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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
by RankAmatr (rankamateur@writeme.com)
***
A late 90s series of incest sanerios proported to be
from contributors. As far as we know there were a total
of 23 issues total. (MF, FF, bi, inc)
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 1
[Ed. note: This begins a series of reposts to
alt.sex.stories. moderated of the entire series of
digests. My thanks to Eli for providing this service, as
it gives me another forum to post where spam is not the
order of the day, and at the same time, there will now
be a web archive of the series!]
[Ed. note 2: I now have a lifetime e-mail address
(rankamateur@writeme.com) and I'm going to use that from
now on. I'm still rankamatr@aol.com for a little while.]
Even though incest is considered society's #1 taboo, it
is likely one of our best kept secrets.
It is my belief that if the real facts were to be known,
in proportion to other sexual behaviors, it is more
likely that an individual would have had sexual
relations with a brother or sister, than to have perhaps
engaged in homosexual activities or other shared
experiences.
I am interested in hearing from individuals who have had
sexual relations with a family member, and what direct
and actual impact this type of an relationship has had
on you. I am not looking for details of respective
experiences, but just simply;
...With whom (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, etc.).
...At what age?
...Who 'wooed' who?
...How you feel about your experience(s) today?
You can be assured the confidentiality of any
information provided will not be compromised.
If you've had an experience you would like to share,
please direct your responses to: RankAmateur@writeme.com
The following are stories I have received so far. Thank
you.
***
I was seduced at an early age by an aunt and never
regretted it whatsoever. It made me into a great lover
of women.
***
I had sex with my cousin when I was 16 and she was 17.
Before that we had kissed but that was it. I am now 23,
we continue to have sex whenever it is possible. We both
feel it has helped our sex lives extremely. We can share
with each other fantasies that we are afraid to share
with others. I would say that it was and has been the
greatest sexual experience of my life. I love my cousin
dearly for sharing all our times together.
***
I recently had sex with my first cousin. We're both
grown, I'm married and she's divorced. We've always felt
an attraction, but nothing happened until I took the
initiative and seduced her after a family get-together.
We did it again a few weeks later. It was fun when it
was happening, and she said she enjoyed it, but now she
won't call me back. I'm afraid it's bothering her now,
despite the fact that she claimed she had no hang-ups
about incest. See my recent posting to alt.sex.incest
entitled "Fucking my Cousin (M/F, true, incest)" for
more details.
***
My cousin and I have had sex on and off for the last ten
years or so. It is very casual and we both enjoy it. It
is very consensual since we were in our early twenty's
when it started. We both see other people and have been
married before. She lives in the Midwest and I live on
the west coast so we don't see each other often enough
to get bored with it.
***
Have had such experiences. Cousins, nieces, aunt, half-
brother. All enjoyable. I agree this is an under-
recognized part of our lives. Would like telling you
about these, but do not totally trust this distribution
system. Perhaps there are ways to work it out. Let's
talk. I can finance long distance call if necessary.
***
I had sex with a cousin who is 4 years younger. As a
matter of fact, one of her children is mine.
***
I was adopted by my parents at age two. My first memory
of incest was when I was in preschool and as my mother
drove me home, she fondled my crotch as she drove.
Sometimes she would come to bed with me and fondle me
there. Full intercourse started when I was eight and
continued for seven more years. It also included my
sister who was four years older and also adopted. Soon I
was having intercourse with her and this lasted for ten
years, even after she was married. My sister and I still
get together about four times a year and enjoy each
other very much. I am now 41 and she is 45.
The experiences were very positive, both my mother and
sister were gentle and kind. I always received positive
reinforcement when I pleased them. To say the least, I
was trained very well in pleasing a woman, and my wife
can attest to that.
I cannot think of any negative results other than it
took me 18 years after I was married to tell my wife and
I always felt guilty of holding back with her. We
fantasize regularly now.
***
I began having sex with my older sister, I was 8 or 9
and she was 16 or 17, I really enjoyed it but she
refused to let me touch her when she began going steady.
It was then when I turned to my younger sister. By then
I was 12 or 13. We continued having sex all through my
college years until I moved out of state.
We see each other infrequently but we do talk on the
phone and fantasize about our sex. When we do get
together we have super sex. I am now 44 and she is 37. I
have also had sex with my daughter.
This began when she was 15, she is now 20 and married on
her own. We all lead very productive lives now. Please
let me share the stories of others.
***
Hi, yes I have I've been with my mom, dad, brother, and
both of my sisters. Since I don't live with mom and dad
anymore they are pretty much out of the picture, but I
live with one of my sisters and our brother lives close
by. We all spend a lot of time together if you know what
I mean.
All us girls are bisexual because of this and we love
it. I am the middle of 3 girls. My older sister started
having sex when she was 12. I started with her at 10. I
was 12 before I did anything with my brother or father.
Same with the others.
I guess 12 was the decided age. Anyway, the experiences
we have all shared has brought us all close together. No
regrets here. We're all glad we did it. I hope this
helped your survey.
***
Hi, I read your note inquiring about those who have had
incest. I am a 22 yr old college student and I have been
sexually active with my twin sister since 14, we enjoy
our relationship very much and are planning to live
together after we both graduate from college this
summer.
Our dad died from cancer just a few weeks before we
graduated from high school and a little over a year
later mom joined us kids in our lovemaking and it has
been wonderful making her happy. I am going to college
close to home and I am home on most weekends. Mom and I
spend a lot of time together in bed.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 2
Incest is prevalent in our family, I have an uncle and
aunt (dad's sister) who have 18 kids, and most of them
have been or are involved in incest with siblings. The
older ones teaching the younger ones how to have fun. I
would be interested with how many replies you receive
and how most feel about their relationships.
***
My mom and dad both introduced me to sex at the tender
age of 7. I walked in on them in the act and rather than
throw me out they invited me in to watch and learn.
Eventually the "lessons" progressed further to the point
where I participated in their lovemaking. It was
wonderful! I felt very special, very loved and VERY
grownup.
I never regretted it for a minute.
We had and still have a very open caring relationship.
Unlike many children and most adolescents I knew how
much they loved me and trusted me. I was never forced or
coerced.
I believe that my incestual relations with mom and dad
were the basis for the exciting sex life I now have. I'm
so happy they didn't let taboo stand in the way of
expressing their love for me physically.
***
My wife and I would like to receive any stories you can
forward to us.
We have been involved for quite a few years. We have
three children. All are involved and have been since
they were in their teens. They are now 20, 19 and 18.
***
Nice post!
I have been sexually intimate with my father since I was
14 (now 19). While I have never had any real head trips
from it, I think it is frequently difficult for my dad
to deal with.
He has repeatedly tried to "end" it, but never for more
than a couple of weeks. He also has real hang-ups about
having certain types of sex with me, even though he
knows I personally enjoy them.
I would like to be able to talk with him more about his
feelings, but it is hard for him to talk to me about it.
I think he feels that he is "sick", or something, and I
think that the fact that he can't actually control his
desires is also upsetting to him.
I have always told him that I don't think you can make
black and white judgments about it. This kind of a
relationship is different for different people, and for
some people it can be very positive, and very right.
About my mother: I have one, but we have never been
close, and she and my father divorced about 4 to 3 years
ago. She had no "involvement," but she was the "cause"
of it. She was/is a complete alcoholic who was drunk by
10 am, and passed out by about 3 in the afternoon every
day, and was really nothing but a vegetable in our home.
***
First I must admit my curiosity for your inquiry. I have
protected the secrecy of my relationship with my mother
for years but have become more curious if others share
similar experiences.
It started in my teens. My mother initiated the
exploration when she believed I was asleep. It is common
for adolescents to have an erection when sleeping.
My mother first explored me by looking at my erection,
later by touching it with her hand and finally by oral
contact. This occurred at intervals during my teens and
I had learned to feign sleeping if I was awakened during
the contact. It stopped when I went away to college.
Some years later, when I was in my mid twenties and my
mother in her mid forties, after a party celebrating my
mother's birthday, we were cleaning up. The good humor
and alcohol relaxed us and, more from curiosity and a
sense of trust, the subject was broached.
It probably was awkward at first but then we both found
that bit of past both complimentary and exciting.
Perhaps the wine contributed to the decision but our
discussion had proceeded into some very intimate and
arousing subjects and we decided to do a bit more
exploring.
With mutual physical contact and stimulation, we were
both excited to the point that full intercourse
occurred. I found it to be a fantastic experience and my
mother agreed that she found it similarly rewarding.
Since then, we frequently have very satisfying
intercourse. Perhaps the taboo nature of our
relationship adds to the excitement but we are also
careful, society judgments being what they are, and
intend to continue our secret affair indefinitely.
As I stated, I am curious if others have had similar
experiences and are dealing with it comfortably. I would
be interested in any information you have and would
appreciate your response.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 3
With sister (Well we tried) it was when we were in
primary school (Below age 12 anyway), she is 18 months
younger than me. We never did get it right (no actual
penetration, we tried though, too young maybe? *shrug*),
mutually masturbated each other quite a bit.
I can't speak for my sister but I don't think it has
affected me either beneficially or adversely.
***
My experience would fit with your suspicions, for I had
a long-standing incestuous relationship with my older
sister that served more to bond an already healthy
connection that has lasted all these years to now.
I've written of our early sexual awakening, at least
with each other, of the halting and hesitant attraction
we discovered for each other and how that slowly
progressed.
Some readers, looking for fantasy fulfillment perhaps,
have registered a modicum of disappointment that (so
far) "haven't done it yet." But that slow-as-molasses
mutual seduction was as it really happened.
While there was more to occur between us, I've not
written more than the first ten chapters and this small
novel.
For your purposes, the experience, based on openness and
honesty, served us well. We came to know ourselves, our
sensuous and sexual selves well in our incestuous
relationship.
We remained close, at first physically as well as
emotionally, and later, on different sides of the
country, there continues to exist a strong tie of warmth
and trust.
To this day I fantasize about her. I've not written
about the fantasies I had about my mother. That remains
in the shadows of my closet.
***
My sister and myself had sex at age 14 (we were each
other's first time). It was a wonderful experience..
although I admit it never lasted long enough for my
liking. I look back on it with very fond memories today.
***
I have had sex with sis. She's 20 and I'm 22, and male.
Both love it. Have you seen the book, "Children and
Sex". Finkelhor, in an article in there, does produce
data which does show more sibling sex than homosexual
sex! You stand correct. Please e-mail me back the
results of your studies...
***
My guess is that a lot of siblings experiment sexually.
My brother and I did. He was my first, and pretty much
my only (at least my only steady sexual partner) in high
school.
It wasn't until we got back together again as adults,
and reacquainted ourselves, sexually I mean, that we
began to fall in LOVE. And that, I'm sure you know, is
an entirely different thing all together.
***
Well, by the age of 8 or 9, I've played the bionic man
with my sister.
She was the bionic woman, in our play. Usually, it was
not sexual. But by two or three times, we have had
sexual contact. She took my penis in her mouth once, but
just with her lips. Her tongue stayed away and it lasted
only a few seconds. (A single insertion.)
I have kind of masturbated her with my big toe another
time. Once, we had interfemoral intercourse. I was
fucking her thighs, sort of. And I came that way!
Generally, she was just dancing naked in front of me.
She is three years younger than me. Our last game play
ended when I was about 12-13, I think. After a bath, I
went in bed with her and poured some honey on her tits
and I then proceeded to lick them clean.
I don't even remember if I was excited or not when I did
these things. I am not excited at all to write them,
now. I am now 26, living with my girlfriend and my
sister. (Up to July...) I have absolutely no sexual
desire for my sister today. But we talk about sex pretty
openly.
I know she once let a cat lick her clit, she also made
love with her boyfriend next to another couple of
friends, she enjoys cock-sucking (she said she probably
have a g-spot in the top of her mouth).
We have never talked about what happened when we were
younger but I sometimes do jokes, just to test her. Like
if she says she is out of sex, I ask her if I can help.
No success.. :) I don't expect any, however.
***
My sister, when I was 17 and she was 20.
***
I would love to trade experiences with someone.....I
have had an intimate relationship with both my sister
AND my brother.
***
I would be interested in sharing the information you are
seeking. I have been looking for a suitable forum to
discuss this issue since it is not exactly the main
topic of polite conversation at cocktail parties.
I have had actual sexual experiences with a family
member and would like to discover how prevalent this
type of behavior actually is.
To date neither I nor my sister, with whom I engaged in
this "relationship" have not discussed our experiences
with anyone other than ourselves.
***
I had sex with my sister for about 3 yrs. beginning when
I was 15 and she was 13 years old. We are now in our
mid-thirties living independent but productive lives.
***
I don't know why your page contains no negative comments
on incest, there must be a reason for the fact that
people with negative feelings about this subject don't
react.
However what I do know is that there are a lot of boys
and girls on this planet who are engaged in incestuous
relationships. A lot of them (I don't know which
portion) are deeply unhappy with their situation,
because it often involves abuse of power by an elderly.
So I maintain my point of view that your page, even
though being assembled democratically, is in no way an
adequate representation of reality. For a fact I can
tell you that 1 in 7 girls in Holland have encountered
something like incest.
I can't tell you how many enjoyed it and how many
didn't, but it is reasonable to say that most didn't,
just read the newspapers and watch the news.
I don't have any stories to post, since I happily have
no other relation with this subject than through fantasy
on the odd occasions.
***
I am male 40 years old, it all started when I was around
12 and had to go into hospital to be circumcised.
Following the operation, besides being very painful the
penis needs to be cleaned frequently to avoid infection,
My mom did this, and it gradually became more than just
medical care. We had always been quite open as a family,
and nudity was in a lot of cases taken for granted.
At 12 years old both me and my sister used to bathe and
shower together (sister 2 years older) Mother encouraged
sexual touching by my sister on the pretence that she
was helping her to fix my dressing, this developed into
full sexual contact between my sis an myself, and still
continues today although we are both happily married.
For several years now I have thought that this should
end, but always come to the conclusion that I only think
this to conform!!! All my experiences I consider have
been fulfilling and I regret none of them. I would be
happy to share some of them with someone who...possibly?
...feels the same way, or has a genuine interest.
***
You didn't mention response from you on submissions. How
does that go. I don't like one-way streets very much.
Also you give the impression that you're only interested
in male/female incest. How about that...
***
Is your "survey" genuine? I hope so, because I am in the
distinct minority of persons who feel that incest can be
very positive. I would like to network with such people.
***
My incestuous experiences were with my brother who is 5
years older. (Male on Male) He introduced me to mutual
masturbation and anal sex when I was about 8. I don't
think that it has adversely affected me at all. I am
normal, heterosexual, and a good relationship with my
wife.
***
I have fucked my niece several times over a period of 7
years or so. Whenever she comes to visit and swim nude
in our pool I screw the crap out of her if my wife is
not around. She loves being screwed by an older man. I
am 40 and she is now 17.
We started when I found her sticking a hot dog up her
pussy when she was about 11 yrs old. She cried and
promised anything if I would not tell her parents, so I
taught her to eat my cock and it led to me screwing her.
She still comes to visit and she still likes my cock in
her pussy. We see each other 1-2 times a year and always
have some good sex.
***
Well for a year my mother and I were having sex, I was
17 and she about 37.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 4
I think the answers you are getting to your question on
incest are one-sided. I agree that incest is much large
than is admitted, having several friends that have
participated in it. However, it is not likely for
someone who has suffered because of it to answer to your
question because of the shame they feel.
I will tell you about one of my friends. Her father is a
Minister at a Methodist church. She has two brothers who
are older than her. Her father started molesting the
brothers at an early age (not sure when).
They believed it to be OK since their father did it to
them, so they both tried it out on her (my friend).
For 7 years her brothers continued their incest. She
even had an abortion at age 13-14 because of her
brothers. She told the authorities, teachers, and
doctors.. all knew, but never followed up on it.
She was one person who did not find incest positive. She
has been institutionalized several times for depression
and other problems. She sees life as a living hell.
Please add this with your postings in the newsgroups,
because it is a side that needs to be told. I Am not
condemning it... I have not personally experienced it,
but I have seen several results of it->none of which are
good.
***
Hi,
I had a fairly long affair with my aunt (mother's
sister) - on and off for about 7 years. The whole thing
ended more than ten years ago because I left my home-
country and came to the U.S. I come from an Asian
society where "sex" as a whole is more of a taboo
subject - and sexual freedom is a lot less compared to
the west.
I grew up spending a lot of time with my relatives on my
mom's side.
My first "sexual experiences" (not necessarily ones in
which I took part) were all more or less related to
peeping at women in the household - like taking baths,
changing clothes, and occasionally (if I got lucky)
sexual intercourse.
During my high-school years - a combination of
pornography (that was the only regular outlet for sexual
tension) and the occasional peeping episodes had made me
very horny in general.
Around this time I got really hooked on this aunt of
mine - who had all the right things in the right places
to drive a teenager crazy. I don't think she ever
considered me to be a "grown-up" and was quite careless
about my getting to see parts of her sexy body.
If anything she probably enjoyed my desperation.
To make a long story short - this gradually led to a
situation where - quite often - especially at night -
whenever there was the opportunity - she would slip into
my bed - jerk me off - and depending on her mood - let
me play with her absolutely stunning breasts. But for
the longest time - she would never let me touch her
"down there".
I was very curious about that mysterious place which she
kept out of bounds - primarily because it was so heavily
covered with hair that I could hardly see anything at
all even if she changed clothes right in front of my
eyes.
Eventually, in my 2nd year in college - things became a
lot more "adult". She let me ejaculate anywhere on her
ass, or thighs or any other part of her body. She also
let me masturbate her AFTER she was sure I wouldn't get
an erection again for a while.
This went on for about 2 years. I was quite happy with
this routine - although I really felt like doing it all
- at least once.
That chance came much later - when I planned things in
such a way that I would catch her off guards - close to
the peak of her orgasm. I just switched gears - stopped
stimulating her clit - and got on top and pleaded
desperately. And it worked!
That was probably the most exciting thing that ever
happened to me. For almost two days in a row - I was
free to do whatever I wanted - whenever I wanted. It was
like a real-life workshop in executing all the fantasies
one ever had!
It has been a long time - and I haven't seen her for
years. I thinks she is still filled with a lot of guilt.
But I think she is also relieved that I am so far away -
and we don't have to meet socially in the presence of
other family members.
***
I have only told 2 other people in the world about this,
but now I'm telling you... I married a woman in 1981 who
had 2 daughters, 11 and 13 at the time.
About 6 months into the marriage, my wife had 2
operations on her cervix which made intercourse very
painful... we stopped having sex... but I would take one
or the other of the girls and show them my penis,
finally teaching them to take it into their mouths and
sucking on it until they "made Daddy shoot his cream",
always on their tongues and into their young mouths. I
loved them more than I ever loved their mother.
Now, 15 years later, I still see the younger one and she
still likes to have my penis in her mouth as we go to
sleep. I use her in motels every chance I get...I hope
this positive experience is helpful to someone out
there.
***
I had sex with my mother when I was 16. My father had
recently died and I spent a lot of time with my mother.
We took trips and would get only one room at motels.
Hard to say who wooed who, but one night when we were
sleeping in the same bed I awoke with my mother
caressing my balls, and we were soon kissing deeply. She
went down on me and I came more than I have ever cum
since.
We then made love regularly for about six months, when
she started dating another man. The last time we had sex
was a sad time; we both knew it was the last time.
I have never regretted it and I know that she didn't
either; it was something we both needed at the time.
***
My sister and I had oral sex on and off from the time I
was about 15 till I was 20. She is 2 years younger than
I. Mostly I went down on her. We had bedrooms facing
each other.
She would rock her waterbed and make it make sloshing
sounds and that was kind of my cue. I would go over and
she would lift her night shirt. To this day, I have not
tasted pussy as sweet.
There was never any force, and most of the times it
happened she would come to me and outright ask me to
"lick" her. We didn't speak during sex (for me, it was
because my mouth was busy) probably out of fear or the
parents catching us.
You know how fundamental religions are about these
things. I don't think I learned much about pleasuring
women, but I did learn that I love to go down on a woman
(if she is moderately clean).
I still fantasize about it now and then. The only
detrimental affect it's had is that she started feeling
guilty about it and made a big scene about it all. The
fact that she feels bad about it hurts me. She didn't
speak to me for about 4 years.
Only recently has she started coming around and acting
like I'm human again. I don't know what kind of affect
it had on her in general because even now she won't talk
about it.
*grin* As it turns out, she was in a monthly porn
magazine that I occasionally pick up. I bought the month
after she was in it and found her picture in the letters
to the editor.
The letter mentioned the issue and showed one of the
photos from the pictorial. Still trying to collect that
one, but it's been a couple years.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 5
I started with my sister at the age of 17 and she was
15. She started tickling me and her hands repeatedly
went to my cock. Then she stood up and asked if I wanted
her to pose like the women in my girlie magazines. I
said yes and I jacked off as she did.
When my cock was hard, she came over and mounted it and
we fucked till I started to cum and she pulled off and
let it shoot all over her face.
We fucked several times a week till she was 18 and went
to college. we still do it once and a while, ever after
20 yes. we still enjoy it, and do it when we aren't
getting enough from our spouses.
***
I wonder how many of these stories are genuine. Mine is.
I am a married woman, now 41, with a son 15. I am
Caucasian of German and Italian heritage, 5'5" 120
pounds and most people consider me pretty attractive. My
son and I have been "involved" since he was 13.
It is hard to say who seduced who since we are a family
that openly displays affection with lots of normal
hugging, kissing etc. Plus we are not ashamed of our
bodies, although open nakedness is not the rule and we
do have some modesty.
However, since my son and obviously he grew up with me
taking care of him he is not too shy around me, although
as he has grown up he is a little more so.
Basically, I guess I really started to notice his body
more as he entered puberty and began developing and
thought he was very beautiful (I guess most mothers
would think that about their sons).
Since he was always very comfortable around me there was
never any big issue about his nakedness or me seeing him
that way. Looking back on it I realize it was his way of
apparently trying to interest me in him in other than a
motherly way.
At first I thought I had seduced him but I realized
after a little while that he had been taking every
chance to peek at me in the shower and when I dressed
and always seemed to be walking in on me in my bedroom,
etc. and then I realized that he had an interest in me
for awhile.
His freedom and comfort in his nakedness around me I
think was also sort of a "display" for him to interest
me in him (and it worked!).
We have very loving sex about three times a week and it
is very fulfilling for both of us, and very loving.
Sexually it is very complete for both of us, and I never
fail to reach an orgasm when with him.
He of course, at his young age, can enjoy multiple
ejaculations with the briefest of rests between times.
When his father goes out of town on business Chris
sleeps with me and it is truly wonderful for both of us.
His father (my husband) knows nothing of this and I'm
sure would go bull shit if he ever found out, so it is a
secret.
I would be interested in hearing from other women who
share my feelings.
***
I started having sexual intercourse with my brother when
I was 17-years old and he was 22. Although he initiated
the intimacy, I was quite willing since I had always
been attracted to him.
I found that having sex with him was more exciting than
with my boyfriends at the time and, as the years have
gone by, we continue to enjoy fantastic sex with each
other. I am now 37 and married and he is 42 and married.
Neither my husband nor his wife are aware of our sexual
relationship. One of the more exciting aspects of having
sex with my brother is that we do things to and with
each other that we don't do with our spouses. I hope you
find this useful for your survey.
***
I saw you post and thought that I would reply. I grew up
with only one parent, my mother. After I grew up, I
started college and rented a room from her. When I was
23, we started to have sex. It was a mutual thing and we
continue to do it even today.
***
Between the ages of 13-16 I committed incest with my
sister who is 3 years younger than I am. We never had
intercourse, but we did participate in oral sex and
masturbation. I hit on her, but she enjoyed it. We have
never told anybody and we don't do this anymore.
Now I have my partners and she is beginning to have her
own partners. It was somewhat enjoyable, but I have
found many partners that are much more exciting. It was
just a way for me to get off without a girlfriend and
without masturbating myself.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 06
I don't know if my experience really qualifies as
"incest" or not. In my family, of which I am the first
one "out of the sticks" it is not at all uncommon for
2nd or 3rd cousins to marry.
I guess that is the reason that when I watched the movie
"Deliverance" the first time I certainly had more in
common with the "hill folk" than I did with the city
slickers from Atlanta out polluting the river.
Anyway, when I was in High School, which was down in
Texas, several of my cousins also attended school with
me. It is a difficult enough time for most teenagers to
contend with sex to begin with, but with cousins it is
possible to achieve a level of communication that you
just cannot achieve with other friends.
My cousins, three girls on my dad's side of the family
and two on my mother's and I were all very close. I was
a good looking young man and although I had very few
problems getting dates, my cousins and I were always
very close.
At different times I had sex with all five of them. Two
of them, one on my dad's side and one on my mom's are
the same age as I am, while the others are one to two
years older or younger.
The first one that I had sex with is 2 years older than
me. She was a majorette and cheerleader. We were close
to begin with and sex seemed on the natural thing.
I guess she told the others and one after the other they
all approached me. Never did I actually insist that we
have sex. For all of them I was their first. In one
respect I should feel lucky, in others I guess I should
be ashamed.
Most of this occurred when I was between 16 and 18 years
of age. I joined the military in 1969 and went to Viet
Nam. It was the only right thing to do then. When I came
back most of the girls were married or living in other
towns.
I don't think it really had a detrimental effect on any
of us. We are still a very close family and we see each
other every few years, usually when one of the old folks
passes away. Only one of them has ever approached me
again and this happened at a family reunion in the late
1970's. She had a bad first marriage.
Late in the evening she and I were setting around
drinking beer. The subject of her first time came up and
she said she always remembered it as one of the nice
things between us. Before we knew it we were doing it
again.
The amazing part of the whole thing is that sex seemed
to be the right thing for us to do. It is entirely
different than sex with your spouse, for one thing it is
a lot more intense. I don't know if it is the taboo
aspect of it or what, but sex with my cousins was the
most physically exciting sex I have ever had.
Is it bad to look forward to such and experience? I
don't think so. Jeff Foxworthy sure knows about it, "A
redneck goes to the family reunion looking for girls."
ha.
***
My cousin and I had a sexual relationship from the time
we were 5 till 17 yrs old. He lived with us for a time
and was very much a brother. We started experimenting at
5 in an exploratory way.
We thought nothing about it being wrong. By the time we
discovered it was "not correct" for close relatives let
alone boys to play like this, we figured that it still
felt good so what the heck.
We both would switch being the girl, so we satisfied
each other. Soon we discovered oral sex and performed it
on each other regularly. We never had what you'd call a
romantic attachment though, no kissing or anything like
that.
I first had sex with a girl when I was 9 with a friend
down the street I'd known all my life. This made us feel
grown up, on top of having something fun, secret, and
special between us. We did it a few more times at
sleepovers and such.
By the time I was 13, I had become an open minded boy. I
knew a lot about sex as I read a lot and felt I had some
experience.
It was at this time my sister (12) became sexually
aggressive. She knew nothing of my experiences. She
seemed to like to wrestle in underwear, try to catch you
in the shower and sneak peeks.
We went on holidays and we got to stay in our own motel
room next to our parents. Like a lot of conversations
between kids late at night, it turned to sex and under
the pretense of curiosity or practice or whatever it led
to actual sex.
I found the weirdest part the first kiss. We had already
touched each other all over, but I'd never kissed
anybody properly before. She kissed me first. I wanted
to kiss someone for a long time but when it happened,
for a second all I could think of was this was my little
kid sister not a real woman.
I kissed her back so she wouldn't think there was
something she did wrong. The third time something broke
then we couldn't get enough. Suddenly we were giddy all
the more because we were siblings. We did everything.
