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                 K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
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Incident At Seagrove Caravan Park
by Slim n' Dusty (slimndusty@yahoo.co.uk)

***

Unless you know what you're in for, moving to a new 
locale may not be a good idea. (MF, voy, nec)

***

It was Mick who suggested that I moved to Seagrove 
Caravan Park...

Mick was in his late thirties and had been living there 
for 10 years. He told me that the city had been too 
expensive for him and, like me, he had a healthy 
dislike for the workplace. Any work-place. So I packed 
my single sports-bag and caught the city rail to 
Linkholm, a station in the outer western suburbs where 
Mick said he'd pick me up in his combi.

'She charges reasonable rates', he told me as we left 
the station in a cloud of blue exhaust.

'Reasonable rates is all I can afford right now'. I 
noticed in the rearview mirror that the traffic could 
not be seen. 

'Your engine's burning oil!'

Mick glanced into his side mirror and shrugged, 'I only 
make short trips with her now.'

The traffic, the houses, and businesses; the city life 
began to thin with help from the sputtering engine as 
the combi hugged the left lane of the Pacific Highway. 
After forty minutes, Mick turned off and followed a 
small coastal road until he made a final turn onto a 
small, dirt track. 'I've already told her you're moving 
in, mate, so don't worry about anything.'

'What did she say?'

'Nothing. She just checks the list of available vans, 
gives a price she thinks a bastard like you can afford, 
quotes a deposit'.

Mick drove the combi van through the entrance to the 
caravan park and stalled it neatly alongside the 
largest mobile, which appeared to function as the 
reception. 

'Wait here!' Mick threw upon the door of his van and 
shuffled over to the mobile. He returned a short while.

'Here!' He threw me the keys and restarted the engine, 
before crunching into reverse. 'I'll take you down to 
yours. Vera said that once you've settled in she'll 
come down and introduce herself. She's busy at the 
moment.'

The combi slowly turned away from the reception 
building and sputtered its way towards one of the more 
dilapidated areas of the caravan park. I looked at the 
well-tended, semi-permanent dwellings nearest the 
reception.

'Who lives in those?'

Mick grinned, 'retired bachelors.'

'Widowers?' I asked, trying to catch a half-hearted 
glimpse of the residents.

'No', Mick grinned, 'just lots and lots of single old 
men'.

'M-i-i-i-i-i-c-k?'

'What?'

'What is this place?'

He gave me a quick glance, 'It's not what you think, 
dude, honest!'

'This had better not be a set-down joint for down-and-
out faggots or I'll fucking kill you!!'

'It's not what you think, man. In this place, people 
leave you alone, they just let you get on with your own 
business.'

I glanced at him.

'It's true!' he said. 'If this were Faggot Central, I'd 
have cleared out years ago. It's not like that! It's 
just that Vera likes to run things her way. She admits 
blokes as residents.'

I looked at Mick waiting for a stupid grin as he pulled 
up next to a van with paint peeling off the side and 
moss on the roof. The frustration began to sink in. 
'How can you fucking stand it? Don't you ever go crazy 
not seeing any chicks! At least in the city there's 
chicks to fucking look at!'

'Dude, I have been here for fucking years and have 
hardly seen anybody. People just leave you alone. 
There's a club just down the road I can take you to, 
cheap beer, and on Friday nights it's full of surfee 
chicks. Real hot wimmen! So THAT is NOT an ISSUE, ok!'

Mick stepped out of the idling combi and unlocked the 
van while I grabbed my sports-bag. 'Here's your keys! 
Come over for a cuppa when you're settled in. I've got 
lots to talk about.'

Before I could ask him what he wanted to discuss, the 
combi had already driven away slowly down the narrow 
road. 

I unzipped my sports-bag and threw my clothes over the 
bunk. I placed my notebook and pen neatly on the small, 
narrow table. A gentle breeze made a welcome entrance 
into the enclosed, damp, musty van...

*

Mick sat a cup of coffee for me down on his plastic 
table as I arrived at his van. He noticed a distance in 
my eyes. 

'So, you've met Vera then?' he smiled.

