute the couple. The new Universal Catechism of the Catholic Church lists a multitude of sins that can condemn the sinner to hell. Although there is a pardon for a "just killing," there is none for a just fornication. By the way, sexual wrong is defined in 10 pages. Before, only seven lines were used. The Catholic Church must have forgotten something... Now we know why China is the most populist nation. Even as poor as they are, there exist "unisex barber shops" where not only can the modern worker get their haircut but their pubic hair and other beauty treatments. The most popular pubic design is the butterfly or heart. For an extra fee, most will color hair "to suit the personality." Every so often true life seems even more strange than the tabloids could possibly make up. Mary and Jack are one such case. The South African men have been "married" since May 28, 1960. That's not too unusual today - but consider that they are also brothers... Musician Lenny Kravitz, ex-husband of Lisa Bonet of the Cosby Show, has moved to the Bahamas. He's building a recording studio. After all those years in the fast lane, he had this to say, "Maybe I just don't care about sex. It's great, but I believe music's better." Richard Gere who's married to model Cindy Crawford also has some interesting comments. "My wife doesn't understand why I'm such a sex symbol...You see, it's just the movies." Self named British "erotographer" Ernie King, editor of Eurosex, has a class for teaching about pornography. For about $2,000, Mr. King will fly you to his villa in Spain and there you can learn all about the ins and outs of porn. His mag offers mostly straight erotica. He comments, "I am prepared to instruct only people seriously interested in learning the alchemy of erotography." Another Englishman claims he can improve your sex life by hypnotizing terrible lovers. "Even if you are not very good...you'll provide the same sensation as a combination of Tom Cruise and Casanova." However, some disagree. The British Council for Professional Stage Hypnotists says that Peter Powers is a fraud. "Once the hypnotism wears off the effects do too." Comedian Jackie Mason denies reports he tried to have "elevator sex" with a young woman. After wooing the 29 year old woman at dinner, he allegedly invited the woman to his apartment to meet Mikhail Gorbachev. Debbie Goodman thought after he made the advances, "He wouldn't hurt me...he's a rabbi!" Mason commented, "I didn't even tell a dirty joke. Do you think that I'm that desperate? God bless her but she's a pathetic looking yenta. I've got gorgeous girls hitting on me...every day!" The latest rumors circulating is the Donald (Trump) wants to have topless dancers in his Plaza Hotel. Jackie Mason comments "I've been dying to do topless for years." Maybe Mason could do his act in the elevator. George Bush's family values are a recent thing. Seems that the ex-Prez was the roommate of a mother/daughter prostitution ring when he was a college student. He got an earful every night because the air conditioner "wasn't noisy enough to drown out the `socializing' on the other side of the partition." Prozac, the controversial drug used to treat depression, is now being touted as a cure for premature ejaculation. Dr. Roger Crenshaw believes that since the drug increases the amount of serotonin (a natural chemical) which stops "overstimulation" most men can be cured. For $45 a month, the patient can improve his sex life in a matter of weeks. Dillon Talbot, a computer salesman, is serving a year in jail for indecent exposure and lewd behavior. When Talbot found about a bachelorette party, he passed himself off as a stripper sent by an anonymous friend. Most of the time he would be "lathered" with oil by the coeds. He was caught when one unbelieving student took his picture at a party. Religion is taking a new turn at one prison. Jesse Loden who belongs to the "Technicians of the Sacred," a religious order founded in 1983, seeks to worship in the nude at the prison church. He's suing the Illinois Department of Corrections. For one 50 year old man, James Buff, his foot fetishism has landed him with a criminal trespass violation. Seems he had broken into 76 year old Velda Poer's home and had planned to "tickle her feet." Ms. Poer let out a blood curdling scream and Mr. Buff left but the police caught him shortly thereafter. State laws have some strange twists. Did you know adultery is a crime in California? ($1,000 fine and/or a year in jail) In Oklahoma, it's illegal to masturbate while watching other couples make love at a drive-in movie! (Offenders are charged with "molesting a vehicle") Having sex in a moving vehicle is punishable in Tennessee! ($50 or thirty days in jail) Having sex in a stationary car is illegal in New Mexico... unless you have curtains. "Virtual reality," the latest computer craze, may be banned in several states. No, not for business use but for those who use the imagining for "dates" with too realistic computer generated women. In this day and age, safe sex is paramount and swingers are reinventing the orgy to reflect this. Now jacking off parties are the latest rage all across America among many swingers. Some of the latest screwiness to hit the political theater is the bill known as the Pornography Victims Compensation Act (S. 1521.) According to industry sources, this bill would absolve criminals of their crimes if they