The next day we were a bit shy but blown away by the
fact we had a lover who'd been there all along.
We knew we'd do it again and we did. We were very good
together. By the time we were 16 we started cooling to
each other. She got a boyfriend, then I got a girlfriend
and we became ordinary teenagers. My cousin and I still
played a bit but it knocked off by the time I was 17. My
sister never knew.
We all went on to do fine with our lives and are happy
in our relationships. I ended up an average hetero.. I'm
glad we learned from each other when we did and I feel
there's nothing wrong with it.
I'll bet a lot more goes on than we know. So long as
people with dirty minds don't make the individuals feel
bad about themselves, it's just growing up. I feel we
know each better because of it and are more bonded.
Kids do have sex lives and as long as it's between them
on their own terms that's fine. And if your sister is
attractive, don't try and tell me you haven't caught
yourself checking her out when she walks out in summer
in a bikini!
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 07
Hi! I don't really know where to start, but I have been
having sex with my older sister since my early teens.
She walked in on me while I was masturbating. She said,
it was only natural for people to masturbate and offered
to masturbate with me.
She was older than me so I quess you could say she
'seduced' me. We masturbated together. Eventually, I was
asked if I would like to touch her pussy ane breasts
which I did as she fondled me. We both had a great time
and masturbated each other to orgasm.
After a couple of times together, we progressed into
having sex. She was my first. We have a very special
relationship and still have sex even though we are both
now married. My wife knows about us having sex, but my
sister's husband doesn't. My wife is still very secure
in our marriage.
***
I was very interested to read your article, and in fact
would be interested to read more, especially interested
to read brother/sister stories. Please-mail me with
anything you have that might be of interest.
I have never told anyone of this story, and yes,
anonymity is very important.
My story started when my sister and I were kids, she was
probably 9 and I was 12, it was typical "playing
doctor". After a few times and realizing my sister
enjoyed these games I started to take them further, we
progressed from touching to mutual masturbation, oral
sex.
We used to sneak around outside in the bushes or in the
house when no one was at home, take our clothes off, and
I would finger her and fuck her with things like candles
and show her how to stroke and suck my erection.
Finally I took it even further and had sexual
intercourse with her one day when the rest of the family
was out. We had sex with each other another dozen times
or so over the next year, outside in the bushes, in her
room at night, and always my sister showed eagerness and
seemed to enjoy the excitement of what we were doing.
It was several years later when we next got together, I
must have been 19 which would have made her 16. We were
very close, it started one night when we were at home
alone and drinking my dad's whisky, I had always been
sexually attracted to her, especially since she reached
puberty, she had a nice body.
Finally I just asked her if she wanted to get naked with
me, she was nervous and embarrassed at first but seemed
relaxed and excited after we got our clothes off. Her
naked body was beautiful, I think it was the fact that
it was so wrong and so naughty that made it so
incredibly exciting, it was a buzz that was so strong it
was like a drug with me.
After several sessions of mutual masturbation we
actually engaged in intercourse. I made sure not to cum
in her so the chances of her getting pregnant was
smaller. She was much more responsive than when she was
younger, I don't know if she had an orgasm but she did
seem very excited.
Over the next 4 years we had sexual intercourse or
masturbated each other often, usually about once or
twice a month. I always tried to make sure we did it
right after her period to reduce the chances of her
getting pregnant.
Usually I would sneak into her bedroom late at night,
sometime I snuck into the bathroom while she was in
there, and occasionally we would do it outside which was
especially exciting.
We almost got caught by our parents several times and
once by some neighbors when I visited her while she was
baby-sitting. This risk element added to the incredible
excitement even more.
The last time we had sex was three years ago, we were
both married by then and we were at home visiting the
parents for Christmas, everyone got very drunk and late
at night we slipped outside and we fucked inside my
parents caravan.
It was the most furious sex I had ever had, it was
powerfully erotic. Soon after that I called her and
asked her to meet me at a hotel room, I desperately
wanted to have sex with her again. She showed up with
her husband, she told me she had told him everything and
it had to stop, I had never been so embarrassed and
humiliated in my life.
We talked later and she told me she felt very guilty
about the secret she carried with her and was so
relieved to get it off her chest.
I think incest will always be much more alluring and
exciting and any other form of sex because it was taboo.
Sex with my sister was the ultimate form of erotic lust,
the excitement of doing something so wrong was enormous,
there were no emotions mixed in, there was no worry that
she might leave me.
***
My sister and I had always fooled around from the time
we were young children. We would kiss each other and
touch each other's genitals. We both liked it but even
so we didn't get together very often, only a few times a
year.
As we grew older our involvement progressed to my going
down on her and the two of us trying to have sex. But
she was too young physically, she said that it hurt and
so I would stop trying to push into her. This was when
she was about 10 and I was 12.
One night our mother was over at her boyfriend's house
for the night. My sister was 14 at the time, and I was
16. We were alone watching a movie on cable. The movie
was called "Wild Orchid," and for those of you who
haven't seen it, it's almost pornography. In fact I
heard that in one scene they were actually having sex
but that the film rating board didn't find out until
after the movie had been in theaters.
Anyway, we both got really turned on and started making
out on the floor. I was lying on top of her and we were
french-kissing, which I loved. I wanted to say something
romantic and so I stopped kissing her, looked into her
eyes, and said "I want to make love, do you?" She
nodded.
I started to kiss her again but she stopped me and told
me to get up. When we were both standing she took me by
the hand and led me to her bedroom. I knew right then
that she was serious. She told me to take my clothes off
and we both did. I had the hardest time getting my
shoelaces untied, I was so excited.
When I was finally undressed we both got under the
covers where she did something she had never done
before, she went down on me. I didn't know what she was
trying to do until I felt her mouth on my penis.
I'm not going to bother to describe how great it felt. I
started to shiver as if I were cold even though I wasn't
and we were both under the covers. I had her stop after
awhile when I was about to come. She laid back down and
I went down on her. My tongue soon got tired as well.
I climbed on top of her where we kissed some more. She
told me she was ready and that I didn't have to worry
about getting her pregnant since she had just had her
period. We got into position so I could push into her,
but I couldn't find the right place to push on. She
reached down and directed my penis to a place and said
"there, push."
I pushed and I felt myself slide into a warm, soft, wet
place. I sometimes wonder if penis and vagina size are
controlled by the same genes, we fit together perfectly.
I slid in as far as I could go.
She didn't make a sound while this was happening. Once
all the way in I began moving in and out, sometimes
pulling all but the tip of my penis out and the pushing
all the way in.
It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life,
sleeping with my sister. After a SHORT while I came
hard. Now some of you won't believe this, but when I was
that age I could stay hard for as long as I wanted to. I
could jack myself off to two or three orgasms if I
wanted.
I think most guys start out like that, it's when we get
older that the equipment breaks down. We kept at it
until she came too. This took less than ten minutes. I
stayed inside her while we both caught our breath. I
pulled out only after I started to get soft. We held
each other and talked for hours before finally falling
asleep.
It's been almost ten years since then and we still do it
a few times a year. We both got real scared once when it
looked like she was pregnant. It was a false alarm,
thank god. I wasn't ready to be a father, and who knows
what the baby could have turned out like. Neither of us
feel guilty about having sex.
As far as I'm concerned, there isn't anything wrong with
consensual incest as long as no one is being exploited
and no one gets pregnant. We love each other and sex is
the way we choose to express it. I hope this helps your
survey. It is a long letter, but I wanted to tell the
whole story as best I could.
***
From: Rock
[edited/combined with later letter]
A few years ago I was divorced, my parents divorced
shortly after and my mother moved in with me. This
lasted for over 5 years. Yes I did think about what it
would be like for more than a few years before anything
happened. I was 35, she was 57 and still very good
looking!
She did almost everything else, walking around scantily
clad, towel from the shower, had me zip up dresses etc.
Then it just sort of happened.
Finally she got feeling pretty good at a friend's
wedding reception that we attended, she was my "date".
That night we just fell into bed together, she had begun
to undress in front of me. She was very horny and turned
out to be a wild woman in bed! I never had any regrets
about this!
She was (is) great! Some of her preferences shocked me
at first. I became her lover as well as disciplinarian
(she can be quite a handful at times.) This took the
form of spankings and paddling's with a wooden
hairbrush.
It was carried out while she was bare bottomed and over
my knee. The first time was a shock and a struggle,
after that (when I'd had enough and it was time for a
whacking), she would obediently take her discipline. She
understood that there was no anger, simply discipline.
We are re-married now but just last year, during a
visit, we almost had enough time to get it on again. If
we could have had another hour alone it would have
happened.
We only had enough time for a very hot petting session
in the car. She was begging for it and had worn the
minimum to the mall. It was very close! I still regret
that we didn't have time!
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 08
When I was 16, my cousin Kay and I started petting. She
was a year older and had had several boyfriends already,
so she showed me what to do. We petted under a blanket
with her little sister Nancy in the room.
At first she didn't have a clue but eventually she
figured it out and would watch us making different
shapes under the blanket, jumping up and down with
nervous excitement.
Several years later I visited Nancy at college and we
petted but didn't have sex. She was drawn to me but
couldn't deal with it.
I liked it and have good memories of the experience. I
don't know how either of them feels about it today, but
Nancy is a born again Christian, and I'm pretty sure,
still a virgin.
***
I had a short relationship with my sister and brother
when I was about 13 to 15.
My brother and I would jerk each other off (he is one
year younger than me). We also tried oral sex but it was
not that great.
My sister is two years younger and we played with each
other's parts at various times until we had fumbling
missionary sex. My mother found out and went gonzo which
ended it.
I suffered no ill effects but my sister may have been
overwhelmed by parental reaction.
I do remember it was great to cum in her and would love
to have another opportunity. We are on opposite ends of
the country and I doubt it will ever happen again but I
still fantasize.
***
Younger Brother... 13 till 35+ ... can still fuck him
now if I wanted to... he lives 600 miles away... we are
the closest when talking about sex... I have a huge cock
that he has always loved. I seduced him first. It has
not caused any problems at all. If anything we argue the
less than any of my three other brothers.
***
I saw your post and thought I would reply. I`m using an
anonymous remailer because the relationship is still
going on and my daughter (with whom I`m currently having
sex) is only 14.
We have been having sex for the past four years. It
started when we went on holiday in the summer of 1992.
We went to a caravan park in the south of France. Nearby
was a beach that wasn`t very populated and most times we
didn`t see another soul.
My wife decided she was going to go topless. I didn`t
mind this but I was stunned when my daughter joined her.
She wasn`t very big up top but her breasts were just
starting to develop and I fell in love with her there
and then in a totally different fashion.
I started to use every excuse I could to be around her
in close contact. Our first sexual encounter came when
my wife went to the site shop and left my daughter and I
alone watching the television.
We started cuddling each other and before long we
fondling each other sexually. From that date onwards we
stole every moment we could to be alone.
Now, 4 years later we are both still mad about each
other and look forward to being able to have sex we each
other as often as possible. Don`t get me wrong, I never
forced my daughter into having sex with me, She wanted
to have it as much as I did.
Hope this helps your survey. Contact me for confirmation
or further details.
***
Does this count?
When I was 15 years old my parents finally completed the
adoption of a 13 year old girl called Samantha. She had
stayed with us off and on for about 3 years as part of
the foster caregiver's scheme run by the British social
services.
The reason she was placed with my parents was because
she was apparently being sexually abused by her mother's
boyfriend.
After a couple of months (during her first stay) she
started to talk me about what she and her mother's
boyfriend had done together. At that time I was a
typical 12 year old boy whose hormones were running away
with themselves.
I couldn`t believe the things she was telling me until
one night when my parents were at a works social
function and we were trusted to be left alone.
Samantha showed me all about how she would perform oral
sex by actually sucking my penis. This lead to other
experiments until we were having full intercourse.
Despite the fact she is not a blood relative we still
enjoy sex today as much as when we first started in
1982.
***
When I was 11, my older brother and I (he was 13 at the
time) started doing stuff whenever our parents would go
out. I don't remember exactly why or how it started, but
usually I would pretend I was modeling stuff for him and
walk by him while he was sitting in my dad's chair.
I would take off whatever I was wearing and as I walked
past him he would touch me all over. I remember the
first time he slipped his finger between my little bare
lips and how wet I was.
After a while, we started doing this thing where one of
us would pretend they were asleep and the other would
kind of explore their body. I had my first orgasm from
him touching me like that. I also learned that I had to
get out of the way when he shot his sperm, or it would
be all over me.
By about the time I was 12, I had physically grown to
the point where I wanted more. One day, my brother was
lying on the sofa pretending to be asleep, so I went
over and decided to try something new.
After I had pulled down his shorts and admired his erect
dick for a few minutes, I slipped my shorts and panties
off completely and climbed onto the sofa with him,
straddling his hips.
I was shaking with anticipation as I stared down at his
throbbing erection, which was pointing right between my
legs. I leaned forward a little, lowering myself until I
felt the tip press against my cunny lips. I was slick
from my excitement and I felt the tip slip right between
them and the head pop into my hole.
I remember shivering as an orgasm shook me and looking
down to see my brother staring at me wide eyed, like he
couldn't believe what I had done. I pressed down on his
dick and managed to lodge about half of it inside me
before he started bucking his hips at me and shaking.
I knew he was going to shoot his cum but I couldn't
bring myself to pull him out... so I pressed as hard as
I could down on his throbbing dick as it began jerking
inside me, shooting his cum in me.
To this day, I have never felt anything so wonderful.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 09
Starting when I was about 10 I spent several weekends
over the course of several summers with my cousins who
lived about 20 miles away in a small town.
My male cousin, Warren, who was about half a year
younger, showed me how to masturbate, (which I kind of
already had figured out,) and we would do it to each
other every chance we got.
My older cousin, John, who was about three years older,
joined us occasionally, and would sometimes suck our
dicks. I was fascinated by their uncircumcised dicks and
by the end of the summer we were all sucking each other
every night I was there. Sometimes we took turns and
other times we would figure out ways to get in different
positions to suck each other all at the same time.
John ejaculated semen, which was scant and I didn't mind
swallowing. Warren's orgasms were dry, as were mine, at
least the first summer and, I think, most of the second.
John fucked Warren in the ass a couple of times while I
was present. John would sometimes allow Warren to
reciprocate in his asshole, but would usually suck him
instead, and sometimes would give him money afterward.
I remember that they called anal sex "cornholing."
Warren let me cornhole him once in a while, which he
seemed to enjoy. I would not let either of them do that
to me, although John never quit asking for it and would
put his fingers up my butt while he was sucking me,
which I didn't mind.
I wish, now, that I would have let them do it, at least
once, so I would know what it felt like.
Their older sister, Eva, who was about 16 at that time,
knew about our activities and would find opportunities
to let us get glimpses of her naked body, ie, in the
bathroom or when changing clothes in her bedroom. She
had nice titties and a hairy pussy. I suspect that John
and Eva were having sex, but was never able to prove my
suspicions.
I often tried to have some kind of sex with Eva, but the
closest I ever came was one night in the car on the way
home from somewhere I stuck my hand under her skirt and
played with her pussy in the dark.
She pretended to be asleep. Even though I didn't know
what I was doing, exactly, I got my finger inside her
vagina and got her wet.
That same year, when we were taking a bath together, I
showed my younger brother, who was seven, how to
masturbate and, later, I sucked his dick. With a little
encouragement he would suck mine, but he would tend to
lose attention after a short time until I figured out
how to mutually suck each other in the 69 position. That
way he came to realize that if he quit sucking mine, I
would quit sucking his.
Often, my brother would initiate sex by asking me if I
was "hungry" which led to us sneaking off together to
one of several isolated spots we used to have sex.
Sex with my cousins was an occasional thing after a few
summers, but I continued to have sex with my brother
regularly for several years after that.
I had him fuck me in the ass a couple of times, but he
said he preferred having me suck him. He would never let
me fuck his ass, and I didn't press the issue. He would
let me put fingers up his ass while I sucked him, like
my cousin had done to me.
The reason we finally quit was because my parents found
out and we got the big lecture from them and our church
Pastor.
After that we had to sleep in separate bedrooms and were
watched all the time when we were together so it was
pretty hard to get together for sex, although we managed
to do so once in a while.
Today, my brother and I are practicing heterosexuals and
neither of us, to my knowledge, have had sex with any
other males outside the family.
I did run into Warren when I was in College. We took a
couple six-packs back to his apartment. After a few
beers, he wanted to have sex, so we got naked and had
mutual oral sex.
I was kind of put off by his hairy body and his cock
was, of course, adult sized and I had trouble fitting it
in my mouth. When he came in my mouth I almost gagged.
Afterwards, he wanted me to fuck him in the asshole, but
I was too grossed out and couldn't get another hard-on.
I wouldn't even consider letting him cornhole me. He was
pretty disappointed, and he's never contacted me since
then.
As an aside, I find the pictures of naked young boys on
the newsgroups to be sexually exciting, but grown men
don't do anything for me. I would probably be open to a
sexual experience with a young teen boy, but the risk of
getting in deep trouble with the law make it not even
worth considering.
I consider my sexual experiences with my family members
to have been a positive thing. I learned a lot and have
a tolerance for gays and lesbians that a lot of people
I've met don't have.
***
Hope this helps:
My mother worked 2nd shifts at a factory after I started
jr high school, and my father used to be in charge of
seeing that I did my homework, then bathed and went to
bed on time. As a girl I used to parade around the house
nude at bedtime, and didn't realize the effect it was
having on my father as I reached menarche.
At one point he got very flustered when I walked into
the bathroom on him, naked and began brushing my teeth.
He kept staring at my breasts, and I remember feeling
what I now know is arousal.
A couple nights later I was masturbating in bed when he
came in to kiss me goodnight and caught me. I knew he
had seen me, but he didn't say anything about it, just
the usual things, talking about our day, family chit-
chat. But his hug that night was more intense and he
stayed sitting on my bed caressing me. I let him
continue, but eventually he just kissed me and left.
This continued for some time, with the caressing taking
more and more time till finally he was touching me
breasts and vagina, and bringing me to orgasm. I was
only 13 at the time. It became our nightly ritual, and
occasionally at first started even before I got ready
for bed.
At some point I noticed he was rubbing himself while he
got me off, and I asked him what he was doing, pretty
much knowing, but not all the details. So he told me,
and I asked him to show me, and could I do it for him
like he did for me.
Well, this went on for a while, with me looking forward
to our nightly sessions. Finally I had to ask him to
fuck me. After that we were lovers, almost every night.
We have been lovers ever since, even when I was dating,
and since I've been married. it continues to be the best
sex I've ever had, and it is entirely possible that some
of my kids may be his.
***
I hope this helps:
When I was about 13 and my cousin Hayley was 11, her
brother Glenn about 7 or 8, we would play games whereby
Hayley would end up naked and usually I (Occasionally
Glenn) would rub her pussy or lick it. I was the one who
started it, and no-one suffered from it.
At 15, I started undressing my 8-year-old sister.
Eventually, it got to the point where I would lick her
ass and pussy and she would suck my dick. The last time
was when my brother caught us. He said nothing to mom or
dad, but we stopped nonetheless. I think she's now
forgotten about it, but I still fantasize about her.
***
My sister and I when we were about 6 or 7'ish were still
having baths together, and we used to play things like
house, like any other children. This lead to "boyfriend
and girlfriend" my sister seemed to know more about sex
at the time then I did, and this soon lead to us trying
to have sex. We didn't know enough about it to get full
penetration. It still felt good.
Within a few years all sexual contact had stopped. I
tried to re initiate it, but it almost seems like my
sister has forgotten it all. It has left me with a
strange attraction for my sister even to this day, and
if presented with the chance to do something again. I
would.
I hope this helps your survey. and I would appreciate
getting back other letters you have received. as I am
interested also in the effect incest has on people at
later ages. and other such things.
[Ed. note: I don't redistribute mail. If it's
interesting, you'll see it here.]
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 10
This is the story of what happened. Feel free to edit as
needed. I take you at your word that identifying
material will be removed. I would also appreciate an
acknowledgement of receipt. If you need clarification or
have questions, I'll do my best to answer them.
My sister and I have always been close. As children we
frequently shared a bed and, when very young, bathed
together. It was very common for us to touch and fondle
each other, especially in the genital areas. This
continued as we grew older.
Nothing substantial happened till we moved to a farm in
the country. We had both just entered a new junior high
school where kids openly talked about sex. Like anyone
else, we were both curious. One night when we were
sleeping in the same bedroom, we started talking about
it.
We both wondered what went where.
The next step was to get into the same bed and
experiment. I penetrated her and started to thrust. It
hurt a little, so we just decided on thrusting enough to
cause a sensation.
On the nights everyone else was out of the house, we'd
undress and begin to fondle each other. This consisted
mostly of kissing and touching her breasts, vagina and
butt. We experimented with doing it standing up but
never could get it right. This continued through the
rest of the year. At that time I was 15 and she was 12.
When we moved to an apartment it died down. One night,
while watching TV, she asked me to massage her legs. I
slowly worked my way up and, before I was aware of it,
had her panties down.
We undressed and were on the sofa 2-3 hours before
moving to the bedroom. This set the stage for everything
that happened the next year or two.
The first time I realized that I was REALLY interested
in her sexually happened shortly after the TV episode.
One night she wore a pair of thick pajamas that we were
having trouble getting off. I rolled her over and pulled
off the bottoms. As soon as I saw her ass I knew I'd
never see anything that beautiful again. I started to
fondle and kiss it and pretty much lost control, we both
did.
Unfortunately, I didn't understand what it meant and
what I was feeling.
After this episode we talked about intercourse and
wanted to do it. We were also both scared stiff that she
might get pregnant. As a result, we stuck with the usual
routine.
As we got a little older this eventually died down again
and finally stopped altogether. I no longer had it on my
mind---or so I thought.
About 6-7 years ago we were at a party and she
indirectly asked if I was still interested (maybe using
"incest" as a verb isn't so indirect). I was caught off
guard and couldn't say anything. Later, she approached
me and asked again, in no uncertain terms.
I felt that she was under some stress (Long story) and I
also felt like I could be taking advantage of her by
agreeing. The moment passed and we haven't discussed it
directly since. However, those discussions made me aware
that I still wanted her and had deep feelings for her.
That will never change.
At this point, I don't know what will happen. It might
help to simply talk with no promise of resumption, which
would allow me to tell her my feelings. She shares them,
but I have no idea to what extent. If the relationship
is to resume, which is what I hope, she'll have to
decide.
As for me, I feel no guilt whatever, it serves no
purpose. What happened came about because of deep
feelings. We've always been close and open with each
other--perhaps as a result of all of this. That gives me
hope for better things.
***
At 18, I walked in on my mother showering. She was 43,
and although she looked it, I fancied her like mad. I
got an immediate erection and left the room. I thought
nothing more of it until two days later.
She walked into my room whilst I was watching TV. It was
late, about 1 am, and she was wearing her nightgown. I
didn't notice her enter, too engrossed in the TV show,
but I noticed her pull back my duvet.
I sleep naked, which she knew. She reached out and
started wanking me with one hand. I wasn't sure what to
say, and in the end it was she who spoke.
"I've always wanted to try this, but your father's
totally against it," she said and let go my by now fully
erect cock. She removed her nightgown and stood nude
before me, then she got onto the bed and motioned for me
to stand up.
She positioned herself facing away from me on all fours,
and I penetrated her. After a few strokes, she pulled me
out and pushed me against her ass. My mother has a
lovely fat ass and I slowly pushed myself in, knowing
she was an anal virgin.
Since then, I've been buggering my mother about once a
week, and that was 3 years ago.
***
When I was about 10 me and my cousins used to go up in
the tree house and play. When we had to pee, we just
peed over the side on the ground.
After awhile Billy wanted to hold my penis while I peed
and I did the same to him. This eventually turned into
more as Billy was wanting to put my penis in his mouth.
I never did object as this feeling real nice. Things
went on and we ended up sucking each other and fucking
each other in the ass till we were about 15 or 16.
Neither of us has had any other same sex experiences
since that time.
***
My sister and I undressed and touched in our teens. She
was 2 years younger and the aggressor. It started when
we were kind of wrestling. That was the closest I would
dare go sexually, but the body contact was fun. Once
when I had her down she said I will do ANYTHING if you
let me go.
I immediately thought about sex, but was afraid to take
any action or do anything. It happened a couple of more
times and when I finally said "what would you do" she
squeezed my cock and said I will suck this/ She was
probably 14 and I was 16.
Not too much happened because I was so chicken, but she
did put my cock in her mouth a few times. I'm sure she
wanted a lot more to happen but I was scared.
I have talked to 2 girls who had sex with their dads.
Both said it was good. In one case the sex was ongoing.
She was in her 30s. She also had a sex life other than
her dad. In the other case it started on her 14th
birthday and continued till the morning of her wedding
day at 19. She said the pleasure was mutual.
Later she said, "Now you know more about me than my
analyst." I often wondered if sex with her dad and her
need for analysis had a connection.
I never asked.
***
My sister was babysitting for my wife and I - When we
returned from the movie we went to see- I was driving
her home- the long way- I tried to get her to blow me-
She told me I had a big cock - but it was for my wife- I
didn't persist much- she licked it once - and let it go
at that-
I wish it would happen again in my older age (39) Am I
weird? or what.
***
yes. I fucked my mother and a female first cousin
several times. it was the most thrilling form of sex I
ever experienced due to the forbidden nature of it.
I also tried to get my younger sister to try incest with
me but she never did, although once she almost did after
a few beers. she let me fondle her tits and ass through
her clothes but when it came down to actually getting
naked and fucking she chickened out.
I use to sneak peeks at her as we grew up while she
changed clothes or showered by looking in the windows of
either here bedroom or the bathroom. I jerked off many
times while peeping on her or our mother.
my experiences with my mother and first cousin though
were both consensual and thrilling. I fucked my mother
at the age of 35, she 59 and my cousin when I was 23 and
she was 21. so there you have it.
***
My first time was with a cousin...I thought It was weird
but have since found out that incest is more common than
once thought... reading the first survey it seems that I
am not alone in what happened.
I always thought I was weird because it really didn't
bother me while at the same time all I ever heard was
how bad incest was and how screwed up it made the people
involved.
I think I am pretty normal however.
I know a few friends who were or have been involved with
family and they are pretty normal too. I just wonder how
much of it goes on we never know about, we just hear
about it when it is really negative.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 11
SPOILER: Two very bad experiences recounted in this
issue.
I first spied on my mom and dad by accident. I was about
ten I guess, just old enough to know "of fucking" but
not old enough to know much about it. Still, I was aware
that I was very horny, a kind of free floating sexual
arousal and with no way to deal with it.
I'd climbed a tree in front of our house with, as I
recall it, no intention of spying of my parents. A large
and comfortable limb placed me just outside a second
story window, my parents' bedroom, on a weekend
afternoon as they were "making love." Actually, what I
saw was them fucking.
I'm more surprised now, as most children are by their
parents, at their versatility. My mom sucked my dad's
cock, and he her pussy. He fucked her from the front and
from the back. Most erotic, he fucked her ass after
she'd presented herself on all fours, reaching around to
pull her ass cheeks apart in invitation.
Later, she lay back, legs spread, and as they were
talking, she idly masturbated, initially slowly and then
with increasing need and vigor.
That started it for me. I was driven by bottomless
erotic urges and my mom, bless her soul, was driven by
her own gad flies, for my father as a merchant seaman
and gone most of the time.
I became aware of my mother's increasing and at times,
blatant sexuality. I used every opportunity to watch
her, to spy on her. I watched her dress and undress,
sometimes with me there (pretending I wasn't paying
attention!), and I watched her pee, sometimes in the
toilet but more often in the kitchen sink, for it was
more convenient.