At first, I didn't say anything. I gripped the coffee 
mug that he'd set down for me and recalled the more 
vivid details of her appearance - very youthful, skin 
so smooth and as white as milk; short-cropped, rust-
coloured hair; mousey eyes...'she's beautiful! Reminds 
me of a girlfriend I once had, a woman who gave head 
really well.'

Mick nodded. 'I asked you up to this place for a 
reason.'

'What reason?'

'I know you like to do a little research before you 
write those disgusting bloody stories and there's 
something about Vera you should know.'

'Since when do you read my stories?'

'I've read a couple of 'em, and after knowing what 
they're like I knew I had to get you up to this place.'

'Where have my stories appeared?'

Mick ignored my question and swallowed some coffee. 
'I've been here for years now and I've never seen Vera 
around a living soul, male or female.'

'Maybe she's a recluse.'

Mick's eyes shone. He spoke softly. 'Nah mate, Vera 
used to work in a hospital in Victoria...'

'And?'

'And... she very quietly got dismissed after working 
there for close to ten years.'

'What was the reason?'

'Well, her service record was close to impeccable. She 
did all the late night shifts, you know, the ones that 
nobody else can stand...'

'Yes? And?'

'...and then a hospital attendant thought he caught her 
doing something that she wasn't supposed to be 
doing...'

'Thought?'

'Yes, thought. They kept her on at first, and it was 
hushed up, but she was given a dire warning not to do 
anything like that again...' Mick peered out of his 
front van window before he continued '...things went 
quiet again for a while... a long while... which lasted 
another few years I think... before they caught her out 
again... but this was more serious.'

'What was she caught doing?'

'She was caught fucking a dead guy.'

I looked at Mick completely stunned. 'No shit?' 

'Full on. She had taken his body somewhere private, 
completely undressed him. They found the dead guy with 
an erection and it looked like she'd been working him 
big time.'

'No fucking way!'

'Yes, way! Somehow she'd made the guy hard. It wouldn't 
be difficult with a piece of arse like that humping 
you, eh!'

'Yeah, she is fucking hot!' I had to agree with Mick on 
that one.

'But that's her thing, you see. Which is why you don't 
see anybody around her much.'

'Is it because they know about her past?'

'No, that was really hushed up. I don't think anybody 
else here knows about that. She just likes to be left 
alone.'

'Fucking hell! This would make a good story.'

Mick laughed, 'I thought you'd want to write about this 
one'.

'It may be just bullshit, though', I shrugged. 'How can 
you prove this happened?'

'I found it while snooping about in her office. She 
left a filing cabinet open and was outside for a while 
when I found her discharge paper bundled up in the 
bottom of the cabinet drawer. For some reason she kept 
it there. The comments made by her manager were 
vague...'

'Ahh, so this could just be bullshit! You could be just 
making it up.'

'No fucking way is this bullshit.' Mick drained his 
coffee. 'And I'll prove it to you, just wait and see.' 
Mick ended the discussion with a confident tone in his 
voice.

I walked back to my van, disoriented, rethinking all 
that Mick had told me, trying to match the dark desires 
of this 'fictional' character that he spoke about with 
the beautiful, innocent-looking woman who had greeted 
me earlier...

*

A routine was pleasantly unfolding for me at Seagrove 
Caravan Park. With my free time, and a boss no longer 
looking over my shoulder, I was beginning to write 
again after being locked into a low wage, shitty job 
for five years. I was catching up, writing about the 
city life, the women I never had and the few I did 
have, shitty moments, happy moments, mad-arsed moments 
that most writers ignore at their peril. 

Once a fortnight, Mick and I would drive over to the 
unemployment office to submit our job-search 
applications, a small amount of money would come 
through where I could buy a few groceries and write 
some more for a little longer. The beach was in walking 
distance and I would go down there late in the morning, 
usually I would leave behind a short story in the van 
fresh from the night before, and wade into the ocean up 
to my neck. The water was always cool, it woke me up 
quickly.

It was early one evening, when I had just finished 
cooking dinner on the gas stovetop, that Mick knocked 
excitedly before bursting through, 'old man Jonesy has 
carked it. Vera's been hovering around his van for some 
days now with her tongue hanging out, I think she can 
smell death before it strikes.'