claim that "pornography made me do it." Instead the blame would be placed on the publishers of said material. Unanswered questions arise; such as which publication is responsible and why aren't weapon or chain saw manufacturers held liable when their product is used in the commission of a murder or assault. Besides, it has never been proved that porno contributes to any criminal activity mentioned above. It should be noted that in countries such as Iran or Saudi Arabia, pornography is banned and yet crimes against women are greater than other countries where freedom of speech is guaranteed. In New York, the local papers have been featuring ads for plastic surgery. The twist is that the doctors are touting surgery for men who suffer gynecomastia. This affects an estimated 38 percent of men. What is it? Men with female-sized breasts. According to the doctor, "The surgery means the difference between existing and living life to the fullest." Those European condom makers have had some problems. The financially strapped Russian government cannot afford to import latex. In Spain, Italy and Portugal, 50 percent of the condoms sold fail strength tests and in Italy 33 percent have holes. Two sex surveys published by the National Enquirer and the Weekly World News have some startling but perhaps understandable results. In the Weekly World News, a little over half of the men surveyed state that they would rather kiss than have sex. In the Enquirer, 83 percent of the married women would rather shop than make love. As one new wife said, "...I'm rich in the lovemaking department but poor otherwise. I'll take the money." Actress Connie Stevens, the landlord of many buildings in Los Angeles, found out recently that one of her tenants was a call-girl ring. She was informed of this by the LAPD after busting and evicting the group. According to reports of the Associated Press, those Aussies are giving new meaning to "Down Under." A new show was recently taken off the air in mid-show by irate callers. "Australia's Naughtiest Home Video Special" featured a couple making love from afar, animals doing the same and near naked women. The day was saved when it was replaced midstream by an episode of "Cheers." Tennis pro Steffi Graf has a lot on her mind these days besides beating her opponents. Ms. Graf is threatening to sue the punk rockers, School Kids Scraped by a Bus, over their song entitled "I Want to Fuck Steffi Graf." Quotes" Actress Shelly Winters says "I think nudity on the stage is disgusting, shameful and unpatriotic. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive, religious experience." James Dean who was rumored to be bisexual is quoted in the book, "James Dean: Little Boy Lost" as saying "If my mother hadn't died when she did, I would have been queer." Has anything really changed? State of Alabama teachers are forbidden to teach anything about sexual diseases in the classroom. The rate of AIDS in Alabama has increased 58% in the last year. According to one British study released in 1992, bulimia nervosa women are attracted to - get this - overweight men. Seems like these women who gorge themselves and then throw up, find and fall in love with men who eat too much and manage to hold it down, irresistible. The adage floating around the Washington D.C. crowd is that it's okay for politicians to do anything they want sexually. However, most agree that what is politically damaging is to be caught in bed with a "dead woman or a live boy." One politician in Richmond, California apparently isn't about to give up her other job. Councilwoman Donna Powers who moonlights as the 8 inch nude mermaid at Bimbo's 365 Club in San Francisco, says "I'm a pink little thing. The bowl is very forgiving. I guarantee you any woman would look like a knockout in that fish bowl." Men's Health magazine apparently is taking itself a little too seriously. A study recently completed says that men scored 71% of the time when they used the pickup line "Hi." Believe it or not, 100% of the women scored when they used the same line... Parade magazine says one of the worst trends is Madonna. Lisa Birnbach, who compiled the list says, "We've seen her almost nude, semi-nude, quasi-nude and nude. She seems to have a need to be nude. What's next? Her X-ray?" Well, we haven't seen her spread shot! Remember when it was exciting enough just to get married? These days, it's not the sex that counts but how you get hitched. Witness the bungee jumpers, marriage in the nude and other such stunts. One couple, Gina and Stuart Scott, got married at the 7 Eleven where they first saw each other. "...I wanted to marry my wife where I met her," said the groom. "She laughed about it at first. But after she thought about it, she thought it was romantic." According to one report circulating in the world press is that the reason Christine Jorgensen, the first publicized transsexual, died was because of stress. When she had the operation in the fifties, she became an instant celebrity and over the years, this took its toll said her doctor, Lancford Gohng. Another report circulating in the Latin American press says that one hundred dollars will get a new hymen for the sexually experienced female. One source indicated that "thousands of North American girls travel to Mexico" to restore the trust desired by their fiancé. In 1951, two brothers from New Zealand were separated at birth and were later adopted