I contrived to hug her and feel her breasts. To lie on
the floor when she was reading, for her legs would often
drift apart and I'd have an excellent view between her
thighs. It seemed the only time she wore underpants was
when she was menstruating.
Had it not been for an untimely death at a young age, I
suspect we would have drifted into an incestuous affair,
for she was becoming increasingly provocative with me.
I've never forgotten those memories and often use them
to masturbate by. It remains hot.
***
You asked if anyone had seen pictures. When I was 17 I
found my parents' private photo box. It was all
Polaroid's mostly of my mom nude and posing on the bed.
My dad was in some too. I took some of them to a friend
for copying and let him keep a copy.
There were two funny things about this. I let him keep
copies and so I knew he was jerking off to pictures of
my mother. And he knew I was jerking off to pictures of
my mother. Sort of partners in crime.
Later on he paid me back with pictures of his wife, hot
ones with dildos and vegetables! I am married now but I
still keep those pictures of my mom (well hid of
course). Think I will go get them right now.
***
Yes I have and from what I've read it is apparently the
rarest of incest incidences. It was my mother... she
died of cancer on September 4/1996. This is probably a
sting of some sort. But if you are collecting
information for some higher purpose then I would be glad
to assist you... and no... I'm not some nut... I am 50
years old.
My life was destroyed by this, there isn't a single
person on the planet who cares a diddily fucking shit in
any way other than to profit from my telling of my
experience! You included or especially.
[This information is collected only for the purpose of
posting the next installment of these surveys on Usenet.
There is no purpose, law enforcement, academic, or
otherwise, other than my own interest sparked by my own
experiences. -- Ed.]
***
[SPOILER: sad ending]
Follow up from above poster.
I suppose you get a lot of bullshit stories on this
subject.
Here's a true one.
As I entered puberty my mother would take showers and
"discover" she didn't have a bath towel. So she'd yell
for me to bring her one. I'd go to her door, announce
myself, she'd open the door and stand back far enough
that I had to reach out to her with the towel. Every
time I did this she would drop whatever she had been
clutching to hide her nakedness and stand there totally
nude, both of us staring at the other.
It happened so often I called it "the game". As I grew
older I interpreted it (correctly) that she was
beckoning me to have sexual intercourse with her. In
those days (1950s) being called a "motherfucker" was the
worst insult imaginable.
What my mother did made me view myself as a potential or
wannabe motherfucker. I moved away from home when I
turned eighteen.
At twenty eight..my dad died and I returned home for
awhile to comfort Mom. Less than a week after returning
home I was laying in bed late one night half asleep. Mom
gently pushed my bedroom door open. I lay there in the
dimly lit room while she tip-toed around my bed and sat
on the bed.
There was some hesitation. I saw her make small furtive
movements and then felt her hand gently grasp my penis.
Within moments the pressure increased and she grasped my
penis firmly. She then masturbated me.
As soon as she left my room and closed the door I
reached around behind me and turned on the light
attached to the headboard. I had been fully awake (to
put it mildly) during the entire incident.
I remember telling myself to remember in vivid detail
what had just happened because I suspected that a part
of me would try to make it go away. I moved out of mom's
house the next morning and returned to nurse her when
she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993. Mom died
September 4, 1994.
I assume you're collecting these stories to excite
yourself. You probably read these and masturbate. I am
presently involved in starting a new company called,
well, never mind.
Anyhow, the products are incest-fantasy-oriented. There
is a tremendous market for this kind of thing but common
decency dictates that the difference be made clear
between fantasy and reality. One is harmless, the other
is devastating!
***
[SPOILER: This is the saddest story I've received. No
others follow, you may skip the rest of the post if you
like.]
This story is true, it's my own.
My name is Karin and I'm a 24 years old student of
business, daughter of a Japanese father and a German
mother. We live in Germany. I once had a sister, but not
anymore.
I'm writing this as a sort of self-therapy, because I am
really desperate. I never wrote anything like this
before, especially not in English. I have only told this
once to a very friendly person, I met in a German MUD.
He was quite understanding and tried to cheer me up, but
I never went into that mud again. I hate myself for
that, but I could not bear the strain of "meeting" him
again.
Please excuse any grammatical/spelling errors, and I
might have not always found the right words to describe
my situation. Even though my English is quite ok, I
haven't practiced it for a long time.
Since I don't know the exact dialogue anymore, and I
wouldn't want to make anything up, I only write in
passive voice.
***
I thought I could never tell anyone about it, but it has
been 9 years now. I was 15 back then, and my sister
Dorothea was 13. I never thought of me as pretty, but
rather as a lousy excuse for a woman. Rather skinny,
undeveloped and with a short haircut as I preferred, I
was quite often mistaken for a boy. As I hate to say
now, this often made me proud.
Doscha (as I called her) on the contrary was very
appealing to the eye. She had long, flowing black hair
and a perfect physique. She always was a cheerful,
charming girl, laughing the whole day. At least, I
remember her that way.
She was very popular among our family and friends alike
and I hated her for that. Even though my parents noticed
that she was getting so much more attention than me,
they could not close themselves off to her charms.
You see, my parents were extremely prude. I think I have
never seen my father naked and my mother only on two
occasions. They never told me about the birds and the
bees and stuff. A friend at school had to clear me up,
and that was only short before my 15th birthday!
I found out with 11 years [of age] how to masturbate
with water jets in public swimming-pools. I always
thought I invented something new, until I saw a boy of
my age do it too. Then I continued to experiment with my
hands..
I masturbated very often as this was one of the few
things, that made me happy. I found out that I delighted
most in thinking about how to socially disgrace my
sister. I imagined how satisfying it would be if my
parents walked in on her while SHE was masturbating... I
always came heavily when I thought of that.
Then something even more shameful came into my mind.
What if she was disgraced a lesbian?!? Or maybe even a
lesbian who did it with her own sister!!! I almost
flipped out over that thought and it became almost
obsessive. During the next days I developed thousands of
ideas how to make love to her, and just about as many
sore spots...
I had already noticed that she was masturbating too, as
she was not the type who did it quietly. When I think
back, I believe my parents knew too, but they pretended
not to notice anything that even remotely had something
to do with that.
When my parents were gone on holiday, bicycling with
their friends, as they still often do, I decided it was
the time.
I told her a made up a story about a boy, I just met,
and how wonderful he was, that we kissed passionately
and how I was dreaming about him... That did the trick.
Only 15 minutes later, I heard her in her room relieving
herself.
I noticed that she locked her door after she went in,
but there was another door between her room and mine
which couldn't be locked. Usually I have a chair
standing in front of that door, which opens into my
room, so she can't just walk in on me.
Quietly I removed the chair and opened the door just a
tiny little bit. She was kneeling on her bed, facing
sideways to me. The way she did herself was not unlike
my own method, I noticed. Then I loudly bumped the door
open and stepped into her room.
She reacted as I hoped she would, she gave off a shriek
turned white pale. She cringed onto her bed, shivering
and tears in her eyes. I told her that I caught her red-
handed and what would happen if I told our parents and
our friends.
Besides, she was obviously masturbating about my
(imagined) boy-friend and that he was mine and she stole
him from me and had to be punished. She was like butter
in my hands! I never felt so superior to another.
I slowly approached and caressed her hair while I
started to undress myself with my other hand.
***
I can't write what comes next, since I forgot all of the
details, but Doscha ended up having oral sex with me,
which disgusted her, but I just loved it. In fact, I
loved it so much, I completely forgot about taking
pictures with the Polaroid camera I borrowed from my
grandmother. But my fairest hint of giving away our
'secret' was enough for her to succumb to me.
We both changed a lot from this day on. She was
extremely introverted and sad and cried sometimes
without any apparent reason. she really suffered a lot.
My parents took her to a doctor when they came back, but
she didn't tell anyone.
I, on the contrary, was suddenly energetic, cheerful and
popular with almost anybody. I was even elected vice-
class-speaker a couple of weeks later.
The following 2 months I made her lick me seven days a
week and I did her too, sometimes, when I felt like it.
Then one day, when I came back from school, my father
was there, which is rather unusual, since he is normally
at work till late afternoon. He was totally pale and I
noticed, that he cried and he told me that something
happened to Doscha.
We drove off to a nearby hospital, and when we arrived
there my mother was totally lost in tears. She fell
around the neck of my father and cried continuously. A
nurse told me to be brave and that my sister had just
died of the injuries she received in a car accident in
front of her school.
Later I heard that it was almost as if she ran into the
car on purpose. The driver of the bus that ran over her
was a twenty-something year old guy. He came by our
house 2 or 3 times.
He was so desperate because of the accident and wanted
to help us, but my parents sent him away. They didn't
sue him or anything, but he was in a bad shape
nonetheless. I think the police took away his license,
or something like that.
To say that I felt as bad as I could would have been an
understatement. I dropped out of school half a year
later and pigged out almost 20 kg. I didn't leave home
as I was wracked with suffering.
Finally, I managed to get a hold of myself and returned
to evening-school and made it to the German
'fachhochschule' where I still am.
I still have the feeling that I was a true monster,
psychologically raping my own sister, day after day. I
have never been close to anyone else anymore, and
masturbating doesn't make me even remotely happy, so I
stopped doing it.
I hope it helps if I can write this anonymously. It
doesn't make me feel any better though, but I believe if
I can confess my sins enough, I might even open myself
up to a yet nonexistent friend of mine.
***
Well, I hope this has been of use to you. If you want to
flame me for what I did, just go ahead. I can take it, I
think.
Thank you for reading this.
Karin
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 12
The first time I noticed my mom was when I was 11. I
started to go in a sit on the toilet and talk to her
while she was in the bath tub. Nudity was never a big
thing around our house. I spent a lot of time in my
bedroom coming up with plans to seduce her. One night
when I was 12 and a half, we were watching a movie on
satellite and it was super hot out.
She was laying on her bed naked. I kept sneaking peeks
at every chance I could without getting caught. Then I
got busted. She asked me if I was looking at her tits. I
turned red faced instantly. She knew I was looking so I
couldn't lie. But I did.
We finished watching the movie and started to surf
through the channels. We happened by the xxx channel. I
said something like wow look at those tits on her. Mom
countered with mine are better than that. I said maybe
but I can't touch yours.
She laughed and said why can't you. I awkwardly said
because you're my mom. She then said true but if you
want to I'll let you if you keep it between us. I got
terrified, began shaking but went for it. All the while
we had the xxx channel on.
She asked me if I wanted to touch her pussy and I did
but said no. I got a supreme woody for myself from this.
The phone rang right in the middle of our encounter. It
was mom's boyfriend.
He was out of town on tour with a Canadian Icon rock and
roller. I left her room while they spoke. For the next 2
years nothing was mentioned of the escapade.
One night I was in my room watching a porno and mom came
home from the bar. She came in and caught me. She just
teased a bit about it and went up stairs. I followed
minutes after hoping to catch a glimpse of her changing.
She was laying on her bed in this sweater dress that
buttoned down the front. She started to dial the phone.
She then asked for Joe. I asked her why she was phoning
him.
She told me that she wanted him to come over for the
night. I got jealous and hung up the phone. I told her
that she didn't need to do that she had a boyfriend (who
lived with us). She then told me he was boring and she
wanted something better.
I retorted with if you just want to get laid I can do
that. She looked at me and said DAVID you don't do that
with your mother. I said why not I touched your tits.
Then she said you really want to. Of course I do.
So I began un-buttoning her dress. She wasn't wearing
anything underneath it. I opened it up and stated to rub
her pussy. She opened her legs up wide and I stated to
slide my fingers in her.
Within seconds she was soaked. I was having my fantasy
of 5 years coming true. I headed in to lick her pussy.
The smell was incredible then as my tongue touched her
she started to moan softly. I wasn't very experienced in
sex but I went for it and pushed my tongue as far as I
could inside her vagina.
After what seemed to be an eternity I went for the home
run. She stopped me and told me to lay on my back. When
I did she started to suck my cock. I was in ecstasy. her
mouth engulfed all I had to offer. The excitement was
too much to bear and I released in her mouth. She never
lost a drop. All of my sperm went straight to belly.
She then Climbed on top of me. I laid there as she
straddled my body and put my penis in place. She looked
at me and said I have been waiting for a long time to
fuck you. I said no way and right then I entered her
slick pussy. She rode me slowly at first but within
minutes she was at full gallop. It took about twenty
minutes for me to cum again. After that mom laid down
and told me that whenever I wanted to do it again she
would.
6 months after our encounter she and I moved to Burnaby.
She had finally had enough of her boyfriend who was very
mean to her. We ended up becoming bed partners on a
regular basis. Mom began inviting me to have sex with
her and her cousin Bonnie after awhile.
I used to get to play doctor with Bonnie when I was in
grade three and she was like 26. I have actually gotten
to have intimate relations with many female members of
my family. I have never stopped liking older women since
that night when I was 14.
***
This is my true story and it has devastated me for most
of my life.
I'm not really sure why I'm telling you about this since
I've never told anyone before. Maybe because I don't
know you and you can't judge me.
It started when I was 4 years old. I would go into my
parents room to watch television and my dad would put
his hands down my panties and start to masturbate me
under the covers, while my mom was in the kitchen
cooking breakfast.
The thing that makes me feel the worst about it is he
never paid any attention to me or my sister at any other
time, unless it was to abuse us physically and
emotionally.
So I would go back there day after day and let him do
that to me just to feel loved. This continued on a daily
basis until I turned 9 and he took a work assignment out
of the country.
I tried telling my mom what he was doing to me but she
wouldn't believe me (but I know she knew because she had
came in on us a couple of times saw his hands under the
sheet, left and said nothing)
This sounds sick, but I was so used to being masturbated
that I would do it to myself daily, then I decided to
have my little sister help me so I would make her lie
down and lay on top of her rubbing myself to get off.
I guess in reality this makes me a monster as well, but
I try to tell myself that at 9 years old I really didn't
know any better even though I'm racked with guilt about
this.
I am 35 years old now, and when my children were small
it was very difficult for me to change their diapers,
give them a bath etc. because I was afraid I would touch
them and maybe get an incestuous urge. But I am happy to
report that never happened.
I find myself coming to the newsgroups and reading the
stories about incest, but I'm really not sure why. I
don't get any sexual arousal from it. Maybe because the
fantasy stories are so different from real life.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 13
The story you posted about your encounter with your
mother [ed.: hey, it wasn't me, I just repost what
people send me] struck a chord with me. Your mother had
a boyfriend musician and was calling him on the phone
when you walked in.
Well my mom, was a promoter in the music business. She
had a lot of musician boyfriends and of course they were
always out of town (and cheating on her but that's a
different story. They would call her when they were
lonely or horny.
One night, this all started, I was too hot in the summer
air and went to sleep on the living room sofa where the
air conditioning was. The phone rang late as it often
did and I sleepily picked it up but overheard Mel my
mother's current (then) boyfriend. He was a country
musician like most of them.
What got me was that he immediately started talking sexy
and instead of hanging up, I just stood there, in my
shorts, listening. My mother wasn't objecting, she
missed him and they were talking very sexy about
touching and feeling each other.
I realized they were both playing with themselves as
they spoke. At this point, I got hard and reached down
and was also playing with myself. Mel really had my
mother going and talked about licking her cunt and
things like that which really got me jerking.
Suddenly Mel groaned loudly and huffed and puffed and
groaned again. My mother also came but she was being
more quiet because, I guess she didn't want me to
overhear. Fat chance, ma! I was squirting cum all over
your sofa comforter!
Soon Mel hung up, falling asleep drunk, and so did both
of us at home. The next day I could hardly look at my
mother and when she asked me what was wrong and did the
phone call wake me up, I just said, yeah, that must have
been it.
The rest of that summer and for the rest of the summers
I lived at home I would stay awake listening for the
phone to ring and one my mothers' boyfriends to call. I
would always pick up right after the second ring which
usually worked.
The dumb thing was I listened to a lot of private
conversations about things I didn't care about, though
sometimes they were about me, and that was really
boring! Sometimes there were arguments and I would hang
up. But sometimes they would have sex on the phone just
as hot as that "first time" and so would I.
I wonder if she ever knew, or even suspected, but she
never let on if she did. To this day I still pick up the
phone and have to think before I say anything. To this
day I like to have a fantasy about phone sex or sex with
my mother. I sure found out what she liked.
***
10 years ago my sister and I were 12 and 11
respectively. One day we found a XXXX magazine in the
garbage and took it up into our tree house to look at.
We both at the time knew nothing about sex and we were
amazed at what we saw. We knew nothing about incest or
who should have sex with who.
I remember getting a massive hard-on and my sis could
see it pointing thru my shorts.
We were both turned on, so we thought older people did
this so we decided to get a head start. We first took
our clothes off and my sis began by giving me my first
blow job. I got so hot, I came in about 30 seconds.
We did not know what that all meant, but my penis still
stayed hard so we continued. I then went down on my
sis's fresh pink lips which was almost hair free. When
we had enough of that, we then went on to intercourse.
At first, I had trouble trying to hit the entry point,
but once I found where I should enter, I slowly worked
my way pencil thin prick in because she was as tight as
you could be for 12. While I was getting in, I came
again because of the feeling I was having. My dick was
burning but I wanted to go on and this time I was able
to last a few minutes longer.
We continued on with our sex for a few months every day
after school until my sister took sex education in
school and found out what we were doing was taboo. We
stopped right away and I soon took up masturbating.
After a few years my sis developed a perfect body and I
was dying to see it and I asked her if she was getting
tempted to do it again and she agreed. Her breasts were
firm and round and her pussy was prettier than before. I
myself had grown a few inches longer and wider and she
enjoyed that too.
We had sex only a few times after that time, but she
would have given me the occasional blow job if she knew
I was masturbating or if I asked her politely because I
never found anybody who did it better that her.
It's been a few years since she last gave me head and we
both know it will never happen again and just look at it
as two kids who knew nothing at the time and were just
having a little fun.
***
Hi, I thought I'd tell you my own incest story.
Background: I am a white male aged 25. Middle class.
I'll keep it brief: from about age 10 to about age 16, I
had sex with my brother, who is four years younger than
me.
The sex was almost always oral sex and rarely ended in
orgasm, although I do have fond memories of ejaculating
in his mouth and on his face, as well as swallowing his
sperm. Mostly, we did 69. It started when he caught me
fooling around with neighborhood boys and wanted to try
it.
There was a period of about two years where we did
nothing at all; then we started up again when we both
started sneaking downstairs late at night to watch our
father's (heterosexual) porn videos. We would get very
horny and masturbate openly, then have oral sex.
My favorite memory is when we had a hot three way with a
mutual friend who was a year younger than me. He was
spending the night at our house; the three of us played
strip poker and then shared oral sex and orgasms for
hours. It only happened once but I will never forget it.
I do not think it affected me adversely; I fantasize
about it now and would love for something similar to
happen even though I consider myself mostly heterosexual
and have a great sex life with my wife-to-be.
My brother and I are good friends nowadays and enjoy
spending time together, though we make no mention of our
sexual past and I dare not bring it up. This past incest
experience leads me to wonder if I will be sexually
attracted to my own children; that is the only part that
concerns me now.
***
I have been involved in an incestuous relationship with
my mother since I was 13. She initiated it the first
time, but I wanted it to happen. It has been a great
experience in my live. I feel I am a more open and
understanding person because of this. If you'd like to
hear all the details, let me know.
[2nd mail]
Anything I feel comfortable telling you!?! I'll tell you
the whole story!
When I was 13, I lived with my mother and my younger
brother. After school he would go to the babysitter
because mom worked and I would stay home. I had seen my
mom at night using something between her legs.
Eventually I found out it was a vibrator and I would use
it when I was alone.
One time I was in the living room naked using the
vibrator and my mom came home early. She just stood
there sharing at me and I got embarrassed and ran into
my room. I stayed there all day not wanting to come out.
That night, mom came into my room and sat on the bed
next to me. She told me it was ok, that everyone
masturbates and that she did it quite often. After
hearing that I didn't feel so bad.
I started asking her questions about how she used it and
if it felt like a real guy. She tried to explain how she
used it, and asked if I wanted her to show me how she
used it. I was curious so I said yes.
She undressed and showed me how she used it and
described what she was doing. Then she told me to try,
so I got undressed and tried. She watched, then took it
and told me to do it like this and started to use it on
me.
It felt so good that I just laid back and let her use it
on me. Over time I got to use it on her, and eventually
she showed me how to perform oral sex on her.
Ever since that time, we've been sleeping with each
other (About 10 years now). And I wouldn't change what
happened for the world.
***
Love the stories! I've actually masturbated to some!
Hope this helps...
I don't remember how this all started but my brother and
I have been experimenting with sex for a long time. I'm
now 27 and he's 22. I think we were watching sex on a
cable channel that would have mild porno movies.
One thing led to another and I was happily sucking on
his 8 year old dick. He tried to lick my pussy after
much encouragement from me, but he was turned off by the
taste.
A few years later when he was 12 and I 17 or so we were
bathing at the beach and playing with ourselves
underwater. We got so hot we decided to go upstairs into
the house and I sucked his dick again. He, for some
reason, would stop just short of cumming.
A year later, I was visiting him where he stayed with
our Grandma and we had to share a sofa bed. I was half-
asleep when I suddenly felt his hand on my breast
through the sheer cotton nightie I wore.
Feigning sleep, he got bolder and started to move his
hand ever-so-slowly down my body. I was so wet! He
finally got to my pussy and was playing with it...
touching it lightly through my panties.
I couldn't keep pretending not to hear his fast breath
and could hardly keep still. I opened my eyes and asked
him what he was doing. He immediately withdrew his hand.
I told him not to stop and I started to rub him off. I
started to suck on his dick and we decided to fuck.
We did and enjoyed it immensely.
We've fucked each other on and off since then whenever
we had the chance (not often enough!). We stopped almost
3 years ago because we live so far away from each other.
I ask him repeatedly if he ever regrets anything and he
says no. The last time we had sex I told him we had to
stop. (I was racked with guilt). I still fantasize about
him and hope that we can fuck again. I've had the best
orgasms with him!
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 14
Of all the taboos in human society, incest may be the
greatest.
No wonder, then, that it is also one of the best kept
secrets....
We now know that incest is much more common than
previously imagined. Many people first begin to
fantasize sexually about family members. Cousins and
siblings may help us explore another person's body for
the first time.
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact
with a family member, and what impact that had on your
lives. Perhaps it was successful; perhaps it was a bad
memory best forgotten. The story doesn't have to be very
long, or detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:
...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)
...at what age
...who initiated the activity, and
...how you feel about it now
I assure you, the confidentiality of any information
provided will not be compromised. If you have a story
you would like to share, please send mail to
RankAmateur@WriteMe.com.
Here are a few of the stories I have received so far.
Thank you.
[A bumper crop after 3 weeks of famine. Thanks,
everyone! More stories in a few days. For now, one
looooong one .... names changed to protect the not-so-
innocent, as you shall read.]
[Ed. personal note to Jeannie: please write.]
***
ME AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER
(mf, teen, incest, true)
By Jeannie
I'm glad I found this group on incest. I want to talk
something out. I hope I got all that "mf, teen" etc.
business right.
I also hope I don't screw up my anonymity. A friend at
college set me up with the Private Idaho remailing
program (I told him I wanted to send jokey messages to
friends and play around in some newsgroups without
collecting weird email). Private Idaho posted okay to
alt.anonymous but not to alt.sex.incest. Too
disreputable maybe.
So I borrowed a temporary AOL ID and am emailing my
journal to [Ed. note: updated to reflect my new lifetime
e-mail address] "RankAmateur@WriteMe.com" instead.
"RankAmateur@WriteMe.com" posts true incest stories
collected from others so I suppose I can trust him or
her to protect my anonymity. I do want to post this. It
represents quite a bit of effort (mostly enjoyable) to
remember the details of some experiences I had with my
brother a couple of years ago.
I will read anyone's comments but I won't be able to
respond since I can't post to this group anonymously.
Unless someone posts some instructions on how to do the
truly anonymous posts that I see so many of here. Pls
don't flame me; I'm not brain dead; and I'm willing to
learn. I would like to be able to participate more
directly if my journal sparks any comment.
[Anonymous posting used to be easy, with the
anon.penet.fi service in Finland. Unfortunately, the
Scientologists wanted to know one of the posters there,
and brought suit in a Finnish court that ruled against
the owner of that service. He shut down rather than put
more users at risk of exposure. The next time you wonder
where your privacy went, remember this: thank the
Scientologists. Personally, I think they're assholes. --
Rank]
So here are my memories of my encounters with Ricky, in
the form of a note I tried unsuccessfully to post using
Private Idaho. I will trust "RankAmateur@WriteMe.com" to
post my message unchanged and to honor my request for
anonymity.
***
Most of the alt.sex.incest messages just seem to me like
Huge Cock Meets Hungry Slut drools, and I've avoided the
graphic files mostly. But to each his own. I'm in no
position to judge others for what makes them excited, so
long as they don't hurt others. Some messages here do
seem real, for which I'm grateful, because I've needed
for a couple of years to process some sexual encounters
I had with my younger brother.
I hope writing here will help me get a handle on these
events. A friend who participates in several support
groups (okay, I know that's not exactly what this place
is) said I should tell some general stuff about myself
so you have some idea of who you're sort-of-interacting
with.
So here goes. My real first name is Jeanne (Je-Anne) but
I go by Jeannie. I'm 19 and going to college "somewhere
in the Midwest," as they say. (I don't want to get too
specific.) My teachers tell me I have a good mind.
Physically, I'm 5'6" in my shoes and a bit thin, with
light brown hair that I hate to cut. I have greenish
eyes and fairly regular features.
I've been told by friends and by guys my own age that
I'm good-looking, although my mirror tells me I'm not
beautiful or stunning or anything like that. A boyfriend
once said I look like a pixie, which he seemed to think
was okay. I play tennis and swim a lot, so I'm fairly
strong and don't have much body fat.
My personal behavior for the most part falls within the
norm. I'm not a virgin but I've never been very active
sexually, since AIDS scares me to death and I want to
lead a good, reasonably long life. I do masturbate
fairly often, at least several times a week. When I do,
I'm usually thinking about my brother Ricky. That's what
I need to write about.
Ricky (who lately prefers to be called Rich) is still at
home finishing high school, a few hundred miles away.
He's 17 now and a classic "nice kid," the sort that
other boys' moms wish they had: stays out of trouble,
plays sports, studies hard. He'll probably make it to 21
without having to lie or answer "Yes" to any of those
"have you ever...?" questions on application forms.
He runs long-distance events in track and competes in
school swimming and diving meets, so you can probably
visualize the kind of long lean body he has. He would
have no problem getting dates, but he's on the shy side.
I hope someday he gets over that.
I also have a little sister Jody, 12, who wants to grow
up like me for some reason. That's it for the family.
Mom has dates sometimes, mostly with men from where she
works, but there's nobody of the male persuasion steady
in her life, at least not that I know of. Dad left our
household years ago; he lives in California.
I spent my last summer vacation and last year's school
vacations with him and he wasn't drinking for the first
time I can remember. He did go to a lot of AA meetings,
which made me happy. He said he got a lot of stuff
worked out in his life by writing about it after he got
sober, which is one reason I'm writing this. I think I
need to look at these memories.
The events I'm writing about happened a couple of years
ago in late Spring. Ricky had just turned 15 and I had
been 17 for a couple of months. Since I skipped a grade
in grammar school, I was about to graduate early from
high school, and was feeling very grown-up and mature,
thank you very much.