I grabbed a knife and fork, 'You're so full of shit!' 

I sat down to eat some mashed potato.

Mick let loose with his obsession about Vera and what 
she'd planned for Jonesy that night. 

'I saw her over there at dusk, it's going to be an all-
nighter in THAT van with Vera and STIFF Jonesy.'

'Bullshit!'

'She's wearing a skimpy outfit.'

'Bullshit!'

'Take a fucking look!'

I carried the plate of food over with me to the window 
and continued eating. A faint light was seeping out of 
Jonesy's van. 

Mick was becoming increasingly desperate, 'She's 
banging that old dude right now!'

I gave Mick a strange look and kept eating. 'Who the 
fuck would be desperate enough to bang that guy!'

'There are candles lit inside his van. Jonesy never lit 
candles in his van!'

'Maybe he's out of power!'

'Look, it's getting near dark. Let's sneak over to 
Jonesy's van to see what's really going on!'

I took a bite of hot, greasy sausage, 'Mick I think 
you're fucking deluded. Since I've been here I've seen 
nothing odd about Vera and I saw Jonesy just this 
morning, he was walking along the beach and he looked 
fit as. So stop talking crap, I've got some more putrid 
stories to get on with tonight.'

Mick looked only slightly offended. 'I'm offering you 
something juicy, dude!'

'Dinner... is getting... cold,' I replied between 
mouthfuls.

'You're going to lose a good fucking story!'

I quickly finished the rest of my meal while Mick left 
the van. I lifted my cup of hot tea, turned on the 
pocket radio and turned off the light near my table. 
The dark interior was a dream for a voyeur, I looked 
over at the soft light coming out of Jonesy's van and 
sipped at my tea, before retreating to my bunk. 

With the radio crackling with static...sleep came on 
slowly that night. Mick's disturbed thoughts had 
entered my consciousness and were still echoing through 
my brain. I was still shaking away provocative images 
of Vera when I awoke...

3:10am. 

Wide awake! 

That doesn't normally happen to me. The air felt tense, 
vibrant, too active for the deader side of night. 

I sat up in the bunk and looked through the opening 
between the curtains that covered the front window. 
Candlelight was still seeping out of Jonesy's van. Just 
as I turned to lie back on my small pillow, movement 
caught my attention. I looked back at Jonesy's van. 

A pale, semi-naked figure of a woman was moving about 
inside.

My eyes widened. 'That's definitely not Jonesy!' I 
thought.

Curiosity was building up inside me whilst I stood 
looking out at Jonesy's van. 

'Fuck it!' I thought to myself. The air was too much, 
just too much. 

Mick's comment about missing a good story came back 
through my mind as I carefully unlocked the door to my 
van and pulled down on the latch. My feet found the 
galvanised steps in the cool morning air. The surf 
could be heard crashing in the distance, the sounds of 
breaking waves were being carried across to the caravan 
park with a gentle onshore breeze. 

I walked toward Jonesy's van, keeping away from the 
larger windows of his van and remaining within the 
darker areas of the park. 'I must be fucking mad!' I 
thought to myself as I slowly ambled towards the van, 
each step taken carefully so that no dry twigs would 
snap beneath my feet.

I got down on all fours and crawled beneath Jonesy's 
van and waited. I looked for any light seeping through 
a crack in the flooring and only saw a small gap, just 
enough to put my ear against...

*

Mick awoke to the sound of rampant thumping on his 
door. 

'Who the fuck is it?'

The thumping continued until he hauled himself out of 
his bunk and unlocked the latch. 

The door swung out sharply. 'Mick, come quick dude, 
it's Vera. Vera's dead-fucking humping Jonesy.'

Mick slammed the door on his mate and crawled back into 
his bunk. 'I'm eating my dinner, so fuck off!'

'Mick, Mick! there's an all-nighter going on with VERA 
and STIFF JONESY. Come and check it out!'

Mick pretended to make chewing noises, 'Dinner... is 
getting... cold... good night!'

The door to the van was bashed several more times. 

Footsteps, punctuated by the odd snapping twig, faded 
away into the night.

END

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.

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Kristen's collection - Directory 47