separately. All those years, the brothers searched for each other. Finally in 1992, they found each other. Imagine the surprise when the one living in England had a sex change operation and is now the mother of three. With the latest rage being non-alcoholic drink, someone had to come up with a way combining it with sex. Well, our prayers were answered by the Lollipops juice bar in Eugene, Oregon. There you can not only drink to your health, you can ogle bare breasted bartenders as well. And you thought the reason that the star of the sitcom, Roseanne, lost weight was for her health. Think again. Says Ms. Arnold "I was a big fat pig... I weighed 300 pounds...and we were unable to have sex." Mel Gibson was quoted as saying this about his famous nude scenes, "If I've still got my pants on in the second scene, I think they sent me the wrong script." Apparently a new definition of "romance" is taking place at the local Blockbuster Video store. "Mandingo," described by one movie reviewer as "an infamously vile and brutal tale of Old South masters and slaves," features the story of a black slave forced by his master's wife to make love and then boiled alive for his indiscretion. In this technology first world, it had to happen. The Safe Sex Sofa made its debut at a fair called "The Wild West Week at the Pacific Design Center." Seems that when an amorous couple sits down, recorded messages touting safe sex are played. The promotional literature says "Not since the French has the classic design for the boudoir of the 90's been so inviting." Speaking of safe sex, condoms were being used as the centerpiece at Harvard Divinity School in an art exhibit. Karen Norberg, the artist, has incorporated condoms in innovative ways. According to an Associated Press story, the artist covered them with "beads, fur, yarn, leather, feathers and bracelet charms." In addition, others featured "condoms filled with honey, alphabet soup, a baby sneaker, tiny models of the earth and sunflower seeds." The most telling was one called "Carmen Miranda." Ms. Norberg comments "This is serious art." Frivolous suits seems to be the order of the day. One prisoner in the Illinois' Pontiac Correction Center is suing for the right to "wear a bra, panties and mascara" according to the Chicago Tribune. Anthony Jones, who prefers Tonya Star Jones, says "I have every right in the world to wear a dress." Billboard signs along the highway are a great American tradition. Burma Shave and all that. These jewels were spotted recently. In Kalispel, Montana appeared; "Every Hour One Montanan Gets Gonorrhea," and in Corpus Christi, Texas, "Surprise Her with Crabs." This one was in Reader's Digest. A mother and daughter were at an art show. The artist was a family friend and one painting of a nude woman looked awfully familiar. "I trust you haven't taken to posing in the nude," said the woman. The daughter answered, "Oh, no. He painted that from memory." One side note to our involvement in the Moslem country Somalia is the practice of circumcision. No, not of men but of women. Seems like the culture we're trying to save has as one of its traditions the removal of clitorises and the sewing up of women's vaginal openings. Maybe this is why all the right wingers are in favor of going there in the first place. Bondage is not thought of as very popular in our society. But consider this. In 1989, one study states that over 40 percent of the patients in senior citizen complexes were put into "physical restraints" at some point during the year. For some, sexual arousal takes many forms. In New York City (where else?) there is a club called "Hot Ash." The all male club derives their sexual satisfaction from smoking cigars and other acts involving them. Some forms of play include blowing smoke at others, rubbing their partners' faces in ashtrays and using a cigar as a dildo and then replacing it with a penis. One would assume this is done, after dinner! Our psychic friends have predicted at least two major stories for 1993. According to the annual prognostications in the National Enquirer, Peter Meers believes that Dolly Parton's left breast will "explode during a nationally televised special." Among his many other predictions, Madonna will announce that she is really the "love child" of... OF... Jim Nabors! This has little to do with sex (or does it?) but in 1991, 30,000 Americans were injured, by jewelry! Even in Chesapeake, Virginia strange things can happen. Seems like in the store called North Landing Grocery, known for its great barbecue sandwiches, patrons were enjoying a cup of coffee when they looked down the road and spotted a man coming their way. "The man walked in here and told everybody... that the Lord told him to take his clothes off," said the store clerk, Richard Cuffee. The policeman who arrived at the scene convinced the man the Lord had confided in the cop to put them back on. Herve Villechaize, onetime star of the TV show "Fantasy Island" recently said that he once poured chocolate pudding all over his naked body. The diminutive 3 foot 11 inch actor says it was all fun and games in the shower with his 5 foot 9 inch girlfriend, Kathy Self. Says Ms. Self, "If you haven't had a chocolate covered dwarf in your shower you haven't lived." Another TV star, Roseanne Arnold, decided to turn on husband Tom with some sexy lingerie but he apparently wasn't very interested. TV had his