A couple weeks before, Ricky had gotten into a losing
argument with a car while riding his bicycle. It wasn't
the driver's fault, since Ricky had just barreled out
into the street in front of him at full tilt. The bike
was killed dead, a total wreck. Ricky, luckily for him,
only had his arms broken in a couple of places, plus a
couple of ribs cracked and a collar bone broken. Plus
some internal injuries that healed fairly quickly, and
assorted deep bruises. He got out of it alive and
without serious head or spinal injuries, was the main
thing. But he was hurting.
When Ricky got home from the hospital he was all wrapped
up in bandages across his chest and had immobilizing
casts on both arms. They installed his poor injured
carcass in a rented hospital bed in his room, all hooked
up to ropes and pulleys that held his arms slightly
elevated to accelerate healing, I guess.
The poor kid was completely helpless and had to be taken
care of by a nurse who came during the day, courtesy of
the state government. She was a big, 50-ish, no-nonsense
woman who looked like a prison guard. At night she went
home to whoever loved her and Mom tended to Ricky's
needs.
I guess that's a situation anyone can get used to in
time, but I felt really sorry for Ricky, having to be
fed and bathed and use a bedpan and everything. I just
couldn't imagine having to use a bedpan. In a hospital
room, with nurses to handle the details, maybe; but
right there at home? With my own MOM wiping my butt and
pulling my pants back up and emptying the bedpan and
everything? It boggled my mind to think about it.
Still does. (Well, after the first week or so Ricky was
strong enough to get out of bed and walk to the toilet
if someone unhooked the ropes for him, but he still
needed help because he couldn't bend his arms. And he
couldn't stay on his feet for long. Poor kid.)
Mom is tough, and smart too, and knew how to help Ricky
feel better about it; or at least, he never complained.
The nurse took care of the worst of the intimate details
most of the time, so I guess it was workable. Mom pretty
much kept me and Jody out of Ricky's room at first
because he felt miserable and also, I suppose, he didn't
feel like answering any embarrassing questions.
By the second week we all sort of took everything for
granted, and visited Ricky when he wasn't otherwise
occupied and stayed out of the way when he needed
privacy with Mom or the nurse.
In the second week after the accident, on a Friday night
after Ricky's nurse had left, Mom got a panic night call
from her job and had to go in to help fix problems with
some sort of engineering proposal they were all excited
about. She put me in charge of Ricky and Jody for the
evening. We expected it wouldn't be a problem, since
they were both asleep.
I was watching TV when I heard Ricky holler out for Mom,
so I ran up to his room to see what he needed. He asked
where Mom was and I told him, and he asked if I would
mind getting him some toast with honey since he was
hungry. I said sure, and went to get it.
When I got back he explained I needed to put a towel on
his chest in case of spills because crumbs and such
could get uncomfortable. So I pulled the blanket down to
his waist and put a hand towel over his chest, put
another pillow under his head to bring his head closer
to upright, sat down on the bed by him and held the
toast up to his mouth so he could take a bite. He was
smiling at me as I did all this, which made me feel good
since I always really liked Ricky. He was a super kid
and a good younger brother.
We had a minor mishap when some honey dripped off the
toast and started rolling down his cheek. I jerked the
toast away so I could dab at his cheek with the towel,
but that just made things worse -- the toast got away
and landed the way Murphy's Law says it must, with the
honey side down, half on Ricky's stomach and half on the
blanket. Ricky started giggling out loud, so, since he
wasn't wearing a shirt (the casts on his arms made him
too hot if he wore one) I started tickling his sides,
not too hard. Pretty soon honey had gotten pretty much
all over.
Once we'd both calmed down a bit, I got a warm, wet
washcloth and started washing him -- laving, as the old
word goes -- from his chest bandage down to the top of
his p.j. bottoms, wiping his stomach gently so as not to
start him laughing again. Ricky had his eyes closed and
was smiling, and I never felt so close to him as I did
then.
I just loved him to pieces. There wasn't any sexual
component; it's just that seeing him smile like that,
with his eyes closed, as I washed his body, made my
heart full. Like I said, I have always liked Ricky.
When I pulled down the blanket in order to put a new
(unhoneyed) one onto the bed, the sheet pulled down with
it, so he was uncovered except by his pajama bottoms.
When I glanced back up at him from where I was removing
the sheet and blanket, something struck me as odd, and
then I realized Ricky had an erection.
It was raising the front of his p.j.'s so that its
outline showed rather clearly from his crotch down along
his left leg. I guess my mouth dropped open in surprise;
I know my eyes widened and I just stared stupidly at the
outline of his erect penis under the thin cloth of his
pajamas. It's odd, but I remember an image flashed
through my mind of his cute little thingie the last time
I had seen it, when he was about 4 or 5 years old, and I
thought how much bigger it was now. (Duh.)
I don't know how long I stared. Eventually he more or
less cried out "Jeannie!" and raised up the knee nearest
me. I tore my eyes away and looked up at his face. Poor
Ricky -- he was mortified! His cheeks were bright red,
and I think he might have given just about anything to
be able to cover himself up at that point. But with his
arms immobilized, of course all he could do was raise
his knee and sort of point it away from me in order to
hide himself. My heart went out to him. I had never
meant to embarrass him.
"Ricky, it's okay," I told him. "I've seen pictures in
sex-ed and you don't have anything to be ashamed of. I
love you." Somewhere in there I started smiling at him.
"You're beautiful. It's okay, you have a beautiful male
body, and really it's okay."
"I can't help it," he told me. "It felt so good when you
were washing me, and I've been like stuck here. Forever.
I'm really sorry, Jeannie. I'm so sorry." I think he was
about to cry.
Remember I'm not a very sexually active person, and at
that time I was technically still a virgin. So this was
unknown territory for me. Not that I was completely
ignorant. I'd taken sex-ed (not much real knowledge
there -- I guess we got the Baptist version).
Also, the year before, at 16, I had gotten too hot and
heavy for comfort with my boyfriend Tom in the back of
his father's car a couple of times, me with my shirt
unbuttoned and Tom groping me while I groped him back.
One night I let him finger me between my legs until I
had an orgasm.
Then he told me he needed release also, or it would be
physically painful for him, which was a new idea to me.
But fair is fair, so I let him show me the right way to
stroke his erection and I brought him to climax that
way; he spurted semen all over himself and his shirt and
the car seat. It was astonishing and a bit scary, how
much fluid came jetting out of him. I could see how it
might be painful for a boy to have to hold all that in.
When the spurting slowed down I let go of Tom's penis,
but even so his semen got all over my hand and I had to
wipe it off -- I used his jeans for that, hee hee.
(Thank god for the sex-ed class, though -- I knew in
general terms what was going on with him physically, so
I didn't freak out. But I bet his poor old dad freaked
the next day if he noticed the backseat in his car.)
Anyhow, after the second date in which we "got each
other off" manually, I told Tom it made me nervous
because I didn't want to go all the way with anyone yet,
and I was afraid we would lose control. Tom respected my
wishes, bless him.
We still hugged and kissed, but we toned it down enough
that such "heavy petting" (as they said in sex-ed)
wasn't needed by him, or by me, anymore. We were still
friends the last time I saw him, quite awhile ago --
platonic but intimate at the same time if you know what
I mea n by that.
The point is that I did know what the male of the
species sometimes needs for physical release and I had
learned (twice, with a good friend) how to provide it.
Ricky looked so miserable, and I was feeling such love
for him, and I so wanted for him to understand that his
feelings and his body really were okay, and I didn't
think any the less of him.
All these feelings just sort of came together in my mind
all at once very strongly, and while I held his gaze I
sat down next to him, reached over his bent leg and
cupped my hand over his erection. It had shrunk a bit in
his embarrassment, I guess, but as I held it I felt it
grow full again, and Ricky straightened out his knee.
His cock sort of twitched irregularly, moving under my
hand as I gently squeezed.
Ricky was looking seriously shocked, so I smiled and
went, "Shhhh!"
God. After two years of keeping all this to myself it
feels very strange to be writing it out in detail like
this so others can read about it. Even more weird, it's
making me feel itchy. Horny. This can't be normal, but
I'm going to have to pull down my pants and relieve
myself before I soak my clothes. Amazing.
Anyhow, to get on with it.
"Ricky," I told him as softly as I could so Jody
wouldn't wake up, "this is a normal thing for a boy to
feel. I know you need relief sometimes, and you can't do
it for yourself right now. It must be very
uncomfortable. But I know how to help you feel better.
May I? Would you mind?"
While I babbled all that sex-ed-lecture type stuff he
was watching me. His face looked very intense.
"Are you sure you want to?" he asked, and I smiled and
nodded. "Oh, Jeannie, it's so great, I'm so frustrated,
if you'd do that for me... are you sure?" He was
babbling too.
I looked down at where I was gently kneading his rigid
cock through his p.j.'s, and I think I caught my breath.
There was a small, wet spot in the cloth, where the end
of his cock was located. I looked up at him briefly --
he was watching me from between his suspended arms --
then hooked my hands over his p.j. bottoms at each side
of his hips and pulled down on them. Ricky raised up
slightly to help and I pulled his pajama bottoms down
below his knees, leaning back to do so.
Then I sat back up and reached over to touch him. His
cock was standing up in the air, moving back and forth
with his heartbeat, and I couldn't take my eyes away
from it. He was absolutely gorgeous. And compelling. I
was mesmerized.
The thing is, this wasn't a heavy grope session in the
dark, in some boy's father's car at the end of a date.
This was on top of a bed, with the light on, and no one
else in the house but my sleeping little sister. Ricky's
cock just looked incredibly beautiful to me -- longer
than the width of my hand by a couple or three inches (I
guess that made it about 6 inches long) and perfectly
proportioned; maybe on the slim side compared to Tom,
but that's how Ricky's whole body was built, so it
seemed just right.
It had veins sticking out on its surface and a reddish
head on the end with just a hint of moisture around the
small opening slit. It stood up there, waving around,
and took my breath away.
I don't know if guys have any idea what power they have
over females with that member of theirs, or maybe it's
just me, but the effect of seeing Ricky's fully engorged
penis -- his phallus -- was electric. It was as if all
my circuits were suddenly running on double voltage. My
breathing was out of control, my crotch was begging me
to masturbate, and I was utterly enthralled.
I guess you can tell, the sight burned itself into my
memory.
When I reached over to grasp Ricky's cock, my hand fit
comfortably around it, overlapping a little. As I
squeezed, it jerked against my hand, and when I stroked
my hand upward toward the head the way Tom had taught
me, moisture appeared at the end and spread downward to
my fingers. I reached my left hand over to rub my finger
around in it; it felt warm and slick.
When I circled my fingertip around to the underside of
his cock, where the head flared out slightly to the side
and then swept up toward the slit at the end, Ricky
groaned and hunched his hips up toward my hand. I could
tell it felt very good to him; lord knows it was making
my own world intense.
My hormones must have been in flood stage by then. I
could see and pay attention to everything I did to
Ricky, I could see the physical details of how he was
built, how his testicles hung down against his crotch
and where his butt started down below that, and I could
see a sort of hint of his anus hidden away down there.
Most of all, I could clearly see what happened when I
did certain things to him, and all this made me a bit
crazy.
One time I glanced up to his face and saw Ricky gazing
back down with his eyes half shut, watching the action,
but I didn't look up long enough even to smile or
anything. I just looked right back down at his
wonderful, full cock and at what I was doing to it and
how Ricky was responding.
"Jeannie, I'm getting close," he said (his voice was
even a bit hoarse!) so I stroked my right hand up and
down faster. Then, pausing but not letting go of him, I
moved over on the bed so my left knee rested outside of
his right leg and my right knee was between his legs. It
gave me a more direct view of his cock and his testicle
sack. Tim Allen says a guy's ball sack -- okay, his
scrotum, but that's such an ugly word -- looks like
leftover elbow skin, and it does, kind of, but it's
awfully sexy just the same.
Anyway, I reached over with my left hand to lift his
balls while I stroked his erection with my right, and
the tips of my left hand fingers, pressing lightly
against the skin behind where his ball sack joined his
body, could feel his muscles contract every now and
then. From this and from his hip action I figured he was
about to let loose with his semen, like Tom had done.
When I scratched lightly at the skin behind his balls he
moaned softly, so I stroked up and down faster with my
right hand and kept scratching lightly, up and down
behind his ball sack, with my other hand. This provoked
a more intense moan, and he started hunching his hips up
and down. It was fascinating and wonderful to watch.
I guess it was too intense to last -- Ricky started to
spurt, and I could feel each jet of semen moving against
my fingers inside his cock (!), just before it pulsed
out of the little slit on the end. My left hand fingers,
resting against Ricky's crotch behind his balls, could
feel the muscles there contract with each spurt.
I hadn't noticed any of that with Tom, but then
everything about this was different from anything
before. By now I was moving my own hips back and forth,
rubbing myself against Ricky's leg; it was so compulsive
that it still makes me blush to recall. But I needed the
release and had a little orgasm myself as Ricky shot out
his semen.
He must have spurted strongly 4 or 5 times, not counting
the little in-between "spurtlets." I can still see it
clearly in my mind. His first really strong pulse was
incredible -- it went clear up to his face, landed on
his right cheek next to his nose, and left a glistening
string of semen down over his lips and chin onto his
chest bandages and the towel. As I continued stroking he
kept spurting with decreasing energy until finally his
penis started getting softer and smaller in my hand.
Unlike with Tom I didn't want to let go right away, but
Ricky sort of pulled away, murmuring: "Too hard,
Jeannie, take it easier," so I tried to make my hand
motions less urgent. Guided by Ricky's hip movements and
soft vocal sounds, I moved my hand against him gently
until finally he lowered his hips all the way back down
and I knew he was finished.
This is how I learned it hurts a boy to stroke his penis
too hard when he is almost done ejaculating, but feels
good to him if you rub gently at the underside, jus t
below the head. I guess the nerves there are
concentrated but not oversensitive. Male physiology is
very strange sometimes. Interesting, but strange.
"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,
Ricky," I told him, and meant it. "I love you." Then on
impulse (and I guess a bit lewdly) I leaned up to kiss
him on the mouth briefly, with my mouth slightly open so
I could wipe my tongue over his mouth where his semen
had landed. I just wanted to taste it for some reason.
It tasted interesting and okay, a bit like raw shellfish
but more subtle, I thought. I liked it. Or maybe what I
liked was knowing where it came from and that I had
caused it. Ricky-juice, courtesy of Jeannie. Anyhow,
after I kissed him I used the towel to wipe up the rest
of his semen. It had shot all over the place and had
collected in little puddles here and there, mostly on
his belly.
"Ricky, are you okay that I did that for you?" I asked
him. I was a little worried and guilty, I mean incest is
a strong taboo, but his eyes were wide open and steady,
and he just gazed at me and nodded his head. I have
always loved his steady gaze. "I'll come back and do it
again if you want me to, until you get well," I told
him.
"Jeannie, I love you. I really do," he said. I smiled at
him and got up to warm the washcloth that had started
all this, and washed him off again before pulling his
p.j.'s back up. I put the new sheet and blanket over
him, kissed him on the mouth again quickly, and left.
Did I mention this episode wasn't entirely noble of me?
I ran back to my room, dropped my pants, lay down and
rubbed myself to another orgasm, a big one that felt
like it lasted about 10 minutes. God it was intense. The
sight of that beautiful cock spurting semen all the way
up to Ricky's face just wouldn't leave my mind, and I
had to release my own energies several times more before
I could even get to sleep that night.
The next morning was the same -- I masturbated to images
of Ricky's erupting cock and memories of how his semen
tasted as soon as I woke up, and since it was a
Saturday, I repeated the process two or three times
during the day, just about every time I went to the
bathroom, in fact. I just couldn't seem to get over it.
That night, Mom went to bed early and Jody stayed over
at a friend's house, so about a half hour after the
house went dark I snuck into Ricky's room again.
"Ricky," I whispered.
"Yeah, hi Jeannie," he whispered back.
"Would you like me to do it for you again? Would you
mind? I really want to," I whispered, and sat down on
the bed by him. I guess I was past trying to be subtle
or act noble about it -- I just wanted a repeat of the
night before!
"Jeannie, I was scared you wouldn't want to anymore. I
was afraid you would hate yourself. Or hate me. Or wish
it had never happened." He sounded very tense, so I
smiled and rested my hand on his stomach, on top of the
blanket. "I would do anything not to hurt you," he told
me, "but you can't know how much it meant to me. It felt
so good and I'm so alone in here. I love you so much."
He was starting to babble again, but I didn't mind. I
just moved my hand around in circles on his stomach and
watched his face. He may be my brother, but at that
moment, in the shadowy light from the street outside, he
looked more beautiful to me than any human has a right
to be, with eagerness and fear and a shy smile chasing
each other across his face. I simply loved him. Totally.
"If you don't really want to that's alright. But if
you're okay with it, if you're sure -- I would love it,"
he whispered. "I love you, Jeannie" he added, and I'm
sure he meant it, because I loved him at that moment
too, and I told him so. There was something wonderful
about the trust and intimacy of it.
I got up and locked his door (we all got door locks as
kids as soon as we could be trusted not to lock
ourselves in by accident -- it was Mom's statement of
respect for our privacy). Then I switched on his reading
lamp so I could see him better. He was watching me, his
eyes glistening. I could hear him breathing faster, and
I guess I was puffing a bit, too.
Gazing at his face, I squatted down by the bed and
reached my arm down under the blanket to his p.j.
bottoms, then under the elastic and down to his penis.
It was already hard, so I reached under it and sort of
flipped it over, so it lay up along his stomach, and
stroked it gently up and down, putting light pressure on
the underside of it.
When he sighed, I leaned up under his elevated arm and
kissed him on his mouth. His lips were open so I opened
mine too, and his tongue strayed hesitantly into my
mouth. I played my own tongue against his, and it turned
into a deep, lingering kiss as I rubbed his cock under
the covers. It was very intense.
When we broke the kiss, I whispered, "I want to see
you," and moved to pull down the blanket and sheet. I
then pulled his pajamas down; as before, he raised his
hips to help. Once again I was treated to the sight of
his erect cock standing up, pulsing in time to his
heartbeat. And again it was a powerful and beautiful
sight.
I moved onto the bed and knelt below his crotch, this
time with both knees between his legs. This forced his
legs farther apart than they had been the previous night
and I had a better view of his physiology as I stroked
him. When he raised his knees a little and moved them
farther apart, it was even better. I was fascinated at
the way his crotch pulsed just before I felt his cock
move in my hand and a little bit of fluid would dribble
out -- but not really dribble, more like just moisture
spreading from the end.
I reached over with my left hand to rub the liquid into
his skin on the underside, where the head joined the
main body of it, the upper shaft, where the night before
I had learned he was sensitive. He moaned softly at
that, and the sound felt so energizing and intense I
could hardly stand it.
On impulse, I leaned over and licked the underside of
his cock, starting down by his balls and moving up to
the head. It tasted strongly of his semen up by the
head, a bit less neutral than I remembered from the
previous night, somewhat saltier. First drops, I
suppose. Delicious.
"My god, Jeannie - oh my god, that feels good," he
moaned. So I moved my right hand down to the base of his
cock, lifted his balls with my left hand, and took his
cock right into my mouth. It was the first time I had
ever done that. All I had ever heard about it was a few
giggling remarks about "eating" from my girl friends and
a mention or two of oral sex in sex-ed class. I don't
even know why I did it.
But I did do it, and I liked it. Boys can't know the
delicious, sinful sense of power a girl can get from
running her mouth up and down on a hard cock, knowing
she is in control, knowing that the tube of hard-but-
soft flesh in her mouth is concentrating the boy's every
sensation into a final explosion, and she is the cause
of it. I doubt if even gay males can share that feeling
since they have the same physiology as their partner. As
a female I got a sense of control over powerful but
dimly understood force s that made my blood race. It was
my first experience of that exhilaration.
As Ricky's cock throbbed in my mouth he started hunching
his hips up at my face. I removed my right hand from his
cock and put it down on the bed by his hip so I could
put my weight on it and move my head up and over his
cock more. By raising my body and then lowering my head
so my hair fell down on his stomach, I could take as
much of him into my mouth as possible without physical
discomfort. I think I took most of him in, right into my
throat, and it didn't even choke me, I was so excited!
Then he started to spurt, once again in a series of
powerful jets that this time I felt against the back of
my throat. There was a kind of vibration to it as the
fluid spurted out against my tissues. As this happened,
Ricky was hunching his cock up and down in my mouth so I
kept my head still and just circled my tongue against
the underside of his cock as he moved, to let him pace
his own release.
I guess about a quarter cup of his semen must have gone
down my throat as I kept swallowing while he gushed. He
was groaning and saying my name over and over. It was
wonderful.
As his ejaculation finished, his cock shrank and I had
him entirely inside my mouth. I moved my tongue around
on the underside gently while I scratched around some
more, lightly, behind his balls. This provoked more
twitching inside my mouth as he hunched his hips up at
me, though I don't know if any more semen came out or if
it was just residual feel-goods. I never have figured
that out. Anyhow, his cock finally stopped twitching.
I held him against the roof of my mouth with my tongue
for awhile longer, until I was sure he had finished,
then I removed his cute little soft penis from my mouth,
kissed its head, pulled up his p.j.'s, covered him with
a blanket, whispered, "I have to go now," and hurried
out of the room.
Where I went was to my own room for a series of crashing
orgasms while I fingered and manipulated and rubbed
myself, sometimes in ways I had never tried before -- I
even put a finger up my own butt during one climax. I
was quite shameless. It was terrific.
For the next few weeks, until his casts came off, I went
into Ricky's room almost every night after everyone else
was asleep. Sometimes I used my hands on him but more
often I used my mouth; each time, I drained him of semen
and then ran back to my room to, let's say, watch an
instant replay in my mind as I released my own pent-up
energies. Some of those encounters were memorable.
One time I got back late from a school dance and Ricky
was already asleep when I went in. I snuck my head and
arms under the covers, carefully maneuvered his soft
penis through the opening in the front of his pajamas,
put it into my mouth and gently sucked on it.
The sensation woke Ricky up, and it thrilled me to feel
how quickly he went from soft to hard, right there
inside my mouth. Maybe because of the surprise, he
lasted longer than usual that night, building gradually
to his climax without any wild hum ping or such; he just
let me control the pace. I loved it.
There is no way I can fool myself into thinking I did
that to Ricky as he slept in order to help him meet an
immediate physical need. He was fast asleep. I did it
because I loved it, and I loved him, and he loved to
have me do it. I remember looking up at his face while I
bobbed my head up and down on him and licked around the
base of his balls and suckled at him -- I did pretty
much everything I could think of, in fact, while I
watched his face -- and he watched me back with his eyes
half shut and a tender smile on his face.
Since he was being so passive, I dragged things out as
long as I could, until finally I was the one who
couldn't stand it anymore. Then I triggered his orgasm
by moving my mouth up and down on him faster and
scratching lightly between his legs from the base of his
balls back to his anus. Touching his anus popped him off
like a rocket, I remember: He made a strangled moaning
sound and started humping wildly up at me and jetting
his semen into my throat. I drank him down and ran to my
room for a mental replay.
Another time, at his request, I got completely naked and
let him look at my body. He said I was beautiful, and
for that moment I did feel beautiful, but also shy for
some reason. He liked my boobs a lot, although they are
not very big. I showed him how my nipples get hard when
I stroke and pull on them, and then I straddled his
chest, kneeling, and parted myself with my fingers so he
could see how I'm built sexually.
My clitoris was swelling right out there wanting
attention, and when I pointed it out he said it looked
like a little excited nubbin. I put a finger up into my
vagina so he could see how slick and wet it gets inside
of me. (Yes, I was very turned on.) I let him lick and
suck my finger after, which he was eager to do! Finally,
I stroked myself to an intense orgasm while he watched.
His eyes were wide, his head was up off the pillow, and
I don't think he blinked the whole time. Yow, did I
erupt! With his arms up on ropes, watching was about all
the participation he could manage -- other than letting
me take care of his physical needs afterwards. It made
him incredibly excited.
After I stroked myself to climax right in front of his
face, I scooted down on the bed to take him into my
mouth, and he started spurting just about as soon as I
closed my mouth around him. It felt like he gushed half
a cup of semen down my throat that time! I only got
naked for him the one time, though, because I was afraid
Mom might wake up and knock at the door, and also, like
I said, it made me feel self conscious.
After Ricky's casts came off he invited me into his room
again one night but I told him he could take care of his
own needs now. I told him when we both got older and
knew more, we might decide to make love again, but for
now we had better stop.
He never pushed me about it, though he always had a
smile ready when I looked his way or smiled at him. At
the end of that school year I graduated and went on to
college early for Summer session. (I had to earn a
scholarship to go to college, and I take it very
seriously.)
I'm on the pill now, and have "gone all the way" with
several very nice guys; but for excitement I'm afraid
they were nothing to write about, even though they were
all built bigger than Ricky in the cock department. Of
course, Ricky was barely 15, so who knows if he was
finished growing yet, down there... Ultimately, and I
know this is a cliche, but it's true -- I really don't
care whether Ricky's cock has grown larger over the last
few years.
He was beautiful just the way he was, and that's what I
want to remember. I don't think I'd like it much if he
grew a gargantuan, swollen, outlandish member like some
kind of primitive carved potency fetish. To borrow a
metaphor I saw used here, I'll leave the horses to other
horses. (Or is that a simile?)
Anyhow, when I go home for Thanksgiving at the end of
next week I guess I will offer to renew my physical
acquaintance with Ricky -- I mean with Rich; the name
change will take some getting used to -- if I can do it
without damaging him emotionally.
I know the experience won't hurt me. Reliving those
early sexual contacts in this note has reminded me that
I got as much out of it as he did, and I suspect getting
physical again now that he can participate fully should
either let us both achieve closure or give us something
wonderful to guard and treasure and use carefully into
the future.
Wow. I just realized how important that is, the fact
that I trust him to be as careful with me as I will be
with him. I actually trust him completely. I saw trust
mentioned in someone else's note on the subject of
incest, but the importance of it just now sank in.
Trust, and love, and acceptance.
Now I really do want to find out if Ricky, I mean Rich,
wants to give it another go. I guess I'll try to get him
alone long enough to let it happen if it wants to. When
I get back here to school after Thanksgiving I'll write
again to tell how it comes out. (Assuming I don't lose
my courage and wuss out.) Now I have to go relieve some
physical stresses of my own while thinking about Ricky.
About Rich. Wow. I'm absolutely soaked again.
Hoping broken taboos won't cause pain --
Jeannie (19 and finally ready to experiment a little
further)
***
If you have an incest experience you would like to
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@WriteMe.com.
Anonymity guaranteed.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Men sometimes grow up with an
underwear fetish because they played with their mother's
or sister's lingerie. Did you ever get into that? What
were your feelings about it? Was incest a part of your
fantasies?
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 15
Though incest is among society's strongest taboos,
statistics show a lot of us have done it -- or are doing
it. Whether as part of mutual exploration, seduction, or
even abuse, incest creates enduring memories with
emotional and erotic impact. This digest is one way of
discussing and illuminating this subject. Plus, the
stories are fun to share!
If you have an incest experience you would like to
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@WriteMe.com.
Anonymity guaranteed.
Many of you enjoyed part 1 of Jeannie's story last
issue.
Here is her follow-up. Jeannie, you are one *hot*
writer! >kiss<
[personal to Jeannie: please write.]
***
From: "Jeannie"
(mf, teen, cons, incest, true)
Well, I'm back from Thanksgiving at home and I kept my
promise to myself -- I told my younger brother Rich (not
Ricky anymore) I would like to make love to him again if
he also wanted to. When I got back to school I found a
couple of notes asking me to post how it all worked out,
so here is a journal. It's long -- everything's so fresh
in my memory that lots of words came out. I hope no one
minds.
Here's a little intro. Approaching Rich after more than
two years turned out to be very scary. It took time to
find the right chance and I almost chickened out
completely. My fear was rather extreme.
For the record, I'm glad I did finally approach him and
I'm glad I resisted my fears, which had me convinced it
was all a huge mistake and I'd better rethink. What if
he freaks and tells someone? What right do I have to put
that kind of pressure on Rich? What if the whole idea
turns his stomach because he's become gay? What if I
caused it by getting so oral with him before? Yada yada
yada.
It turned out Rich wanted me as much as I did him and my
fear just evaporated. No doubt we'll run into
complications eventually, but nothing's free. We'll just
have to be careful.
In case you missed my last note, I'm a 19-year-old
college student who had a series of sexual encounters
with my younger brother two and a half years ago. He was
barely 15 and was stuck at home in a hospital bed after
a bicycle accident. I was 17. One night I accidentally
caught him with an erection and he got miserably
embarrassed. Being all tied up in casts, ropes and
pulleys, he couldn't do anything about it, so I relieved
him myself, by hand. He needed the release and I wanted
him to know I loved him even if his male body made
unreasonable demands; he didn't have to curl up and die
just because I had seen his erect penis.
It was a very rash, spur-of-the-moment thing, but I
found I liked it and one thing quickly led to another.
Until they took the rigid casts off his arms I used my
hands or my mouth on him almost every night to give him
sexual release. Once the casts came off and he could
take care of his own needs, we stopped.
That's kind of a summary of my earlier note. While
writing it I decided to ask Rich this Thanksgiving
holiday if he wanted to make love. So I did, and he did,
and we did, and I'm glad.
So here's "What I Did for Thanksgiving Vacation," may it
never fall into the delicate hands of Mrs. R., my fourth
grade teacher. Then again Rich and I are widely
considered to be "good kids," so I guess you can never
tell...
- "J."
Once I had made up my mind to actually approach Rich, I
got so sunk into the idea I was useless at school,
spending all my mental time in bed with him, going
around dreamy, moonstruck, fantasizing about Rich loving
me back instead of just being passive like he had to be
the first time. I guess writing about our incest made me
obsessive or something.
Whatever, I needed to deal with it and find closure one
way or another. I arranged to do some make-up work in my
only two classes that aren't near-automatic A's and
headed home the Thursday night before official T'giving
break began.
My kid brother was very much on my mind when I got home,
but it was after 2 a.m. so I just snuck up to my old
room (now a generic spare room) and fell asleep. The
next morning when I saw Rich at breakfast I immediately
chickened out. He may be my kid brother, but at 17 Rich
stands a good 6 or 7 inches taller than I do (I'm 5'6 in
my shoes) and he's gained quite a bit of muscle around
his shoulders.
He still has the long, slim build of a runner and
swimmer (I'm on the thin side too), but he's not
physically a kid anymore. It didn't feel like I had the
advantage of being his older sibling. And he didn't have
his arms in casts either.
How about that? In wussing out, I discovered one of the
things I liked about our previous encounters was that he
was helpless and younger than me. With Rich immobilized
I could let myself go completely. Now I was afraid I
couldn't do that anymore. Not to mention, this time
there would be absolutely nothing accidental about it.
Frankly, Rich attracted me so strongly I didn't feel
secure about his being my brother instead of a "love
interest," if you see what I mean. Add to that a strong
fear of rejection, betrayal or discovery, and I was
ready to bolt. Scary.
There it stood the first day of my visit and much of the
next, with me afraid to say anything and wondering if
even thinking about it meant I was sick in the head. As
always, Rich had a smile ready whenever I glanced over
or smiled at him, a complete gentleman. I don't think he
had any idea of what I'd come home ready -- or maybe
unready -- to do, or the insane levels my hormones were
reaching as I watched him move around like some young
athlete.
On Saturday afternoon, Mom and my younger sister Jody,
who turned 13 the week before, went to a double-feature
movie. I begged off on grounds of holiday homework. Rich
said he didn't feel like getting stuck at the mall with
his mom and sister for hours after the movie. Jodie
stuck out her tongue, Mom and Jody left, and we he had
the house to ourselves for at least the next 4 or 5
hours, counting mall time.
I knew if I put off talking to Rich I probably never
would find the courage. Maybe I was just scared of how I
would feel if I let this chance slide by, but whatever
the reason, I decided I'd better do something while I
had some backbone.
Rich was in the living room watching TV, so I went in
and sat by him on the couch -- a decent distance away,
of course, not physically touching or anything crass
like that. He smiled over at me, and I bit my lip and
just looked at him.
"What," he said, frowning a little. He cocks his head
when he's puzzled, which I think is really cute even if
it's supposed to be a girl's posture. Like playing with
your hair. God he's cute. This is wrong. I can't do
this. I have to do this. Yada yada.
Take the plunge. "Rich -- remember when you were laid up
in bed?"
My heart was racing -- I'm not kidding about the fear.
He let out a long breath. "Jeannie, how could I forget?
It was the only good thing that happened." (The quote is
approximate, but close.) I remember he paused a moment,
looking at me. "I always wondered if you had regrets
for... what we did."
"No. No regrets ever. Not for myself," I told him. "But
I was afraid it might have hurt you. You know.
Emotionally or something."
"Are you kidding? It just made me love you more." He
leaned toward me with an intent look. "Jeannie, I
completely love you. All my heart. Nobody had better
ever hurt you. I mean that." (That is an accurate quote.
It's tucked away in my memory, in the place where I keep
my treasures.)
He was watching me with that open, direct gaze of his
and started to reach toward me, but pulled his hand back
like he couldn't make up his mind. Maybe I flinched when
he moved his hand, I don't know; certainly I felt jumpy.
I didn't say anything, couldn't even think, much less
talk. I just watched him and bit my lower lip some more.
Rich tells me I usually do that when I'm feeling
uncertain or scared. Finally he asked, "Do you want to
talk about it?"
"Yes, I think I need to," I told him, and couldn't help
looking down at my lap. I suppose my face was red. "It'd
sure help if you would hug me. Just hold me for a
second. I need you to hold me."
My voice kept getting smaller and I guess it was obvious
I was scared. It sure wasn't the cheerful, fearless
"Wanna try it again, bubba?" kind of approach that I'd
fantasized pulling off. Bless him, Rich just stood up in
front of me without another word and held out his hands.
I grabbed them and he pulled me to my feet, then put his
arms around me and held me against his body. I put my
own arms around him and hugged back. Actually, it felt
more like hanging on for dear life.
After a deep breath and a couple of still moments, it
started to feel like I might melt into him. I guess if
someone had seen us we would have looked pretty glued
together. I remember my cheek was pressed against his
chest and I could hear his heart beating -- it was going
fast, like mine. His chest and stomach felt hard and
solid against my front and I could feel him stirring
against my lower stomach, where I was pressed against
him. Where his legs began. Okay, his crotch.
I was pressed against his crotch and he was stirring
there, and my own "down there" parts did some stirring
of their own, so to speak. But I was still scared; I
mean, this was far gone beyond the norm.
Rich kissed the top of my head and said in a low voice,
"Jeannie, tell me. Just say it. Whatever it is."
He was making my knees weak. Weird experience -- it was
like they wanted to buckle, and I was just hanging on
tight.
I looked up to his face. "Rich, can you forgive me? I
don't want to stop," I told him. "I want to make love to
you again. I want you to make love to me. You don't have
to. It's wrong I guess. I don't want you to get hurt. Or
Mom. But I don't want to leave things where they are. I
keep thinking about it. About you. I need to know." I
was babbling and didn't know how to stop.
Rich solved my problem by leaning his head down to kiss
me on the mouth, His lips were slightly open so I opened
my own, and his tongue brushed lightly against my lips,
then probed into my mouth where I met it with my own
very willing tongue. He held me in a long, deep kiss and
as we kissed I felt his hands stroking my back, up and
down. I pressed every inch of myself against him, tried
to wriggle even closer. He felt lovely and solid -- and
safe.
When we broke the kiss he held me for a moment, then
said, "Let's go to my room," and led me up the stairs,
holding my hand. At that moment I would have followed
him anywhere, done anything.
When we got to his room he paused to lock the door (we
all got door locks as kids, out of respect for privacy),
then turned and took my hands. I guess we were about a
foot apart, and I couldn't stop looking into his eyes. I
was sinking in them.
"Jeannie, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.
Oops. Wrong question. I didn't know what I wanted at
that moment. I wasn't in charge anymore. I didn't want
to decide anything. Damn.
"Don't you?" I asked. I could barely hear my own voice.
Inwardly, I was cursing my recklessness and my cowardice
at the same moment.
"More than anything," he said, and drew me toward him.
It was a wonderful moment but I don't know how to
describe the emotions that swirled around inside me.
Relief, gladness... nothing sounds right. I don't know
how to say it. Like something had whooshed out that I
didn't even know I had inside. (Sounds like gas.)
Anyhow, when Rich leaned in to kiss me I expected him to
put his arms around me but instead he let go of my hands
and I felt him start to unbutton my shirt. I was wearing
an old chambray work shirt and realized I was not
wearing a bra -- my boobs aren't big enough to really
need the support so I often choose comfort.
Now I was self-conscious. Like he might think I'd
planned it all out. Jeannie the slut, bring on the track
team. Damn. Stop that. Shut up. Let it happen. All this
noise kept going through my head, but Rich just kept
kissing me and unbuttoning my shirt.
When we came up for air he glanced down at what he was
doing and I could tell when he realized I had no bra
because he took a quick little breath of his own, then
looked back up at my face with his eyes kind of wide. I
smiled at him, or tried to, and realized I was biting my
lip again. I felt very awkward. He leaned forward to
kiss me again gently, then ran one finger down my front,
tracing a light path on my skin down between my boobs
and on down my stomach to the last two buttons still
holding my shirt closed, and quickly undid them.
We hadn't said a word and I don't know why I remember
that sequence so well. Maybe because Rich didn't say
anything? It felt like he accepted me the way I am and
didn't pass judgment. It made me feel safe. I shut my
eyes and finally was able to totally sink into the
moment.
Have I mentioned how much I love this brother of mine?
When my shirt fell open Rich raised his hands to my
breasts and started stroking them, gently tugging and
manipulating my nipples the way I had shown him just
once before, the one time I had gotten completely naked
for him when I was taking care of his needs, while he
was laid up. My nipples popped out so hard I think they
tried to jump right off my boobs. Not to mention that
direct connection between my nips and my crotch. Phew! I
don't even remember where my hands were at that point --
maybe just hanging down at my sides. Rich had all my
attention elsewhere and was compounding my interest with
another deep, lingering kiss.
Then he leaned forward to whisper, "I want to undress
you. I want to do you the way you used to do me. I love
you, Jeannie."
I didn't need to hear the "magic words," but they are
always nice when you know the other person means them.
All I could do was whisper back, "Oh yesss..." or
something like that. Or maybe I just nodded; I'm not
sure. It didn't matter. I wasn't in charge.
Rich bent down and picked me up like I didn't weigh
anything, with one arm under my knees and the other
supporting my back, right against my skin below where my
shirt hung down from my shoulders. He was in a tee shirt
and I can still feel his arm against me when I think
about it. His left hand curved up against my side to
hold me secure from falling and his fingers just touched
the side of my breast.
It felt like a promise. A psych professor of mine said
when you vividly remember a touch or a movement, it
means the memory goes bone-deep because those are the
hardest senses to fool or to make hallucinate. Rich's
arm supporting my back, pressed against my naked skin,
his hand curved up against my side, the cool air against
my breasts and nipples -- these memories are so vivid I
can close my eyes and be there again.
After picking me up Rich walked over to the bed with me;
I dropped my shirt to the floor and he put me gently
down. When I scooted over to make room, instead of lying
down with me as I expected he sat next to me on the bed,
looked at me a moment, and bent down to fasten his mouth
to my boob. He cupped it with both hands while he sucked
and licked my nipple, then moved one hand over to caress
the other one too. He was making me a little dizzy.
After a few moments he rested his cheek against my chest
right below my breasts and looked up at me. "I dreamed
about this, you know," he said. "I never stopped
dreaming about you." I keep that with my treasures too.
Then he went back to my breasts, paying attention first
to one and then the other, and I discovered how
wonderful it feels to lie passively on a bed and just
soak up the sensations given by a lover. None of the
three boys I had bedded at college ever did this for me!
But there was nothing inept or impatient about Rich. As
he kissed and nibbled at me he stroked his right hand
down onto my stomach, moving his hand in circular
motions.
The tops of his fingers went just under the top of my
Levis at the bottom o f the circles and I hoped he would
go further soon. But I let him take the lead and just
closed my eyes and stroked his head and occasionally
went "Mmmmm" or said his name at a sweet moment. Mmmmm.
Still vivid.
Then his mouth left my breast and I felt him moving down
on the bed, so I opened my eyes to see. He was down
there fumbling around with the top button on my Levis. I
reached down to help him, but he tilted his hand up to
block me.
"No fair," he told me. "It's my turn. You lie back. Let
me try to give you the same magic you gave me."
He moved my hands onto my stomach and went back to
fumbling at my top button so I moved my hands up by my
head, palms up, surrendering to him, and watched him
work. It struck me that Rich was still completely
dressed -- he even had his sneakers on. Not too
romantic! But I figured he was in charge and if he
wanted to -- excuse me -- fuck with his shoes on, so be
it. But it would be hard to do that with his pants on. I
was curious about what he intended.
Once he had my Levis unfastened, he hooked his hands
over them at my hips and tugged downward. I raised my
hips to help him, as he had done for me more than once,
and he slid my pants down below my knees. Then he moved
farther down and took off my shoes -- I was glad I was
just wearing slip-ons -- and pulled my pants the rest of
the way off.
So there I was, lying nude on the bed except for my
panties, and I'm sure they were getting very soaked in
the crotch. (Just as mine are now, from telling this!
While writing my previous note I had to stop twice to
masturbate, and now the urge is building again. Maybe
that makes me an exhibitionist, or am I a voyeur on my
own life? I don't know.)
Anyway, getting on with it...
While I lay there almost naked, Rich moved back up to my
middle and sat by my hips, and just looked down at me. I
still had my hands on the pillow by my head and was open
to whatever he wanted. I guess what he wanted was to sit
and just look at me for awhile.
He moved his eyes from my head down to my feet and back
up to my face, stopping here and there in between to
gaze at various parts of me. It felt like a very
intimate caress. I couldn't believe how stirred up I was
getting.
"Rich," I finally said, "aren't you going to undress?"
"Shhh," he said, and leaned over to kiss me again
briefly, then bent to suck at my nipple again -- yow!
The connection to my crotch was getting electric. I
might have moaned that time.
He broke off long enough to take off his shoes and
socks, which for some absurd reason made me feel
grateful, I'm not sure why. Of course once his shoes
were off he stopped undressing and went back to kissing
and sucking at my breasts. I didn't really mind; in fact
I loved him doing that. He lingered, paying attention
back and forth, and I'd not have complained if he'd kept
it up for hours.
"God, you're beautiful, Jeannie," he finally said,
pressing his cheek against my upper stomach. When I
opened my eyes to look down I realized I had lowered one
of my hands to stroke his head as he suckled at me. I
had to smile, he looked so sweet.
Since I was on my back my boobs only swelled up a little
bit, but my nipples stood straight up! The whole area
around my nips kind of glistened from the moisture of
his kissing and licking. His gaze was roaming from my
breasts to my face and back again, and he had his eyes
half closed. He looked insanely sexy.
"How can you be so beautiful?" he asked, and started
kissing his way down my chest and stomach. I said
before, I'm not beautiful, just fairly fat-free. Not
everyone is even attracted to that kind of body. Rich
always makes me feel beautiful, though. I guess beauty
must really be in the eye of the beholder, dumb as that
sounds.
While he kissed his way down my front, he kept stroking
my breasts, keeping my nipples erect, until he got to my
lower stomach and the top of my panties. I was ready to
have him tear them right off me, but instead he skipped
down to my legs and, when I moved my knees apart a
little, he started licking and kissing toward the
insides of my thighs by my crotch.
This prompted me to move my legs apart still farther and
then I felt his tongue insinuate itself under the loose
elastic around my leg, not much, but enough that his
tongue was actually on my crotch, inside my panties! You
bet that earned a moan or two. Then he pulled aside my
soaked panties and started kissing and licking my actual
sexual parts and I couldn't help it, I hunched up at his
face, even though he hadn't gotten anywhere near my
clitoris. I simply felt ready to explode.
Maybe because my hips were off the bed, he finally
tugged down at my panties. I kept my hips up to help him
and he moved down to the bottom of the bed again to pull
my panties the rest of the way off. I know I was soaked,
because when I lowered my butt and lifted my knees and
feet to help him finish getting me naked, the air felt
cool against the moisture at my crotch.
Once my panties were off, Rich moved my feet apart with
his hands and got back onto the bed, kneeling between my
legs just as I had once done with him. When he said he
wanted to "do" me the way I had "done" him, he wasn't
kidding.
I was like my old Gumby toy: he could bend me any way he
wanted. He slowly moved upwards, pushing my legs farther
apart with his hands, stroking lightly upwards on my
inner thighs, moving his eyes the whole time up and down
my body, from between my legs to my face and back down
to my thighs, with stops between. It was absolutely a
caress; it gave me goosebumps. I remember feeling a drop
of fluid roll from somewhere in my crotch down my butt
about then. It tickled a bit. I guess I was gushing
sexual fluids. Rich has that effect on me.
When my legs were far enough apart to suit him, he
leaned down and kissed and licked me all over the
outside of my sex while he moved his hands up to my
breasts and resumed playing with my nipples. I lay there
passively but my breathing was getting ragged.
Still, incredibly, I hadn't climaxed. His tongue on my
sex felt good but didn't especially heighten my senses,
though of course I enjoyed the sensations. But then he
moved his hands back down to spread my labia and probed
his strong tongue directly inside, into my vagina.
I could hear myself going "Unnnnhhh..." -- not very
original, I know -- as I hunched my center up at him
again. God it was intense, his tongue moving around at
the entrance to me like that. Then, slowly, still
holding my labia apart, he moved his tongue up my sexual
slit to wriggle against my clitoris, and I went off like
a stick of dynamite. BOOM! Boom, boom! BOOM!!
"Oh god, Rich!" I remember crying out, among other
things, as the wave crested, subsided, rose and crested
again. Still he didn't stop but kept stroking the flat
of his tongue lightly up and down and around on my
clitoris and the areas around it.
He just didn't stop, and neither it seems could I. When
I started to lower my hips at what I thought was the
end, he put a finger up inside me ("Unnnnnnhhh...") and
up went my hips again as he licked and sucked and
fluttered his tongue around my clitoris. To my surprise,
I quickly built up toward yet another orgasm! Soon I was
so hunched up toward his face that I suppose not too
much of me touched the bed, and ("Unngggg...!") here
came another explosion.
While it happened Rich was pushing his finger in and out
of me, licking and fluttering his tongue at my sexual
center, and I swear he turned my world upside down.
Phew. And I hadn't even touched him intimately yet.
Touched him? I hadn't caught my breath. He still had his
clothes on, for god's sake!
At that point Rich took his hands away from my sex --
okay, my cunt -- I don't like that word -- anyway he
stroked his hands up my stomach to my breasts. He was
looking up my body at me, his mouth and chin and cheeks
shining in the light where he'd gotten my fluids all
over himself. At some point I remembered to breathe
again.
"God, Rich," I said, "no one ever did that to me. I
didn't know it could feel like that." It was true. I'd
never been so completely out of control with anyone. I
felt like whimpering. "God you look sexy," I added. It
was an afterthought.
"I'm glad," he said, and moved back up to lie next to
me. He reached down to cup his hand over my crotch where
I still tingled from what he had done. I leaned over to
kiss his darling wet mouth and got my first taste of my
own juices. They didn't taste like much, but knowing
they were there made the kiss feel special.
I kept my legs slightly apart so he could squeeze and
stroke and explore me down there with his hand. It felt
good, and I was quickly wet again. When we broke the
kiss he bent to suck at my nipple again. I stroked his
head. Except for his shoes, he was still dressed.
"Rich," I asked him, "please get undressed and hold me.
I want to hold you. Please."
"Anything," he said, and smiled, and got up to undress.
He took his time, which made it very sexy. As he
unpeeled his clothes I realized his body was just as
beautiful as I remembered, but more mature. He had a
hint of hair trailing up his lower belly now, not just
on his pubes, and his chest and shoulders were broader
and more muscular, though he still has a swimmer's body,
more lean than bulky.
He doesn't have much body hair, which suits my personal
tastes. His butt is a 10, as they say -- small and round
and muscular, just right for his slim hips. It must be
from running track events. It can't be normal or other
guys would look that good too, and mostly they don't. He
had his profile to me, so when he unbent from taking off
his underwear I could see his erect penis standing
straight out from his body. It had grown since our
earlier encounters.
I said in my first note that I didn't care if he grew
larger down there, and I didn't; but it was still nice
to see that he had gotten somewhat thicker and longer
than I remembered. I guess it's a bit under seven inches
long, thicker in proportion to the new length, but still
on the slim side like the rest of him.
It's about the same length as other guys I've had
intimate contact with (not that many -- three, actually,
in two years of college, plus my high school boyfriend
Tom). Not a flagpole or a "horse," as you people say
here, but beautifully right for him. I guess every guy
is built differently in the cock department. In my own
rather limited experience, I think Rich's is utterly the
best. Believe me, at that moment I couldn't take my eyes
off him. It.
He must have noticed me staring when he turned to face
me, because he put his hand around it -- his fingers
overlapped, I remember -- and smiled when I looked back
up his body to his face. I guess I had roaming eyes,
like his when he first undressed me.
"Is it what you remember?" he asked.
"Somewhat larger, actually," I told him. (Hmmm -- I
assumed he meant his penis -- I wonder if he meant his
whole body? Well, it was the right answer either way.)
"Still gorgeous. You are absolutely mind-bending." He
smiled wider and I smiled back. "Rich, come lie down
with me. I want to hold you."
He did, and I rolled onto my side to put my arms around
him. He rolled to meet me and I pressed my cheek against
his chest, and his erection jabbed at my thighs. When I
felt that, I reached down between us to hold him in my
hand, squeezing gently like a veteran groper.
My first impression was right -- his erect penis is
somewhat thicker than when he was barely 15. Not enough
to make me nervous, but it does have a nice amount of
extra, what would you call it? Heft, I guess. A bonus. I
loved how soft it felt for being so hard, and the way it
responded when I squeezed.
"Rich, can it be my turn now?" I asked him, and he
smiled and nodded so I let go of his cock and scooted up
to where I could plant another big, wet kiss on his
mouth. He knew what I wanted right away, and we went
into another deep, lingering kiss.
I don't know if other women love to kiss like that, deep
and long and with active tongue play, but I can't get
enough of it, provided it's with someone I feel right
about and he doesn't try to rape my mouth with his
tongue. It might seem weird to want subtlety when
playing "tonsil hockey," but that's what I'm trying to
get at. Rich understood, and was thrilling to kiss.
While we kissed, Rich stroked his hand down the small of
my back to my butt, where he caressed and squeezed me.
His other hand, the one by the bed, was between us,
caressing my breast. I was gently fondling his very
erect cock, stroking and squeezing. It was a perfect
moment, loving and intimate and sexual all at once, and
I don't think the outside world existed.
When Rich tightened his hand on my butt, his fingers
spanned the cheek and spread out on the side of my
crotch and against my inner thigh. It made my sexual
parts move around against each other, a terrific turn-
on. Then he moved his fingers over and down between my
legs from the rear; I arched my back to give him access,
and he quickly found my vagina with his long, middle
finger. I could feel the other fingers moving on either
side as he probed and moved his finger on the inside of
me.
I heard myself making noises, and couldn't arch my back
enough.
While Rich caressed me like that from the rear we kept
kissing, and I started moving my hand up and down on his
cock. He was quickly very moist at the tip, which I
remembered meant he needed release soon. So I broke the
kiss, whispered, "My turn," and tasted my way down his
long, flat, hard body. As I dropped lower he tried to
keep his finger inside me but soon had to give up, and
then I was face to face again (so to speak) with his
erect cock.
He was as gorgeous close-up as I remembered from before,
perfectly proportioned, topped by a reddish head, with
blue veins on the shaft. There was moisture around its
little opening slit and more appeared as I stroked my
hand up, but I didn't want him to go off quite so soon.
I stopped stroking and instead put my hands on his
thighs to move them farther apart.
I then moved over to kneel with both of my legs between
his knees, as he had just done to me. God it was a
compelling sight, his hard cock standing up in the air,
leaning slightly toward his belly but moving in time to
his heartbeat, and the moisture at the end signifying
his readiness.
I lifted his balls and they felt heavy in my hand; I
imagined them full of semen, though I believe the
testicles are not where semen actually accumulates in a
male. (I'll have to look that up.) But it felt sexy to
imagine it that way, and I leaned down to kiss and then
lick the underside of the sack while I stroked and
lightly scratched the area where I remembered he was
sensitive, right behind his balls between his legs, and
on back toward his anus.
He rewarded me with a soft groan, so I kept it up. By
now Rich was stroking my hair as I ministered to him.
Finally I licked around his balls, up the side of his
sack to the base of his cock, then slowly up the
underside of the shaft to its head. The taste of his
semen, which I remember well and like to conjure up in
my mind when I masturbate, was strong there at the head.
It had a salty tang that I now associate with the first
few drops (his flavor gets more neutral later during
ejaculation).
I could feel his energies building and knew he would not
last much longer, so I carefully put my mouth around his
cock without actually closing it over him and breathed
softly out around it as I scratched lightly between his
legs with my fingernails. I did not want to just set him
off accidentally; I wanted him to build up to a finish
he could never have just gone upstairs to do for
himself, something as memorable as what he had just
given me. Lewd? I certainly hoped so.
So I drew it out as much as I could without being cruel.
(The poor boy did need his release!) I scratched
lightly, gradually back between his legs as I breathed
out around his cock with each breath, and produced
exactly the effect I'd hoped for. When my fingernail
actually brushed his anus he went "Oh god, Jeez," in a
strangled voice and hunched his hips up, sending his
cock right against the back of my throat.
The contact started him spurting strongly so I closed my
mouth around him, using my tongue to hold him gently
against the roof of my mouth so he could hunch himself
up and down, spurting into my mouth and throat as I
swallowed his output. I don't know how much he gushed,
but it came out in a series of strong spurts that I felt
very clearly, plus a longish period of gradual
subsiding.
I held him in my mouth the whole time, scratching
lightly against his sensitive areas and moving my tongue
around gently on the underside of his penis. His
explosions felt absolutely glorious to me; he kept
saying my name.
Toward the end I reached down to touch myself between
the legs and had a little orgasm of my own, nothing
much, just a small energy release. My mind was really on
Rich and what I was doing to him.
Here's something maybe other women can tell me. Do you
find that taking your man orally to climax and drinking
down his fluids is in some ways more intense than other
sexual experiences? I do. It has to do with being in
control, and the lack of distractions (like orgasms)
going on in my own body, and the complete and utter
focus of my partner. Well, I haven't actually done or
felt like doing that with anyone else, but that's how it
feels with Rich.
In any case, I absolutely did not want Rich ever to
stop, but of course he did finish, and his penis
subsided. I held him there in my mouth until he was
completely still, though he did not shrink all the way
down. When I was sure he was finished I took him back
out of my mouth, all drained, and moved my body over to
his side so I could rest my head on his stomach and just
gaze at his penis as it rested there on my hand.