attention. When Rosie cried over his neglect, he realized his mistake. To make amends, Mr. Arnold donned one of her outfits, the cute French maid outfit complete with crotchless panties and fishnet hose and all was forgiven and forgotten. On Craig Charles' British talk show, Brigette Nelson decided to let the host sample her bosom. Charles says "I almost suffocated. But something about her breasts didn't feel right. One was harder than the other, and I told her so right there on the set." Brigette had enough and stormed off the stage. A man who committed suicide had problems that apparently didn't end with his death. Seems his lover and his surviving children are fighting over his frozen sperm. William Kane's girlfriend, Deborah Hecht and his family cannot agree that she should have his baby post mortem and the case may eventually be solved in the Supreme Court. This ad was recently discovered in a tabloid. "Single white mom of one, 25, pregnant (due 3/93) looking for nonsmoking marriage-minded man. Photo/phone. Serious only!" Hair or lack of it has always been a form of sex appeal. However, some take it to extremes. One man, who was so obsessed with hair that he reportedly had orgasms just touching it, was arrested in the 1800's in Chicago. His crime? He cut off the hair of an estimated 50 women! According to Daniel Mannix, author of the book "Freaks," there was one man who had an "additional" problem. Frank Lentini, one third of Siamese triplets, had two sets of genitals and a third leg too (no, a real leg.) Reportedly, Mr. Lentini joined the circus, made a good sized sum of money from exposing himself and also fathered four children. It's not known if both sets of organs worked. Pyromania, the urge to set things on fire, in modern times has always been thought of as a sexual disorder. A recent case in Florida proves the point. Patrick Lee Frank was tried and acquitted by reason of insanity after setting fire to 17 churches. The man confessed to William McFarland of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, saying churches "were causing him to have homosexual urges he didn't want" and also "gave him strong urges to steal cars and slash tires." Madonna seems to be everywhere in the print medium. One woman's magazine touts a story on how to save your kids from the "material girl" while another says that Madonna's dress designer will do the new president's wife's, Hillary Clinton, inaugural gown. Watch out America, sex is gonna due you in! By the way, hierophilia describes Madonna's obsession with sacred objects. This term applies to those who get sexual satisfaction from masturbating with sacred objects such as crosses and attending church services. Those turned on by the preacher and other public speakers suffer from homilophilia. Aren't you glad we got all that straight? The latest scam in Thailand involves robbery. It seems that transvestites after getting their clients to the hotel rooms are robbing them. That's not unusual but the way is. The transvestites get the unsuspecting Johns to suck on their nipples which are coated with tranquilizers and the men fall asleep, making them easier to rob. Another robbery note. It seems that there is a scientific term, harpaxophilia, for those who get sexually aroused from being robbed! We know, they go to Thailand! With more research, Weird World also found out there is another scientific name for those who become sexually excited by traveling! Hodophilia is the proper name and it's said that the "anxiety, pleasure, autonomy, and additional hours of entertainment" may cause people to break out of their normal routine. Continuing with the traveling theme, there is also a scientific name for those who like to make love on trains. These people are known as Siderodromos. This is described as follows; "Couples sometimes reserve a cabin and will have sex standing in front of the window as the train passes through a town or a station." Talk shows in America are obsessed with certain subjects. Donahue, Oprah and Geraldo all have at one time or another have had strippers on their shows. Males, females... dwarfs - you name it. What's next you ask? Recently on the Montel Williams Show, they had... "Christian Strippers," those who do it for God! We at Weird World thought they always did stripping for money. The orient is the Mecca for and is known throughout the world for its sex shows. Our correspondent tells of being stationed at Clark Air Force Base in the Philippines. One of the most famous clubs was the Thunder Dome. Here, two naked women would fight and try to drown each other in a pool of water. Other clubs featured acts like shooting ping pong balls out of their vaginas. Probably the most interesting ones were performers who were able to pick up stacks of coins with their vaginas and deposit them one by one on the floor. Another says that Bangkok tops the Philippines. Among the "acts" there are such famous ones like squatting over a bottle and holding it, blowing smoke rings from their vaginas, ejecting razor blades (wanna go to bed with her?) and depositing boiled eggs in champagne glasses. Best of all are the women who can bust balloons with darts propelled out of their vaginas. Game, set, match! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of the hands of children. They should be outside playing in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Kristen's collection - Directory 63