With my mouth off it, his penis finished shrinking and I
sort of studied it in its flaccid state. Memorized it.
Male physiology is very strange and interesting. I was
in some kind of dreamy place where I just wanted to look
and look, and maybe go to sleep there and wake up later
and look some more. Not that his soft penis had the same
power as when it was all hard and eager, but it just
looked... nice. Comfortable.
I couldn't help kissing the head, which made it stir a
little in my hand, so I moved back up Rich's body to
rest my cheek on his chest and listen to his heart. It
sounded strong and steady.
I guess I dozed because the next thing I remember, Rich
was whispering in my ear, "Jeannie - they're home!
You've got to sneak out of here!"
I bolted off the bed and put on my pants and shirt while
Rich put his own pants back on.
"I'll go downstairs and tell them you're taking a nap,"
he schemed. "You go into your room and come out later,
when you feel like it."
Then he stopped to look at me, got a funny, intense look
on his face, and stepped over to cup my face in his hand
and kiss me. I wondered if he could taste his juices on
my tongue, the way I had tasted myself on him before. I
didn't ask. He whispered, "Thank you, Jeannie. I love
you. All my heart." I just put my arms around him and
squeezed as hard as I could, pressing my cheek against
his chest, loving him utterly. I didn't want to let go.
After a moment he disengaged and left the room quietly,
then I heard him clomping noisily downstairs, hollering,
"How was the movie?" all cheerful and seeming like
nothing much of interest had happened. It was all I
could do not to laugh as I snuck down the hall to my
room. I lay down on my bed to rest a minute, but before
I knew it, I had my hand down my pants and was rubbing
myself off again, thinking about the encounter with
Rich. I just couldn't help it. I'm not usually that
horny -- I'm really not! But Rich does something intense
to me that I can't and don't want to resist.
So it turned into a terrific visit home. Rich and I got
together most nights and a couple times during the day
for sex, though for some reason we kept it exclusively
oral. We didn't have "normal sex" (as if any of this
could be called normal!) until just before I left for
school again. I had no complaints. There are lots of
great variations on the oral theme and we experimented
with most of them.
For example, the second night after our "reunion," once
everyone else was safely tucked away in bed, I snuck
into Rich's room and we wound up in our first "69." It
was Rich's idea; he wanted to give and get "magic" at
the same time, as he puts it. But I'm sure I would have
thought of it myself before long. It makes everything so
mutual, if you see what I mean. It's very appealing.
Neither of us had tried this before. I remember lying on
our sides facing each other, exploring each other's
sexual centers with hands and lips and tongues. Up until
our energies started to build, it felt unhurried and
sensual and fine; then it got more hectic. Rich pushed
my leg up to get better access so I rested my knee on
his shoulder.
He licked and sucked and nibbled and probed and stroked
every part of me, and brought my temperature up to about
150. At the same time I was fondling him, licking him
all over, nibbling at his sensitive areas, stroking and
tasting and feeling and engulfing every part of him I
could get access to, which was, well, pretty much
everything. It was wonderful.
When orgasm overtook me I just had to roll over on top,
bucking myself down against his face for all I was
worth, with my knees drawn up under me. As my senses
raced, he put one finger into my vagina and another into
my butt ("Unnnngggggghh") while he kissed and licked and
fluttered his tongue against my clitoris -- ye gods did
I go off! It's a wonder no one woke up. (We did try not
to make too much noise, of course.)
Rich started spurting into my mouth while I was still
bucking against him in my own rodeo, and I was so
distracted by my sensory overload that I didn't even
catch all of his Ricky-juice. Once we both calmed down
some, I cleaned him up by licking his cock and his
stomach and his crotch down by his balls, where the
spilled semen had gone. That seems kind of gross in the
retelling, I guess, but at the time it seemed a natural
extension of what we had been doing. Anyhow it got me
all hot again, which aroused him again, and off we went
to another rodeo.
Another night when I brought him to climax orally, I
played the same anal trick on him that he had played on
me -- just as he went off, I stuck my finger in his
butt. Boy did that get a reaction! The next time I took
it even further -- I put my finger into his butt
somewhat sooner in his build-up and probed inward to the
music of his groans until I felt his sphincter.
I pushed in deeper, past the sphincter into his true
insides, and Rich flipped. His groaning was very sensual
and the energy build-up was intense. Way back there
inside him I felt a swelling through his intestinal wall
that had to be his prostate gland, if my sex ed books
told the truth, and I stroked my finger against it as he
spurted into my throat. I was jolted by the strength of
the smooth muscles he has in there, the ones that pump
out his semen.
He was spurting with incredible power. I had an orgasm
of my own, rubbing against his leg as I drank him down.
Very intense. I have to say that probing deep inside him
was worth it, even though my finger smelled gross when I
pulled it back out. (No, kids, there was no cork popping
sound and his anus didn't slam shut.)
I put his bathrobe on and snuck across the hall to wash
my hands so I could go back and feel comfortable with
him in bed. Gross or not, I could tell it drove him up
the wall, so I'll do it again one of these times,
assuming we continue our physical explorations. (I don't
want to stop anytime soon, but there's always a chance
Rich might.)
Mostly we used Rich's room because mine was too close to
Mom's. The one time we used mine instead, Mom and Jody
had gone out shopping for feast-food stuff. I was in my
room napping so I didn't know Rich and I had the house
to ourselves. (I was getting very big on naps -- having
sex every night after lights out, then getting up early
so no one will guess, does take a toll.) So there I was
snoozing on top of my bed, wearing loose sweats and
dreaming Rich was licking my stomach.
I really liked the dream, especially when he moved
downward toward my sexual regions. When I dreamed the
velvet tongue was stroking my skin below the top of my
pajama bottoms I put my hand down by reflex, and bolted
up when it encountered someone's head! It was Rich, of
course, trying to pay me back for one time when I snuck
under his covers while he slept and took his soft penis
into my mouth, just to wake him up and feel him grow
hard there against my tongue.
Yow! That episode has long been one of my favorite
lascivious memories when I masturbate. But it's hard to
pull off that stunt with a girl, especially since my
sweats (not the p.j.'s of my dream) had no front opening
for access. And of course there was nothing in there for
him to fish out even if my pants did have an opening in
front. Females are tidier that way than males.
When I jolted upright Rich looked up with such a worried
face that I had to giggle. It seems he thought I was
awake all along because I had been murmuring his name
while he licked his way down my tummy. Well, why
wouldn't I? I certainly had zilch interest in anyone
else at the moment.
I told him he had gotten me very turned on in my dream,
which was true, and I lifted my hips so he could pull my
pants down and have his oral way with me. It was a
wonderful way to wake up! After I climaxed against his
tongue I pulled up my sweats and told him to get up and
lean back against the door. When he did, I went over and
kissed him (his face was glistening again, so I got
another sample of my own juices), then I dropped down on
my knees, undid his fly, and discovered I couldn't fish
his hard cock out of his jeans without being unkind and
bending it.
So I yanked his pants down and took him into my mouth
for the most lingering, most sensual oral sex I knew how
to give. When he finally spurted, I pumped my mouth up
and down on his cock, swallowing his output as fast as
he gushed, while I scratched lightly under and behind
his balls. I think his knees almost buckled. I love
bending his reality that way.
The only tiresome thing about my visit was the fear of
discovery. We had to hide everything from Mom and Jody,
not easy when you're busy falling in love. (It does seem
that's what we were doing.) We took some silly chances.
On T'giving day we were sitting together on the couch
watching TV while Mom and Jody messed around in the
kitchen right behind us. Since we both had loose sweats
on, I reached inside Rich's pants to grope him, for no
very good reason.
To bother him I guess, or maybe just because I could.
Anyway Rich reciprocated my mischief, and the
combination of risk and Rich's growing expertise with my
body brought me quickly to orgasm. My face must have
been bright red from holding in the noises that normally
escape me when Rich pulls my trigger. So I'm sitting
there all red-faced, jerking my hips and clamping my
thighs on his hand when Rich joins in, just pops right
off in his pants against my hand.
He got semen all over his shorts and had to run up to
his room to change before anyone noticed the wetness or
the smell. I couldn't help laughing. That was stupid,
because my own hand was wet now with Rich's eruptions
and I didn't dare run upstairs on his heels. I mean, I
was sitting there reeking as strongly of semen as he
would have been. I do like Rich's smell when he comes,
it's part of his taste, but it's hard to miss the odor
if you know what it is, and Mom would know for sure.
Maybe Jody, too; at 13 she's getting cute in a swimsuit
and I bet the boys have noticed. Jody did hear me
laughing and came out to ask what was so funny; I told
her it was the TV show. She looked at me weird so I
checked, and it seems what Rich and I weren't watching
was a news report on some gruesome fire someplace.
Meanwhile I had my arms crossed so I could hide my wet
hand in my armpit, which made my shirt wet, so just as
Rich came back downstairs I was rushing up to change. If
Jody or Mom noticed our change of clothes they said
nothing, but it brought home to me how important privacy
is in an incestuous relationship -- and how difficult to
find.
The sex we were having was so good I didn't really
wonder about why we never seemed to screw in the normal
manner. Finally, on Friday, before I left for college
again, I asked and Rich told me he thought I might get
pregnant and wasn't willing to risk it.
The only condom he had was a permanent resident of his
wallet, the way high school boys do; I think they like
the ring shape it makes in the leather or something.
Anyway, he didn't trust it. I told him I was on the pill
now, so if he hadn't been doing any risky behaviors I
would love to have plain old ungarnished sex with him.
I really did want to feel him thrusting into me, feel
him build to a climax and fill me with his semen. The
thought gave me shivers and I told him so. The next day
we borrowed Mom's car and took off for an overnight
"visit to friends," went to a motel down the freeway a
few miles and spent Saturday evening and most of Sunday
morning in each other's arms. That's when we added
"real" love -- coitus -- fucking -- to our repertoire.
To my surprise, considering his inventiveness, it turned
out to be Rich's first time; as I said before, he's on
the shy side. It was glorious, utterly enthralling, and
maybe I'll tell about it in another note. Or maybe not.
Right now it feels like it might betray my darling
brother in some way, so I won't. It's his milestone, not
mine, and I ought not to steal it.
I will say this -- I would give anything to take back
the few unmemorable experiences I had in bed with other
guys at college so Rich's first time could also have
been my own. But at least I was able to be there for
Rich and I would not trade that, not for the world.
During our side trip to the motel, once we got
comfortable "going all the way" with each other, we
tried just about everything but anal sex. That, and
bringing someone else to the party. As for anal sex,
Rich never asked to put his cock into my butt and I
didn't suggest it. Don't get me wrong, I would be
willing to try it with him if he wanted.
I will never turn down a sensual request from Rich, any
more than he has ever turned me down. But I'm glad the
subject didn't come up. Not that we ignored each other'
s anuses (anii?), with all those sensitive nerve
endings. Rich licked my anus sometimes ("Unnhhhhhhh...")
when we were in a 69 position and I licked his too.
Usually I did that as part of nibbling and licking the
sensitive areas under his testicles and farther back.
I discovered that going oral back there, including
licking his anus, is a good way to keep him on the edge
without actually triggering an orgasm. I can make him
really build up pressure behind the dam when I want to
draw things out, hee hee. But I will only do his anus
when he smells sweet and clean there, like right after a
shower.
Well, I did try it once during a "let's wash each other"
bath at the motel. It took some serious squirming around
and didn't work very well. I'd fooled around with him
until he got all excited and ready to pop but I didn't
want to contend with his semen floating around in the
bath water, so I had this bright idea to keep him at the
edge orally for awhile (what power!), then make him buck
after we dried off.
Things don't always work as planned. Rich says he now
keeps a picture in his mental photo album of my face
rising up from under his crotch with a bubble bath beard
while he struggles to keep his butt out of the water
without flipping upside down and drowning. Now there's
an image to make the lunch milk come out of your nose.
For his part, Rich likes to put a finger into my butt
when we're screwing; he says it's exciting to feel his
cock through my tissues as he thrusts in and out of me.
I'll admit the practice has a kind of "double your fun"
feel that turns me on a lot -- especially when I have my
legs hooked over his waist or just doubled up with my
knees next to his sides. In that last position, whether
I'm on top or underneath him, I always feel like I'm so
stuffed with Rich that any more would make me pop.
When I'm underneath I can feel his balls slap and move
around against my butt when he plunges down into me. At
such a moment if I'm close to exploding and he reaches
down to stick in his finger ("Unnhhh...'), it's off I go
to the rodeo. I'm glad he's careful to be gentle when he
does that, though. It keeps it erotic, not painful.
As for bringing in third parties or starting orgies with
others, I'm just not interested and hope he isn't
either. I only want to be with Rich. Once we got past
our initial fears, we were -- well, I was -- able to
accept our incestuous sex as something we both want to
do with and for each other.
I love Rich very much, more than I can find words to
express. I know absolutely that Rich loves me back. I
feel no shame around him. He can do whatever he wants
with me sexually, and I will do whatever he asks. I only
wish we didn't need to be so secretive, that we could
share what we have someplace other than anonymously on
the Internet.
I think Rich and I have discovered something joyful that
we can take with us into the future. I am very glad. I
do believe we'll probably both end up with spouses and
children, and probably we'll get less physical over the
years. I hope we never completely stop. The experience
has simply been too beautiful.
My only reservations have to do with a remark someone
made in one of the incest digests -- there's a big
difference between loving and falling in love. I've
loved Rich my whole life. He's been a terrific kid
brother and we never fought much. But right now I am
absolutely, deeply, and joyfully in love with him, sunk
happily into some sort of forbidden delirium that those
who have been there would no doubt recognize.
I have a strong sense that Rich is in love with me too,
though we haven't discussed it in those explicit terms.
I suspect Rich is being careful not to lay claims on me,
just as I am trying to do with him. We can't afford to
"own" each other.
If there weren't other important family members to
consider I could see us moving somewhere far away to
magically become "married" as far as outsiders were
concerned. Someone in this newsgroup mentioned doing
that with his mother!
Rich and I look dissimilar enough (different
complexions, for one thing) that we could probably pull
it off. But we do have other important family. Also, I
want to have kids of my own eventually, and I can't
safely do that with Rich.
Some people, especially those who launched into incest
as children or early adolescents, seem to take it in
stride as merely one more aspect of childhood
exploration. But I'm way past that now with Rich. Most
of all, I want to love Rich with all my heart, and if we
let this get too intense or if we get much more obvious,
I'm afraid things will become complicated. Someone
immediately outside our little circle of two could get
hurt. That fear kind of smudges the clarity of
everything else I've been feeling.
For now I guess I will just take it as it comes. I will
enjoy Rich when I see him, love him as hard as I can,
hope he loves me back for a long, long time, and let the
future take care of itself.
Now I'm going to turn off the computer, go to bed, take
care of some personal needs while thinking about Rich,
and go to sleep. I'm glad I could share all this
somewhere while it is still so wonderful and new, even
if it has to be anonymously.
Jeannie.in.love
***
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact
with a family member, and what impact that had on your
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:
...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)
...at what age
...who initiated the activity, and
...how you feel about it now
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story
will only be used to continue these postings. If you
would like to share your story, please send mail to
RankAmateur@WriteMe.com.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 16
From: Kelly (male)
I have had a great interest in adolescent sibling incest
since I was about 13 because of both experiences below
that happened to me.
One of my best friends in jr. high school, (who was male
and the same age) had sexual intercourse with his 17
year old sister on a regular basis. It started after she
walked in on him masturbating once and continued until
his older sister went off to college. This in spite of
the fact that both were popular in school, both good-
looking and had no shortage of dates, This was around
1975.
They are both quite happily married with families today
and neither seemed adversely affected. I know this case
is true, because both our families were close, and the 3
of us were very good friends. Our families took
vacations together and I spent a lot of weekends with
them at sleepovers.
After swearing me to secrecy, both he and his sister,
confided in me that they were having sex. We even
planned to have a tentative "3-fer" one weekend, but the
right opportunity never presented itself. We could never
get rid of a either set of our parents long enough, or
I'm sure it would have taken place.
Several years later around 1980 (when I was around 18) I
walked into my best friend's house. It was one afternoon
after school, and he and his 17 year-old sister were
home alone. (Incidentally, I was dating his sister at
this time).
After calling out for them in the kitchen and getting no
answer, I heard water running down the hall, and
realized the shower was running. Upon listening, I heard
their voices and giggling in low tones coming from the
bathroom.
It dawned on me that my best friend and his sister; who
was my girlfriend at the time, were taking showers
together. I slipped quietly back out into the kitchen
for a few moments and continued listening. I then heard
his sister start to quietly moan in what was obviously
sexual pleasure of some kind.
I left and came back later, never mentioning the
incident. Oddly enough, even though she was my
girlfriend at the time, the incident didn't make me
jealous at all. Quite the contrary, I found it rather
arousing. In a strange sort of way, I even felt safe in
the fact that she was "cheating" on me with her brother,
who I considered my best friend.
As twisted as this sounds, I was actually happy for both
of them that they had each other to do this with. I also
knew it was mutual and consenting by both, and felt safe
in the knowledge that her own brother would never do
anything to hurt her.
Once again both of these siblings are now married and
have families and are very close. Neither has been
adversely affected, insofar as I can see. {Just a
footnote, I continued dating his sister for 9 months
after this incident, but we broke-up when she left for
college}
Both of these events, which are 100% true, have aroused
in me an insatiable curiosity about sibling sexual
relations. Unfortunately, I am an only child, so I have
no personal experiences with a sibling of my own to draw
from. I, like yourself, believe that is one of the best
kept secrets of siblings and occurs FAR more than anyone
will admit because of its taboo nature.
It's just the law of averages. I cannot help but think,
that if I, as one person, have had experiences with 2
sets of siblings having sex, were neither set of sibling
couples knows each other at all, in a small middle-class
rural area of about 20,000; that this HAS to be much
more of a common practice than anyone will admit.
However, it is considered so perverse that almost no
printed matter exists on the subject to try and research
it. Believe me, I have tried. Tons of literature is
available on parent-child incest but almost nothing
exists on sibling incest.
What does exist is all geared to parents for prevention
of sibling sex in the adolescent years. There are no
case studies, interviews of past sexual siblings, or any
statistical figures to try to determine its magnitude.
That is the type information I am interested in.
That's why after running across your Newsgroup thread
using a search engine, I was so delighted to see that
someone else shares my interest and curiosity on this
subject. If anyone has e-mailed you any true experiences
on the subject, would you please consider e-mailing them
to me or tell me where on the web or Usenet is a good
source of information on this subject?
Also if you know of any sources to research it in book
form, would you be kind enough to please e-mail me that
information also. And if anyone responding has expressed
any interest in e-mail correspondence on the subject or
possibly forming an IRC chat area, I would be interested
in that also.
Thank you for taking time to read this rather lengthy
letter, and please feel free to add my two above
contributions to your research. Hope to hear from you
soon so I may finally get some answers to my 20 year
curiosity on this subject as well.
***
From: Jessica
I was browsing through the incest newsgroup recently,
and I saw the post you made, and I've decided that I'd
send a note about my own incest experience with my older
brother.
I come from a pretty average family, with two girls and
two boys. I have two older brothers and a younger
sister. The brother I'm going to tell about is Nathan,
the oldest.
Being a middle child, I never felt I got enough
attention, either good or bad, so I was always glad when
Nate would pay attention to me, and we did a lot of
things together. Not to mention that since he was a
senior in high school, he was living the "glamorous
life" and seemed so much older and wiser than I did,
being only eleven and in sixth grade yet.
One day we were goofing off, rolling around and
wrestling, and he let me pin him down. When I was
sitting on him, I felt something moving between his
legs, getting hard against my crotch.
He didn't seem to notice that anything was going on, but
that was the first time I'd thought about that area on
boys, and I felt some curiosity. Nothing happened that
time, but the idea was in my head.
As the weeks went by, I started to notice that Nate was
touching me a lot, even when he didn't have to. One
thing I always noticed was when he'd brush against my
breasts. They'd just begun to grow, and the nipples were
very sensitive, so it really grabbed my attention when
he'd bump into them.
Then came another occasion when we were wrestling
around, only this time he pinned me. I could feel his
crotch against mine, and I started to hump against him,
it seemed so natural.
That was when I learned that he'd noticed me noticing
his cock the last time it had happened. He kind of half-
closed his eyes and told me that it felt really good
when I did that. It felt pretty good to me too, and when
he put his hand between my legs and rubbed my pussy,
that felt even better.
That evening he snuck into my room and ate my pussy for
the first time. I didn't even know what an orgasm was,
and it took me completely by surprise. A good feeling in
my crotch that just got better and better until it
exploded. Who would have guessed?
Nate wanted to go farther than that, but I wasn't sure,
so I made him stop. I'm pretty sure he went back to his
room and masturbated.
Over the next couple evenings, Nate kept sneaking in and
giving me orgasms with his mouth, and even though I was
afraid our parents would catch us, I loved it.
Eventually, Nate got me so hot and bothered that I
agreed to let him take off his underwear and lie on top
of me. He rubbed his hard penis up and down on my
crotch, and surprised the hell out of me by ejaculating
on my belly.
We continued our "fun" for the next couple years, and
even though we couldn't have sex as often once he moved
out to college, we still got together when he was home.
I had boyfriends in high school, but I never did
anything sexual with them.
Then a couple weeks after I turned sixteen, I let Nathan
go all the way, and he took my virginity. He had a great
time, until he realized that I wasn't enjoying it as
much as he was. I hurt a lot and there was a lot of
blood. Nathan was very sorry, and couldn't stop
apologizing to me. I forgave him, but the next time he
was home, I wasn't as eager to have sex with him.
We had sex a couple times over the following years, but
it wasn't really the same. I knew that it was
irrational, but I kept remembering the pain of his first
penetration, and I couldn't get into it as much. I still
liked sex, but I was going farther with my boyfriend,
letting him take Nathan's place I guess. Then Nate got a
job on the west coast, and we started seeing him very
infrequently.
I still love my brother just as much as my other
siblings, and I have good memories of our early years of
sex. I don't think my relationship with him hurt me as
far as affecting my ability to have relationships with
men.
It was just a chapter in my life that is ended now. I'm
still aroused by the idea of incest, which is why I
browse the newsgroups, and that's why it's kind of hard
to understand what happened between us.
Anyway, that's my incest experience. I'm honestly not
sure what I'd do if Nathan wanted to have sex again, or
if my other brother suggested it.
***
From: Fran
Yes I have had a relationship that was of the incest
nature ... my daddy use to have me wear dresses without
panties and when he no one was looking he would kiss my
pussy never any intercourse... just oral... I would also
perform oral sex on him.
Now I am 36 and my husband is 61...and I am bisexual (he
does not know that) But I also know that he has had sex
with one of his daughters... got her pregnant and took
her to have an abortion... he still denies it but I know
it's true.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 17
From: Tom
My first sexual experiences were with family members. I
have no guilt over this, because I think it was normal
experimentation. My earliest recollection is from when I
was about 11 years old. My parents had a foot massager,
which was a device that plugged into the wall and had
two vibrating pads which you put your feet on.
One day I opened my pants and tried rubbing my penis
against it through my underwear. The sensations were
very strong and I had my first orgasm.
Later, I brought my younger brother down to the basement
and showed him. (He is a year younger than me.) After I
came, he tried it and came also.
We masturbated together with the massager on a regular
basis, and this led to other things. We began feeling
and rubbing each other's erections before using the
massager, and eventually engaged in mutual masturbation
without the massager.
We were always horny and looking for a chance to play
with each other. This went on for about a year, and then
one day I decided to try sucking him. I got between his
legs and took his little dick between my lips. I moved
my mouth around on it for a while. It was nice. He did
it to me afterwards.
I don't think either of us came that first time, but it
was very sexy and enjoyable. Sucking pretty much took
the place of masturbating after that. We would take
turns sucking each other to orgasms at every
opportunity. We often did it at night, since we shared a
room.
I think I began ejaculating when I was 12. He was
sucking me one night, and I ejaculated in his mouth. He
took my penis out right away.
We were both fascinated by my cum. I tasted it by
licking it off of his hand. He usually let me cum in his
mouth after that. He didn't start ejaculating until a
couple of years after that.
This went on until I was almost 16, but during the last
year or so our sex play tapered off greatly as we became
more interested in girls. We haven't spoken of it since,
and I consider us to both be heterosexual now, though I
often fantasize about sucking a guy.
I had one experience with my sister Wendy. I was 13 at
the time, and she was 15. It was a weekend day during
the winter, and my parents had gone to one of my
brother's hockey games. My sister's friend Nancy had
come over, and the two of them disappeared while I was
playing video games. I found them in our attic, which
had been fixed up as a den.
Nancy had brought over an x-rated video tape, and they
were watching it on the TV and VCR in the attic/den. I
walked in and busted them, and told them I wanted to
watch it too. I was thrilled by the tape.
We challenged each other to show our privates, and so I
took out my hard cock. They dropped their jeans. They
felt my penis, and I dared them to suck me. Both girls
refused at first, but then Nancy decided to do it. My
sister watched her, and then she decided to try it too.
It was very exciting.
I felt Wendy's pussy, and got them to show me their
breasts. Nancy encouraged me to lick my sister, so I
did. When I stopped, Nancy tried it. We took turns
licking her until she came. I was incredibly horny. I
wanted to fuck one of them, but they both refused.
I asked Wendy to lick Nancy, but she wouldn't. I ended
up masturbating and cumming all over the floor while I
felt Nancy's pussy.
Wendy was very embarrassed about it afterwards. She
swore to me that she had never had sex with a girl
before, and made me promise never to tell anybody. (She
wasn't aware of that our brother and I were fooling
around, and I didn't tell her. In retrospect, maybe I
should have.)
We never touched each other after that day, but it has
been a source of my fantasies ever since.
***
From: Alicia
Hi there, I read your post and thought it would be
interesting for you to know that I have had sex with my
nephew, my brother's son, almost every day in the two
weeks that he stayed with me in the summer of 95. He was
thirteen years old at the time and very curious about
sex and stuff.
I noticed that he watched me when I took a shower and I
confronted him with that. My husband was away for a
month and I was already quite horny, so it was
definitely me who wooed him. I said that if he wanted to
see me naked he should just say so and dropped my towel.
I let him touch my breasts and then asked him to
undress. I sucked his cock until he came and then made
him lie down on his back. I fucked him until we both
came.
After the first time, this happened every day until he
had to go home. I would start with kissing his dick and
let him come once, to make sure that it would take him
some time to come a second time, inside of me.
When he was back home again my brother called me to say
thanks and said that David, my nephew, was a different
person since he had stayed with me. I told my husband
what had happened and he did not mind. He said he wished
he had had such an aunt when he was thirteen years old!
Last summer my niece stayed with us, after David having
had such a nice time the year before, my brother and his
wife decided to let little Rachel stay with us.
I will send you a letter which Rachel sent us last week,
describing the wonderful things she found out with me
and my husband last summer.
Love, Alicia
***
From: Henrik
In my life there has been a experience with incest. To
be honest I am very careful with writing to you because
of safety reasons.
The experience has been with my sister and it hasn't
been a very pleasant one. I think that although we knew
what was going on, we were not prepared for the
consequences of our actions.
This all happened about six years ago when my sister was
19 and I was 23 years old. After the one time experience
we did not talk about it and left it like nothing
happened.
Naturally I thought a great deal about it after I got my
daughter. There is now an opportunity with my sister to
talk about the event and this gives me the possibility
to tell her that I still love her very much and that
what happened between us was not something that I see as
wrong but rather something that we needed to do in order
to learn and grow.
Still I am fascinated by incest on the mother/son
relation. This I can explain: When I was six months old
I was adopted by Dutch parents who lived in the U.S.A.
(Seattle).
Right from the moment of birth I was taken from my
biological mother so that I did not have any physical
contact with her. This is something that till the day of
today I miss. The protection and the welcome that I
think any person needs to start his or her life has been
something that no other woman and father could replace,
although my adoptive parents, especially my mother, have
tried to give it to me.
I am convinced that this gap has played a big role in my
sexual development in that I've been looking for love,
understanding and protection in the time where I was the
most vulnerable, my puberty.
Still I realize that putting my interest in the right
place, incest is rather a search for a protected place
where I can let go of all myself made restrictions in
order to stay healthy and in touch with myself. This of
course in order to survive.
I am very interested in talking more about this subject,
to find out and maybe help other people to understand
more of this taboo. A subject that hurts people instead
of elevating its taboo so that feelings of love don't
get twisted into a frustration that has a negative
effect on all the parties concerned.
To end this letter I would like to excuse for my English
grammar.
Though I'm Dutch I do my best to write as good as
possible.
[minor edits, spelling etc.]
***
From: Karl
The closest I have ever come to incest is having sex
with my first cousin and I do not regret it. Usually we
try to get alone every time she visits up here at my
mother's.
***
From: Nigel
Hi - please do me a favor - pass on a 'thank-you' to
Jeannie from my wife and I? We both enjoy her writing
style. I understand what she means when she says she
gets aroused writing her sexual memoirs. The same thing
happens to me if I detail an incredibly erotic
experience to someone.
Anyway, about 20 years ago when I was about 25, I moved
to England for several months. I was pretty lonely and
ended up making love to my cousin a few times. I guess
we both needed some physical companionship. There was
certainly no love involved.
Details are really sketchy - this was long long ago and
many many lovers ago. I don't remember there being any
'incest' thoughts really.
We hadn't seen each other since little kids so we were
complete strangers. I think if something had sparked, we
would have continued. It was probably the first time I
ever used a condom.
keep up the good work collecting and posting
***
[spoiler: negative experience]
From: Roger
my experience with my brother -- he 14 or 15 -- me 9 or
10 he was punishing me for something or another and
dragged me into our bedroom and stuck a knife in the
door so I could not get out. He took me to the bed and
told me to get undressed as he undressed himself. He
then forced me to have oral sex with him and then he
fucked me using shaving cream as lube. (to this day I
cannot shave with canned cream).
I remember when he came in my mouth I was freaked out -
never seeing cum being - as it was referred to in my
youth. I had no idea what this stuff all over my face
was.
of course I was told never to tell anyone...which I have
not until now. It happened one more time a few years
later - kind of fuzzy about the two times - but same
thing. He was babysitting, he got angry and fucked
little brother.
I don't remember if he sucked my cock or not but, I
think he did.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 18
Though incest is among society's strongest taboos,
statistics show a lot of us have done it -- or are doing
it. Whether as part of mutual exploration, seduction, or
even abuse, incest creates enduring memories with
emotional and erotic impact. This digest is one way of
discussing and illuminating this subject. Plus, the
stories are fun to share!
If you have an incest experience you would like to
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@writeme.com.
Anonymity guaranteed.
***
Jeannie & Her Younger Brother
Part III: Rich's Point of View
(mf, teen, cons, incest, true)
by Rich
NOTE FROM JEANNIE:
I've posted two long notes to the incest digest about my
relationship with my younger brother, Rich. I have no
regrets about the great sex we've been having. No one
ever made me feel so safe and I've never had my body
just go into overdrive like it does -- like I do -- when
I am being intimate with him.
I guess I should mention that I'm 19 and in college; my
brother Rich is 17 and still living at home, finishing
high school.
I do feel compassion for people with unhappy incest
histories. Their stories seem to share elements of
force, dishonesty, molestation, disrespect or betrayal
of trust. These dark undertows are missing from my
relationship with Rich and I know that is a blessing. My
guess is, any kind of sex must be truly consensual to
avoid damage to somebody. But I'm no expert. I just know
my sensual unfolding with Rich has been a gift.
This is a rounding-out to my story and then I will stop
posting.
For now.
This third installment was inspired when Rich, to my
surprise, visited me at my apartment this week, hundreds
of miles from home. It seems when his school let out for
the holidays he just jumped on the bus. During his visit
I have lost any lingering doubts about our relationship.
Rich loves me as much as I do him and wants to continue.
That may change for either of us in the future, but for
now we will just keep on exploring and enjoying each
other.
He is such a sweetie.
Rich wrote the main body of what follows, on my
computer, after I showed him my previous two notes. (I
decided if I could share this material on the Internet,
I'd better share it with him too.) It was his third
morning here, Saturday, and he was sitting nude at my
computer as he read, so I got to watch him go from soft
to hard due solely to my words. I love watching my
brother rise like that anytime, it's wonderfully sexy;
but knowing I had done it to him just by writing down my
memories...
It was entertaining, too. Once he got hard, he'd reach
down to kind of stroke or pull or squeeze at himself
every now and then while he read. I don't know if he was
aware of it and I didn't want to embarrass him, so I
didn't ask. I just watched and smiled while I finished
my coffee. In these notes I have tried to show how
sensual my experiences with Rich have been for me, and
now here was Rich's cock all popped up and waving around
in his lap, pulling his hand down like a magnet and
telling the world that m y words had exactly the effect
I wanted!
I really enjoy making my kid brother horny. It's fun and
the rewards tend to be terrific soon after. For
instance, this morning I found out that if Rich slouches
down on my computer chair I can straddle him front-to-
front, lower myself down and take him all the way up
inside of me. Well, it was a 2 inches down, half-inch up
sort of progress to adjust our tissues as we merged, but
that was fun too.
So there I sat on his lap, glued up against him while he
finished reading. It was intense, unhurried and sensual,
a treat. I closed my eyes to feel myself against (and
around) him and did a lot of sighing when he stirred
inside me. I even tried something a friend told me
about, squeezing my insides against his cock without
otherwise moving. He like it and it reminded my "body
awareness" of his presence inside me, and kept me wet
even when neither of us had moved for awhile.
After Rich finished reading we traded energies in
intimate ways, still sitting at the computer. (Mmmmmm;
nice; I hope we'll do it there again sometime.) Then he
wrote what follows.
Rich always makes me feel very good about myself. You'll
see why. I'm not nearly as beautiful as he claims but
it's his journal and if he wants to rhapsodize about me,
I guess I can take it! Anyway my brother's starlit view
of me makes it great to have him around and hasn't hurt
the terrific sex we keep having either.
This intro is long enough so I'll just paste Rich's note
in and send it on to RankAmateur@writeme.com for the
incest digest, if Rank even wants another one from me!
Well, it's really from Rich. My only suggestion was to
run a spell-checker. If you read my previous notes,
you'll see what Rich means by different points of view.
Some of the differences in what we remembered made me
laugh. I think I will let him peek down my shirt
whenever he wants, the rat.
- "J." (still smiling)
Some people might think Jeannie and I are sick or crazy
but I don't care. I'm writing this because Jeannie
showed me her Internet notes and asked if I wanted to
write my point of view. I guess Jeannie needs to work
stuff out in writing, that's why she's taking journalism
maybe.
She's a good writer so I guess she thinks she can read
her notes when she is 80 and remember how it is between
us now. I would like it to still be the same but even if
it is not I do not think I will need a note to remember.
She surprised me how she wrote about everything even how
she first did me when I was 15, I felt weird about it
but then I thought, she must really trust me, and then I
thought, it's under false names so I guess it's okay.
Then I settled down and realized it was turning me on a
lot to read her memories, they are pretty close to mine
but not exactly the same, I guess that's why people have
a different point of view from each other. I never knew
I was all that good to be worth writing about with words
like those. Maybe I should have a harem if Jeannie ever
gets tired of me!
She wants me to write how I feel so I will. I love
Jeannie. Period. That part is simple. I want to be with
her and make her happy which is tough since we are
related. That part is complicated. That is how I feel,
maybe it will change when I get older but I won't worry
about that yet.
She says I should write more so I will but don't expect
good writing like hers. I can add some things she didn't
say plus I know things that she doesn't such as that she
is a fox and such as I can love her without being
damaged even if she drops me to move on with her life
later, 17 is plenty old enough to know those things and
she's only 19 herself.
Here's how I got to read her notes. After we had sex at
home and Jeannie left back for college I couldn't get
her out of my mind. Maybe she's my sister but I wish she
wasn't, I would be able to love her and we wouldn't have
to sneak around. I know she loves me but I think she is
scared of what we are doing so I try to be careful and
never pushy since I am already lucky enough.
When you love someone that is doing something risky with
you is no time to get careless with that person. But
this isn't some stupid grammar school deal, we lived our
whole lives together and didn't rush into this even if
it did start by accident.
Jeannie said we could love each other's bodies as long
as I wanted or felt comfortable with it (her words). As
if I might want to stop. But when she left I felt like
was it real? I'm just her kid brother, I could see some
jock coming along and Jeannie going for him and
realizing something like, it was just a fling and I
don't know what I'm doing and how can she go out in
public with me.
Then she would try to end it without hurting my
feelings, I'm no coward but that was not fun to think.
Or maybe Jeannie would feel bad about seducing me in the
first place since she already said she was afraid of
hurting my emotions. Then she might decide to do
something for my own good that would prove I am just a
dumb kid brother and what we did never really meant
anything, I didn't say that too well anyway I did not
feel certain of much.
Personally I don't think love can hurt anyone unless
somebody takes unfair advantage which is not like
Jeannie to do, or lays their own ideas on others even
though it is none of their business which I think is how
things usually work since the world is full of jerks.
They are why we hide and who can do that forever?, a
girl like Jeannie deserves better, in her place I would
not pick me.
Now I know Jeannie does want to love me for as long as
we can manage but when she left I had doubts and was
bothered. When my school let out before hers I told Mom
I wanted to see her college, I might try to go there if
it had good engineering classes. Of course I don't get
all A's like Jeannie.
She got a scholarship but I probably can't and Mom
raised us up on her own by being a copy editor, Dad
never helped much until lately. He stopped drinking now
and Mom says he has a good job, maybe he can help with
college after I graduate next year. Anyway Mom said go
ahead and see the school so I took the Greyhound bus
down here.
I got in late and didn't tell Jeannie I was coming, I
was afraid she would say not to. So I called when I got
to town and she asked what I was doing, I told her I
came to see the school and where could I get a room? in
case she didn't want me to come over. She laughed at me
and said to come to her place, she has her own apartment
off the campus. She told me how to get there so I walked
over, it was pretty close. Jeannie answered the door
right away and grabbed my arm and pulled me inside, then
she laughed and hugged me hard and I hugged her back and
we kissed and I was glad I came.
She told me I was crazy and I said what's new, she said
she was really glad to hear my voice on the phone, I
asked why and she said she really needed some hugs from
me so I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her back
and she hugged me and kind of moved softly against me
and sighed and made me feel good.
After that she locked the door and said she already
called Mom to say I got there okay and would sleep over
on the couch. She smiled kind of sideways when she told
me that so I figured out she didn't have any second
thoughts about us yet. While she moved around the
apartment I just watched her, I think I was grinning
kind of goofy, well anyone might have in my place.
Jeannie was wearing sort of a long thin T-shirt that
came about halfway down her thighs and had a picture of
a kitten on it. I could tell she didn't have anything
else on at least not on top because I could see her
nipples poking out against the cloth, one of them poked
the kitten in the eye. I love Jeannie's breasts and
nipples.
I want to set something straight. Jeannie says in her
notes that she isn't beautiful and she told me that same
thing but she's wrong. Her beauty is not in the eye of
the beholder like she said, it's in her for real. She
thinks she is just thin but most thin girls have flat
chests and skinny legs and Jeannie's breasts are
beautiful, not huge but not flat either and her legs are
perfect for her height which isn't all that tall.
There is a little triangle space between her thighs
right under her crotch, you can see through it when she
stands up which looks way hot. Her breasts are soft to
hold and stroke, they fit my hand perfect and they don't
fold over when she stands. Her nipples are perfect
sized, not tiny but not splashed all over like a sloppy
paint job either, just the right size for her breasts.
When she stands her nipples kind of point up and outward
a little, you might have seen statues or pictures like
that. They don't bulge into each other, so you can look
up between them at her face if you are lying down
together and rest your cheek on her stomach.
If she is on her hands and knees naked which I am lucky
enough to see from time to time her breasts keep a
beautiful shape, they don't dangle down like udders or
marble bags or something. Jeannie's breasts always make
you want to stroke them with love.
I have memorized Jeannie's breasts so I can see them
even when she is not here. Jeannie knows I take pictures
in my mind and seeing her smile at me when I rest my
cheek on her stomach and look up between her breasts is
one of my favorites.
I love how all of her looks naked. She has a really long
straight back with a beautiful arch down to her behind
which fills out a swimsuit perfect, not too big but
still plenty round. Her legs are strong not bony and
they don't have fat dimples.
Her hips are not wide but her waist is small so her hips
swell out just right without making her body look like a
broomstick stuck on top of an oil drum, I told you
Jeannie was the writer not me. But that's not all. She
always looks like she has a tan because we have some
Indian blood on Mom's side, it makes her skin really
pretty. I have lighter skin from the Irish on Dad's side
which Jeannie says she likes okay but hers is really
great looking.
When she walks around at the pool in that body and that
skin wearing a bikini you can see all these guys and
lots of girls turn their heads to look but Jeannie
doesn't even seem aware. She says guys have heads that
were designed to swivel and girls always compare
themselves to other girls and none of it means anything.
She just thinks she is too thin no matter what I say
otherwise.
Her face is beautiful too, she has green eyes from the
Irish side and a small nose and almost perfect teeth but
one of her eyeteeth is not quite in line so when she
smiles it's like just that little bit off from perfect
that makes you know she is real. When she smiles you
want to be with her so other people will notice and wish
they were you.
Her hair looks like she has been out in the sun a lot
even in the winter time. Jeannie is a fox who never
noticed because she was too busy with school. Any of my
friends will tell you what a fox she is even if she
called them swivel-headed idiots once. She says a
boyfriend told her she looks like a pixie but she looks
more like an elf to me with her big green eyes and slim
bikini body and that smile. She's perfect. Of course I
love her but like I said ask anyone. She could be in a
magazine.
Another thing and when Jeannie reads this I hope she
will laugh. That first time when she took care of my
overload by giving me a hand job (and it was a great
one) I told her I got hard because her washing my
stomach felt so good and it did feel terrific but the
truth is, I did not have my eyes closed like she
thought.
I just had my eyelids mostly lowered to seem closed so I
could peek down her shirt when she bent over, she wasn't
wearing a bra so I had a perfect view and could see her
nipples and everything. I had a woody ever since she
leaned over to put a pillow behind my head so I could
eat some toast and there they were, Jeannie's beautiful
boobs about six inches in front of my eyes. She says I
was smiling I bet I was.
When she washed me she was moving around a lot but still
leaning over so I got different views, it was hot. She
says it wasn't sexual but tell it to my woody. When she
pulled down the blanket to change the bedding and looked
up it took me awhile to realize she was staring at my
hard-on and then I really wished I could disappear.
Then she got all tender and told me it was okay to be a
male and one thing led to another and then I didn't want
to admit I had just been sneaking horny looks down her
shirt. I was afraid she would get mad. So that's what
really happened.
Her note seems like I was very sure of myself saying
"Let's go to my room" after we kissed. The truth is I
didn't want her to change her mind. She was a little
shaky at first I guess they call it trembling and then
we kissed and then we were just standing there pressed
up against each other all calm like and moving softly
against each other and she stopped being twitchy and me,
I couldn't believe this was real.
It was a wish coming true that I had wished for years.
And then somebody drove by in a car outside and Jeannie
got all tense again, jumpy like, and I could feel my
wish fading out. She doesn't mention the car in her
note. I asked her to come to my room because I didn't
want her to run away and I thought maybe we could be
more relaxed there.
Even after we got upstairs it still didn't seem real
until I started undoing her shirt buttons and she put
her hands on my waist while we kissed and then looked up
at my face while I undid more buttons. She was biting
her lip and smiling at the same time like her face was
having a fight with itself, she looked like she wanted
to stay but run away.
Her note says that's when I figured out she didn't have
a bra on but I already knew that from downstairs when we
hugged and I stroked her back and soaked up everything
into my mind about her that I could, like that she
smelled good and felt soft against me and didn't have a
bra on and so forth.
I should tell this. When she asked me in the living room
to hug her so she could talk I thought maybe somebody
had hurt her and I would have to get vengeful which is
not something I usually do. Or she would tell me
somebody found out what we did.
I don't know, it just felt like it would be bad is all.
Then she said she wanted to make love but she seemed
like scared of me which I didn't understand so I kissed
her and stroked her long back. When I felt her softness
moving against me is when I hoped it could really be
true.
What happened upstairs that she noticed when I looked
down from our kiss and saw her shirt almost open and
felt her hands resting on my waist was, I finally got it
that she really wanted to not stop until we were
finished. When I ran my finger down her front I was
just, you know, touching her. It was amazing to me that
I would not wake up wet and sticky and alone like
sometimes when I dream about Jeannie and wake up
spouting jizm all over the bed, if that is how you spell
it.
I hope she doesn't mind that I h ad hot dreams about her
since I was 13 or so, we have done some amazing things
together in my dreams and I saw her in my mind with
various Penthouse models crotches since I didn't know
what hers was like until she showed me when I was 15.
Hers is beautiful like the rest of Jeannie.
I'm glad Jeannie likes my cock. I used to worry about
what some Comedy Central guy called the only two
important questions, "Is it big enough and where can I
put it", but now the only person who matters says she
likes it so I can stop worrying.
After Jeannie let me explore and taste her body and then
she did me back it was just like she said and I will not
ever forget, I shot into her throat so hard it hurt.
Often she swallows me completely by just letting me into
her throat, what they call deep throat. I think she does
not know it is considered unusual and hard for a girl to
do that. I usually come right away at those times and
the feeling of her tongue against me when she swallows
is impossible to write down in words. I wish I could do
something that amazing for her but she seems happy with
me so I won't complain to the student newspaper.
Another thing, when I tasted her body and heard her
little Jeannie noises for the very first time, and she
did me back, she sort of wriggled herself back up my
body just like her note said and dozed off with her head
on my chest. What she didn't know was she slept for over
an hour and I just held her and felt blessed. That might
sound wrong considering what we had been doing but I
still felt blessed and holy.
She had her right hand on the left side of my chest and
her hair spread out down my right side to t he bed. Her
left leg was stretched out straight so she touched me
all the way down my right side to my calf. She had her
right knee drawn up onto my stomach, by looking over her
head I could see a little fold of skin where her leg
bent up from her body. I felt her breath against my
chest, it was soft and even.
I could see where her hip made that soft, beautiful
curve up from her waist. In front, her pubic hair looked
dark against my skin, I could just see where the
triangle of it started under where her leg bent up onto
me. Her stomach moved gently against me with her
breathing.
I felt her breasts against me, one against my upper
stomach the other pressed against my side, the upper one
moved against my skin when she snuggled against me or
moved in her sleep every now and then. All this is a
photograph in my mind. I could have just laid there all
night holding her beautiful sleeping naked self against
me but Mom and Jody got home so we had to scurry.
I wish we didn't have to hide. Jeannie said in her note
that she put her pants and shirt back on, that's exactly
what she did. She left her panties at the foot of my bed
and later I put them into my closet. Sometimes at home
after she left if I needed to jack off I took them down
to feel them and smell them where they had been wet from
her juices. It sounds weird but in a way it was like
having Jeannie actually there when I miss her which is
often.
Jeannie's completely right about one thing, that time in
the motel at the end of her vacation was the first time
I "went all the way" as she put it with anyone. Every
one of my sex first times except for jacking off has
been with Jeannie and I only discovered jacking off by
accident when I was 12.
Not that I didn't brag at school but I never really had
any luck or maybe I didn't want any to tell the truth.
One girl gave me a few hand jobs on dates when I was 16
but she was boring and tried to own me which I
discovered I couldn't stand, she needed to go buy a
brain at the brain mall. I have only ever told how much
I love Jeannie here. Except to her of course.
Jeannie said (her words in her note) that being my first
woman was glorious and enthralling. I'm sure. Here's
glorious me, I was so nervous I went soft and couldn't
put it into her. We were on our sides facing each other
and she had put her knees around the outside of my legs
and was looking across the pillow at me with her eyes
half closed and I just lost it which made me confused
but Jeannie reached down to hold my cock and whispered
stuff like "it's okay Rich" and "just be here with me"
and I got hard again.
She said maybe I should try being on top and she rolled
over on her back with her legs apart and her knees up a
little so I could lie down on her. I went over between
her legs on my knees and started to lower myself onto
her but then I bent a little more and kissed her on her
clitoris because I love the little sounds she makes when
I do something right and I needed to do something right
for a change and she made that little noise I love so I
did it some more.
Then I moved up and kissed her nipple and I was going to
try to start screwing but then I blew it again, I just
couldn't do it right. My mistake this time was I read
somewhere that a gentleman puts his weight on his elbows
so I tried that but it didn't work because she wanted to
reach between us to put my cock at the entrance to her
and my arms were in the way.
She said she wanted to feel all my weight on top of her
so she could touch me with all of her skin that she
could or something like that. What a relief. Then she
was able to reach down and grab me and point me to the
right place. Her guiding me with her hand like that felt
great. When I pushed down at her she wrapped her arms
around my back and hooked her heels over my legs by my
knees and pushed back up at me.
When I got all the way down inside of her maybe it was
the warm, wet, tight, slick feeling of having Jeannie
all around my cock (and she WANTED me there) or the
little Jeannie noise she made when I got to the bottom
so we touched all along our bodies, or the feeling of my
balls resting against her, below where I went in. (She
doesn't like the word cunt so I won't say it either.)
Or maybe I was just scared, my heart sure was going
fast. Anyway I got about two strokes done and lost it
all in one long dribble. It was the second time I wished
I could go hide somewhere instead of facing her. I'm
telling about this so you'll know what kind of girl
Jeannie is, she pretended it was wonderful and she
didn't laugh once.
After I fizzled out she held my glorious self on top of
her for awhile, I felt her pushing down on my butt with
her legs. Then she hooked her heels over the insides of
my thighs and held me like that while she rocked me back
and forth, just kind of moving against me softly for
awhile. I don't know if she had an orgasm but if it was
me I wouldn't have.
She said to stay inside of her even though I was fizzled
out so I did and kept busy kissing and licking at her
neck and shoulder and she kissed me back in the same
places. Finally she put her legs back down and kissed my
shoulder and my stupid pee hose fell back out of her so
I lifted myself off and lay down beside her and didn't
feel too proud.
When I looked over at her she looked back and smiled. I
put my hand on her breast and told her I was sorry. She
put her hand over mine and said it was exactly right for
being my first time with her, she said if I hadn't been
too excited to last very long she would have thought
something was wrong with her.
She was just looking at me and smiling and kind of
playing with my ear. Then she said "This was your first
time ever wasn't it" so I admitted it was. She rolled up
on her side facing me and hugged me real hard, I felt
her whole body pressing against me and her legs were
kind of tangled up with mine and I held her hard too and
tried to make it like we were not two separate people.
Jeannie's back sort of shook and I was afraid she was
laughing then I felt a drop roll down my chest from
where she had her face pressed against me. I said
"Jeannie?" and she looked up at me and I saw her eyes
had some tears, she said "I just love you so much" and
went back to hugging me. It made me feel, you know,
okay. Even if I wasn't much good at sex.
The time I like to pretend was my first time was really
my second, about an hour after. We talked a lot once she
stopped sniffling and hugging me so hard, I don't
remember about what but it was relaxing. She asked what
I wanted to do, like maybe we should go watch TV or
something. I told her I liked whatever we did but most
of all I wanted to try again to see her across the
pillow while I was inside of her, like we almost did
before, on our sides before I flunked my first test so
to speak.
I told her she was beautiful and I wanted to just love
her and take a picture of her looking back at me while I
felt her all around me, she knows I take pictures in my
mind. She moved toward me and before I knew it we were
kissing again.
She says she likes how I kiss. Actually I just like to
taste her and feel her against me and by kissing I can
concentrate on that. Not like when I'm building up to
come or trying to make Jeannie feel magic herself.
Kissing let's you just concentrate and feel each other
like the other person takes up your whole entire space
instead of only the high voltage parts. I love the
feeling of that with Jeannie.
Anyway we were kissing and I started getting hard again,
so I told her to roll over on her stomach and she did. I
got up and kneeled over her straddling her thighs so my
cock was lying along the crack of her butt, and I leaned
forward and started massaging her shoulders and back.
She kind of wiggled her butt against me so I leaned all
the way forward and pressed my front against her long
back for a minute and then started kissing my way down.
When I couldn't double over any more I went back to
rubbing and massaging her and moved down a little so I
could massage her butt. I love the way it looks and
feels when I put the side of my hand into the crack
there so I can massage one side, then I do the other
side, and she arches up at me and I can see her little
butt hole and her sexual parts moving around as I
squeeze and massage her rear end. She's built kind of
complicated in her sexual parts and I don't think I will
ever get tired of exploring and looking at her.
Anyway I was getting loaded up again and needing relief
and Jeannie said she was ready too. I lay down next to
her on my side and she rolled up on her side facing me
and smiled and she lifted her left knee over my hip. I
reached down between her legs and could feel she was wet
down there and as my finger went in she made that little
sound of hers. I lifted my hip off the bed and she slid
her other knee under me, so now I was lying between her
legs and we still hadn't touched our fronts together.
I don't know if this is a normal procedure. Anyway I had
one finger inside of her from the front and she reached
down to grab my cock and moved it toward where my finger
was so I took it back out of her secret place and moved
my hand up to her breast to play with her nipple. She
sighed real deep and moved her hips toward me and I felt
myself start to go inside of her so I moved my own hips
forward to meet her and glanced down between us.
I saw myself going up inside her, right between her legs
which I had never seen before with anyone and I had to
shut my eyes for a minute to calm down. When I opened
them I could look between us without going back to
dribble city and it was magic to see, I could see her
breasts, one was against the bed and the other was above
it almost resting against the first but still separated
and I had my hand against it.
My crotch was pressed right up against hers and I could
feel sweet hot slippery Jeannie all around it so I
pulled back out most of the way and saw I was all slick
with her. I looked back up her body as I pushed myself
back in slowly and when I got to her face she was
watching me with her eyes half closed again and biting
her lip which sometimes means she is nervous so I told
she is beautiful and I love her.
You know I meant it. Jeannie does not bore me and she
can own me if she wants but she does not seem to want
to, but if any part of me is worth anything at all then
that part belongs to her if she wants it.
Anyway what was great was that I could watch my cock
going inside of her and feel that hot slippery feeling
all around me and this time I didn't lose everything. We
stroked against each other slowly for a time and I moved
my hand down her back, then along her side so I could
feel the swell of her hip which I love, then around in
back to feel where her leg bent up from her body.
By reaching behind and pressing against the side of her
crotch just inside of her legs I could feel myself
slipping in and out of her and feel the motions she made
with her own hips to meet my slow rhythm. I lay my hand
down along her butt with my middle finger along the
crack and sort of rubbed in little circles at her anus
(I am trying to use the same words she uses) and she
made her Jeannie sound and then kind of whimpered and I
knew I was about to lose it so I started stroking harder
as I felt my climax build.
When it hit I pressed my hand against her behind as hard
as I could so I could go all the way up into her, like I
was trying to disappear inside of her or something, and
then I exploded. She was making her noises and saying my
name and as I poured myself into her I just kept saying
"I love you Jeannie oh Jeannie I love you so much
Jeannie" and so forth.
When it was over we still kept rocking against each
other for awhile, then she reached behind me with her
arms and pulled me tight against her and we just held
onto each other like that for a long time, pressed
together while laying on our sides. It felt like when
she went to sleep resting her cheek on my chest at
Thanksgiving and I could have stayed like that all
night, only this time I was inside of her and we didn't
have to worry about Mom and Jody. It was peaceful and I
felt blessed again.
There. That's my first and second times and they were
both with Jeannie and I am very glad they were with no
one else. It might have been nice if I had also been
Jeannie's first but actually I'm glad she knew more than
I did or I might have jumped out the window when I was
done being so glorious and enthralling the first time.
Now I'm sitting here writing. When I first got here,
after Jeannie locked the door, she offered me hot cocoa
or a beer if I wanted one and I told her I just wanted
to hold her. We kissed again and she started unbuttoning
my shirt which I dropped on the floor, then she
unbuttoned my pants. Meantime I put my hands down along
her sides and around to her beautiful butt and squeezed
it through her kitten T-shirt, then pulled the shirt up
to feel her butt directly.
She had panties on so I got to do one of my favorite
things, I put my hands down inside her panties on her
wonderful firm round behind and massaged and squeezed
and stroked, then reached down further to lay my finger
along her sexual parts. She is always wet down there by
the time I get there and she arches her back so I can
put my finger inside her which is what happened this
time too.
By this time she had her hand on my cock and was
squeezing. I took my finger out of her center (as she
calls it) and lifted her up by her butt and she wrapped
her legs around me while I carried her to her bed in the
other room. Then we finished getting undressed and I
tasted her body from top to bottom and front to back and
heard her make her little sounds and call out my name
and felt her raise her middle up from the bed toward me
as I worked on her with my tongue and hands.
I am gradually learning her body's little secret places
that bring magic to her. These are wonderful secrets to
know.
Then she did the same for me and I exploded into her
mouth and then we went to sleep without cocoa or beer or
anything but each other. We woke up once about 4 in the
morning and I had a sleep hard-on so she pulled me over
to her while we were half asleep, lying on our sides
again which I think is my favorite position so far, not
that we have tried that many. I sank my cock inside her
as she pushed her hips forward to meet me and we had a
long slow peaceful screw, then we went back to sleep in
each other's arms and it felt fine.
The next morning she made breakfast and got dressed and
went to her classes. I washed the dishes and just kind
of day dreamed about her until she got back. Then we
went out walking around the town and she showed me
places and we had hamburgers and walked through the
campus and went home and I cooked spaghetti and we made
love a couple of times and talked for hours and finally
went to sleep again. This is the kind of day I could
enjoy all the time. I could make my life out of days
like this.
This morning with the curtains closed we had coffee
together naked and she told me about her Internet notes
and asked if I wanted to read them. I said yes, so she
turned on her computer and told me to sit and read the
notes which she put on the screen. I did and it blew me
away. I found out that what happened back when I was
tied up in bed with pulleys and ropes after my wreck was
as important to her as it was to me. Then I read about
our Thanksgiving reunion which seemed in her note like
it was all about s ex but was really about a lot more if
you ask me.
I'll admit that when I told her I always dreamed about
her I meant I day dreamed about her a lot which didn't
help my grades and also that she was usually right there
in my mind naked with me when I jacked off. I already
told about waking up goopy from dreaming about her so I
didn't exactly lie to her about the dreams. I just
didn't want to seem freaky by being crude so I said
dreaming and left it like that.
Now it turns out she thought about me when she
masturbated too. I never would have thought of that, it
made me feel good. I wonder if girls have wet dreams
like boys. Girl versions I mean. I probably didn't pay
attention in sex ed.
Anyhow when I read her sex notes I naturally got this
screaming woody. It was great because she came over and
sat down on my lap, facing me with one leg on either
side and my cock up inside her. I started to try to hump
up at her but she said "Shhhh" and then told me to
settle down and keep reading, then she kind of pressed
up against me and did not move around much while I read
but sometimes I could feel her taking a deep breath.
Then she started squeezing my cock with her vagina which
is quite a feeling, I heard about that before but I
figured it was just a story.
Jeannie does a lot of stuff that most girls probably
don't know how to do, she just seems to know how
naturally, which is not something I will complain about.
If she didn't enjoy it so much or hadn't decided to love
me I would not be this happy.
A lot of what we did over Thanksgiving sounds kind of
dirty the way she told it but just felt loving and
tender at the time, of course it was also way hot.
Jeannie says she just wants to write down everything
accurately like a journalist and if reading it gets me
all excited then she did a good job of telling how it
was since we were both awfully excited while it
happened.
She says she wants to never forget how intense it was.
"We were breathing steam" is what she said about it
being intense. I like the way she talks and writes.
Right after I finished reading her notes while she was
still hugged up to me on the chair I asked if what we
were doing was wrong. She said she didn't know and what
did I think. I told her I didn't want it to be wrong, it
felt so natural I wanted it to last forever. I said I
wished I could find out I was adopted so we wouldn't
have to worry about it. She laughed and wriggled up
against me to hug tighter which moved her against me
where I was inside her, so I moved around against her in
response and one thin g led to another.
I like screwing in different positions because it lets
me experience Jeannie in different ways. Sitting on me
in the chair her face was even with mine and I could
photograph her in my mind as we built up to trade our
energies, as Jeannie puts it. She has a lot of cool ways
to describe coming. Or cumming but Jeannie doesn't spell
it that way.
I think she will need a stronger computer chair because
I almost broke it by leaning as far back as I could to
photograph her in my mind while I played with her
breasts and we moved against each other and built up our
energies. When Jeannie comes her face gets all inward
and she kind of curls one side of her mouth out, her
lips I mean, and she moves her head down and to the side
while she takes little raggedy breaths and makes her
Jeannie noises. Sometimes she says my name which I like
a lot. Sometimes I call out her name too.
She said I should write this from my own viewpoint so I
did. I am very lucky and I feel sorry for other people
who do not have Jeannie to make them as happy as I am.
- By Jeannie's Brother Rich -
NEXT DAY
This is Sunday morning and since Jeannie didn't send
this out yet I read her introduction and now I feel like
adding some more, skip the rest of this if you like.
This morning I did the dishes from last night while she
snoozed in the other room. When I finished I went in to
watch her sleep for awhile and she opened her eyes and
saw me and smiled then she went back to sleep still
smiling and I took a picture for my mind. She had one
leg bent up so she was half on her side and half on her
stomach and her hair was all tousled on the pillow.
Her arm and her naked shoulder were outside the covers,
we generally wind up sleeping naked for one reason or
another but usually for one reason in particular.
Jeannie sleeping all tousled and naked and peaceful
under the covers is a good picture.
Last night about 4 in the morning I woke up and went to
the bathroom to pee. Jeannie seemed to be asleep when I
got back so I settled in and dozed off. The next thing I
knew she woke me up by getting me to grow hard inside
her mouth.
That's an unbelievable feeling to wake up to. She did it
once before, after my bicycle accident.
I let her play with me like that until my energy started
to build, then I twisted us around so I could taste her
too. When I let loose in her mouth and felt her tongue
against me swallowing I sucked at her little nubbin and
stroked it with my tongue and stuck a finger into her
vagina and another into her butt because I can tell she
likes it.
She was making Jeannie noises and then her legs
tightened against my head and she hunched her center
toward me and had an orgasm just as I was finishing
mine, I tried to help her draw it out as long as I
could, she can come for lots longer than me sometimes.
Then she smiled up at me and we turned around and pulled
up the blanket and she cuddled up against me with her
head on my chest like she did that first time at
Thanksgiving, then she closed her eyes and went right
back to sleep.
I lay there holding her in my arms all naked and
peaceful and I felt joyful and lucky. I didn't want to
go back to sleep but then after awhile I did.
Tomorrow I will go home because Jeannie has some tests
to study for but she'll be back for Xmas a few days
after. I can't get enough of being with her and holding
her and playing with her body and making love and
talking with her and taking walks holding hands (she
introduced me to a friend as Rich today not "my brother
Rich") and falling asleep together and waking up
together to do it all some more.
I hope I can come to this college next year. Maybe it
would seem okay for a brother and sister to share an
apartment if she wants to. Maybe we can pretend we're
not related. Or maybe she'll want to stop, which would
make me sad but now I could handle it better than before
I came down here and found out it is just as real for
her as it is for me.
I love Jeannie. Every bit of me, I love Jeannie and will
love her for as long as she lets me, then I will love
her as a brother if that's all I can do. But I will
never stop loving her one way or another. There's
nothing wrong with incest if you love and respect each
other. That's how I feel about it.
- By Rich -
***
FROM THE EDITOR
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact
with a family member, and what impact that had on your
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:
...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)
...at what age
...who initiated the activity, and
...how you feel about it now
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story
will only be used to continue these postings. If you
would like to share your story, please send mail to
RankAmateur@writeme.com.
NOTE: From now on I will make the even issues of the
digest one long contribution, and odd issues will be
compilations as before. As long as I keep getting
lengthy contributions, of course!
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 19
Ed. note: This issue contains a couple of borderline
fantasies (q.v. Freud and Nancy Friday: the most
fervently desired events, perhaps even with a germ of
truth, become seared in our minds as real as if they
truly occurred).
While my interest is more in experiences than fantasy, I
include these for two reasons: I don't like to judge my
contributors, and they are interesting in their own
right as different explorations of the incest theme.
***
From: Jack
My relationship with my sister began one Summer night
shortly after her 17th birthday; I was 14 and in the
throes of puberty. She was a fairly well-developed young
woman who had just broken up with her steady boyfriend.
Our relationship had never been close, and was
particularly bad this week.
She had caught me sniffing a pair of her panties I'd
retrieved from the hamper - I'd wanted to know what a
female smelled like "there" - and needed something to
fuel a masturbatory fantasy.
She'd asked me what I was doing. I mumbled something
apologetic amidst her threats of telling our parents. I
assumed she wouldn't follow through, as she rarely did.
Plus I thought I detected a gleam of fascination with me
holding her panties to my face.
She was in a particularly bad mood that weekend, as our
parents were away for a business trip, and she was
assigned to stay at home for the weekend and "babysit"
me.
She made no secret of how disgusted she was at being
"grounded," and fully blamed my presence on earth for
her troubles. I was staying well clear of here, watching
television in the family room while she played some
music in our parent's bar, or entertainment area.
When she came into the family room, I thought I detected
an odor of wine on her breath, as she had a fondness for
wine coolers. She'd bathed earlier, and was wearing a
thin cotton robe over some sort of "baby doll" pajama
outfit. Her shapely, tanned legs had always fascinated
me, and I tried to ignore their attractiveness now.
She sat across from me on the couch, stretching those
long, shapely legs out on front of her. Her pretty face
was flushed from the wine, contrasting nicely with her
sun-bleached hair.
"What were you doing with my panties the other day?" she
asked, her words slurring slightly from the wine.
I mumbled something incoherent, hoping she'd drop the
subject, as it really embarrassed me. She kept after it
however, and I finally had to admit my desire.
"I wanted to see what a girl smelled like down there," I
confessed. This seemed to please her, as a smile crept
over her face.
"Why didn't you just ask?"
Her question surprised me, as she had always tried to
deny my existence. I told the truth.
"I didn't think you'd let me, if you knew I wondered."
"Did you find out what you wanted to know?" came her
teasing reply.
"No, you came in before I could find out." Emboldened, I
added, "Besides, I'd tried it before, but I guess they
were in the hamper too long."
"Why don't you try a fresh pair, then?" she asked, a
mischievous grin spreading cross her pretty, tanned
face.
I could only gulp out an intelligible reply...figuring
the wine had the best of her.
"Do you want to smell the pair I'm wearing now?" As she
asked me, she stood up, and placing her hands under her
robe, dropped her pair of panties to the floor.
My eyes fastened on them, mesmerized. I was afraid to
move, not wanting to break the mood, also realizing that
I had a boner under my own pajamas. She hooked them with
the toes of her foot, and kicked them across the room to
me. I caught a fleeting glance of her pubic hair as she
kicked them to me, and felt my hardness stiffen even
more.
"Go ahead, see what it smells like," she commanded.
Picking them up, I could feel her dampness on the silky
crotch of her underpants. Unable to resist, I raised
them to my face, inhaling the fantastic flavor. I wanted
them to stay on my nose forever.
"Like it?" Her question interrupted my reverie.
I could only nod and grunt, not trusting my own voice or
emotions. Her next question totally floored me.
"Want to smell the real thing?" She'd remained standing
opposite me, her hands on her hips in a challenging
pose.
I was mute. I wanted to accept her challenge, but was
...well, afraid to proceed. She turned with a swirl her
open robe revealing her parted thighs barely covered by
the top of her outfit. She walked to the stairs with a
twitch of her hips. She looked at me with a grin, and
offered again, "If you want to, I'll be upstairs."
With that she went up the steps, where our two bedrooms
and adjacent bath made up the entire upstairs.
It didn't take me long to decide..I turned off the TV
and went up the stairway, my heart pounding in my
throat. At the top of the stairs I paused, not sure of
whether to go to her room, or to my own and masturbate
with her panties in my face (I still held them.)
Gathering my nerve, I tapped on her door, saying "You
left these downstairs."
"Bring them in," she commanded. I opened the door and
entered her room. The lights were out, but her body on
the bed was illuminated by the moonlight streaming
through the windows. She still wore the baby doll top,
but no robe hid her long, gorgeous legs which were
beautifully displayed. I stood there mute, unable to
decide on how to proceed. She took care of that.
"Are you taking me up on my offer?" she asked teasingly.
Before I could answer, she parted her legs, saying "Go
ahead. It's OK. See what a real female smells like."
Moving to the foot of her bed, I sat down between her
feet. Taking charge, she parted her legs even more,
saying "It's up here, you'll have to lean over."
Bracing myself on my elbows, I slid between those
shapely, tanned thighs. Even before my face got close I
could detect a musky flavor I'd never noticed before,
even sniffing her panties. I thought I could see her
golden pubic hair and paused a few inches above the
treasure between her legs, unsure of how to proceed.
I then felt her hands clasping the back of my head,
drawing my face down, between the juncture of her
thighs.
***
From: Brad
My sister and I are 17 years old, and have been enjoying
sex with each other for two and a half years. We started
when drunk and being left home alone, and whilst
watching a soft-core porno on TV she noticed the bulge
in my pants.
She got curious and asked to let her touch it - she then
copied the 'actors' on the TV and went down on me.
We talked about it afterwards, agreed we both enjoyed
it, and have continued regular full penetration in
secret, as we still live with our folks.
***
From: Dennis
You asked so here it goes when I was 10 my older brother
was 13 he would masturbate me and later would suck me
off and then have me suck him off I rather liked it and
started to like his advances I didn't at first.
We had many 69 encountered for several years until he
was sent to a military school. A few years later I
started with my younger brother.
In adult life we have never talked about it? Why I don't
know. If you want more email me it feels good to talk
about after all these years.
***
From: Connie
When I was 13 I was already obsessed with sex to some
extent. My first orgasm came at a young age, perhaps 7,
when I was molested (though not unwillingly) by two
gardeners employed by my family.
They did not speak English very well, other than a few
well-chosen obscene terms, but they made their
intentions clear. They took me into a small garden shed
where they made me lie down on some sort of grain or
feed sacks.
I'll never forget how excited I was when they pulled off
my panties, spread my legs and began touching my
hairless pussy. I felt a thrill go through me when one
of them whispered something about little pussy, even
though I didn't know what that was at the time.
They played with me for a long time and made me lick and
kiss their cocks. (I discovered later that my 11 year
old brother was outside watching through the window,
trying to decide what to do.
He later admitted that since he could see I was smiling
and laughing, he ended up jacking off while the two men
put their fingers in me and deposited their cum on my
face and belly.
I remember they wiped me off with rags and warned me not
to tell anyone - as if I would? I just went back and
took a bath, and an early nap.
Although my brother and I ended up playing with each
other whenever we had the chance, we never quite had the
courage to actually fuck and then he went away to
school.
I was desperate to have sex, but still afraid of getting
a "reputation" at school. Other girls my age did not
even suck boys off, let alone fuck them. My mother
married, again, when I was 12.
Malcolm, my new stepfather liked to give spankings, and
those spankings began to change. First with the panties
on, then with the panties down a bit, then with them off
completely, then just in my bra, then, finally, I was
told to strip completely for my punishment.
His fingers kept brushing the new crop of soft hair on
my crotch, but still he didn't actually do anything,
even when I squirmed a bit trying to get his fingers
closer.
Then, one night, he came home and caught me making out
on the couch with a 16-year old boy. My blouse was open
and I was on my knees sucking the boy's hard-on. Malcolm
sent him out the door still trying to get his dick back
in his pants, and hauled me upstairs. Suddenly I knew
that would be the night, and it was.
At first he ripped my clothes off harshly, and turned me
over his knee. But I could feel the enormous bulge in
his trousers as he reddened my ass. Then he made me
kneel in front of him as he sat on the bed.
He interrogated me about my activities, wanting to know
if I'd let any of those boys stick their cocks in my
pussy. He'd never used such language and I could feel
myself getting wetter and wetter. He made me use the
words, too.
I couldn't get away with a "yes" or a "no" answer. He
showed me that he had discovered the cache of hard core
porn magazines I had stolen from him and from my
stepbrother, and hidden in my dresser drawer. He made me
point to the pictures I liked (the ones of women tied up
and spread open, being roughly handled), made me read
the captions out loud and describe what was going on.
He told me, finally, if I wanted to be a slut, I would
certainly be HIS slut. I felt myself trembling. He was
going to fuck me, for real. He made me kneel between
legs and unzip his trousers, and wrap my hands around
his thick, hard, meaty cock. "I saw you licking that
kid's dick downstairs, so I know you know how to do it.
Start sucking, my sweet little bitch!"
That first night, he came first in my mouth, then he
enjoyed my virgin cunt. It hurt, but not as much as I
thought it might. And I wanted it so bad, but he
wouldn't let me want it, if you know what I mean. He
made sure that I knew he was in charge, he was the boss,
he owned my pussy.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 20
My New Stepsister
My parents got divorced when I was eleven and my mother
immediately remarried. She dragged my little sister and
I from our sleepy Florida town to a city up north, into
the new family's big old house in the burbs. We were
thrown into an entirely new situation that included a
new stepfather, a cat, three dogs and my new stepsister
Linda.
She was just six weeks older than me, and we became
instant friends. She introduced me to the kids in the
hood, among other things. I don't know whether it was
from my having been to a Catholic elementary school or
what, but she couldn't believe how naive I was.
I knew how the "S" word was spelled, but had never heard
it spoken aloud - until she said it, no doubt causing me
to gasp in shock. When she said the "F" word, I didn't
bat an eye because I had never even heard of it. Then
she explained what it meant, and at first I couldn't
believe her.
My mom? And your Dad? Do that? No way! After mulling it
over for a while, I found that it might be an
explanation for some things I had already observed. When
I questioned my mother, I could tell by her evasive
choice of words and her attitude that it was the truth.
Linda had also enlightened me about a few other choice
words and expressions, such as BONER and BLOWJOB.
Whether from the erotic suggestion or from my natural
progression into adolescence, soon I began to get my own
boners.
I think that I had played "doctor" with anyone that
would join me, as far back as I can remember. With this
new combination of Linda, her budding young body, her
knowledge, her lack of inhibitions, and my newfound
boners - this was becoming really interesting.
When I would start to sport in the evenings, I would run
excitedly from my room into hers. Closing the door, I
would show it to her, proudly, sticking right up out of
my pj's. She would grab it and stroke it gently, which
felt great.
One time she even popped it into her mouth, which was
really fabulous. I would love to entertain you with a
nice detailed blowjob story (my whole life would
probably be different!); but the truth is that I was a
hairless young boy who had never had an orgasm yet, and
it was only for half a minute, anyway.
Time marched on and hair grew. My friend Carl showed me
how to jerk off by rubbing the head of my dick with a
soft blanket, and I have been pretty well hooked ever
since (though I don't use a blanket anymore, and it's
more like once per week now instead of five times per
day!)
I began to want - and need - some serious sex.
Unfortunately, Linda was maturing faster and was
beginning to distance herself from me, either in favor
of actual dates with boyfriends or because she had real
tits now. In any case, she was becoming more inhibited.
I will never know how far she went with these dates,
because she wouldn't share this type of information
anymore. But one thing I did know: she still had an itch
that needed scratching. I knew because of a weird little
game that we developed.
I never cared much about backrubs, but Linda (and most
women, I have found) love them. Since our parents were
always out on Saturday nights, we would be home alone in
her room watching the double feature monster movies. The
only light would be from the little black and white TV
set, and we would be lazing around in our pj's. Linda
would ask, "Give me a backrub, would you?"
I can still picture it now. She is sitting to my right
on the edge of the daybed, and she moves her legs up
behind me and lies down on her stomach with her face
towards the TV. Her firm little butt is just touching
mine. I reached up under her pajama top and begin to
scratch her back gently with my fingernails, making
little circles around her shoulders. I keep moving these
circles around to include her shoulder- blades and the
center of her back. Then I changed to using my fingers
and the flat of my hand to press firmly against her.
This causes the pajama top to ride up at least halfway.
I continued rubbing her all over her back. Her eyes are
closed now.
I gently ask, "Linda?" and get no response. Is she
asleep? I am not sure; let's find out. I know that she
would never let me feel her up if she were awake. I
slowly moved my left hand down under her armpit,
massaging all the way.
As I continued further down her ribcage, soon I was at
the place where the breast swells out. Her boobs were
small, like grapefruit halves, but there was no
mistaking the smooth curve, accented even more because
she was lying on them.
The bad news was that I couldn't reach the nipple, but I
got so excited tickling her soft skin that I started to
get a raging boner.
Technically, this wasn't a "back" rub anymore, and I was
prepared to retreat fast if she woke up and said
anything. But she didn't - not yet, anyway.
I gently reached my right hand over to her left shoulder
and pulled her up slightly. My left hand snaked gently
under towards the nipple. My heart stopped as she
mumbled in her sleep! She twisted onto her right side,
bending her knees slightly behind me.
Her pajama top was still halfway up her chest. She still
appeared to be sleeping soundly. Now I could stroke my
hand slowly up her side under the pajama top, stopping
at the curve of her breast.
I kept smoothly rubbing her, not yet working up to the
coveted nipple. This was partly due to a lack of courage
on my part (I really did't want to get caught and piss
her off) and partly due to the bothersome question: is
this a form of rape?
Of my various fantasies, my violent raping of a woman
was not one I particularly enjoyed. Although I was still
a virgin. In my heart I was a lover, not a fighter.
Although I had to admit that certain movie rape scenes
have caused a twinge in my dick. Still it ranks way on
down near the bottom of the list, right near the one
where I pop some other guy's dick in my mouth. These
thoughts have crashed some of my fantasy parties, but
they were never invited.
I like to think that I don't have a violent or malicious
bone in my body. If anything, I love Linda and will
admit it if pressed. However, one specific bone in my
body is winning the internal struggle. Yes, even at my
tender age of fourteen I am already learning the life
lesson of thinking with my little head.
Slowly but surely I inch my fingertips up over the curve
of her left breast. At last I find the little bump,
sticking up firmly. It feels nothing like mine, which
are just little flaps of limp skin. Her nipple is more
like part of an ear - hard but pliable. I rub it between
my thumb and fingers, and it gets even harder and
bigger. Linda gives a little moan.
Quickly I jerk my hand back and put it in my lap on top
of my throbbing dick. As I watch her, Linda still seems
to be sleeping. I notice that she must be clenching her
thighs together, because she is flexing her left thigh
and her butt muscles. She then shifts a little bit so
that her left leg bends some more, gently kneeing me in
the back, and her right leg straightens out some.
This is great news, because my desire to feel her tits
was nothing compared to my desire to investigate her
pussy.
She is wearing these little shorty loose-fitting
bottoms, with elastic on the legs. I shift around
sideways to get better access with my hand, but there
isn't room on the daybed anymore so I just sit on the
floor. Actually, I kneel up and over her thighs and
gently pull the elastic band up from her exposed left
leg.
I slowly snake my right hand up under the fabric. Her
bare skin feels really hot and smooth. I am so excited
now that I feel I could squirt in the air without even a
single touch to my dick. My hand continues up to the
curve of her butt. I find I have to move my elbow down
by her knee to contort my arm to continue up under the
elastic barrier.
I slowly move up over the curve until my hand is cupping
her left cheek. Then I slowly spin it down, sideways,
into her crack. The fabric is partially in my way now,
but with the progress that my fingertips made I can feel
extreme heat and the fuzzy edges of her pubic hair.
I drop the leg band from my left hand so that it rests
up on my right forearm. I move it over her butt and tug
the crotch down and away from her pussy area. She
actually wiggles a little bit to help make it happen!
My right hand is now touching the back end of her labia,
through the fuzz. I have never been this far with a girl
before, although I guess it doesn't really count since
we're not making out or anything. I start to trail my
right fingertips down over her pussy lips, watching her
face carefully in case she wakes up.
Her mouth is slightly open and she is breathing audibly,
but not like a sound sleep type of slow rhythm. Her butt
is starting to quiver a little as though she is cold. I
wonder if I should cover her up with a blanket.
Instead I keep working my fingertips around over her
labia all the way to the front of her pussy, where it
gets seriously hairy. I move back up and over the
mysterious folds toward her butt again, and this time I
detect a spot that feels a little bit slippery.
I start rubbing my finger back and forth where it slides
so easily, and freeze as Linda makes a little moaning
noise. She is quivering a lot more now and sort of
working her left leg back and forth slightly as though
she were running in place. Her eyes are firmly shut. I
continue rubbing, but my eyes are glued to hers, just in
case.
As I slip up and down the slick spot on her pussy lips,
the slippery area starts to grow. My fingertips travel
farther as the available distance increases. Linda
continues to quiver. I then notice that my finger is
actually slipping down between some of the folds. I am
still rubbing back and forth, but within the folds now.
I press inwards to try to get inside, but - no dice. I
move back up to the top of the folds and discover
another inner space, even wetter. This time my fingers
slide in easily - it's even wetter in here. My middle
and ring fingers are in up to the nails.
Linda makes a little whimper and her quivering is a
little more jerky and sporadic, not like a shiver from
the cold. I withdraw my ring finger and insert my middle
finger up to the first knuckle, but my arm is getting to
be really contorted now and her top leg is kind of in
the way.
I put my left hand down behind her top knee and gently
tug it up so that her legs are more spread apart,
watching her face the whole time. She slides right up,
but her pajama bottoms are tending to move with her.
I withdraw my hand totally, reluctantly. But her left
leg is now about ninety degrees up from her lower leg,
almost at the edge of the daybed.
My knees are killing me, but in my excitement I hadn't
noticed. There is now room for me up on the bed, between
her legs and below her left foot. I move up there,
behind her.
This time I go for her lower, straight right leg and
grab the fabric from the crotch area and gently pull it
out away from her. There is more room to move here; in
fact, I think I can pull the elastic out far enough to
see her pussy.
The light from the TV is not enough to see very well,
but I stick my head right down there to look. All I can
see is a mass of dark curly hair, but - Oh, my God - the
heavenly smell! It hadn't even occurred to me that I
would be able to smell it.
My nose is very sensitive - maybe I should have been a
wine-taster. I am completely bowled over by the aroma
that those slippery juices give off. If I hadn't loved
Linda before, I fell head over heels now. I move closer
and closer to her secret perfume spot with my face,
inhaling the air deeply.
I have since learned that the buzz I am enjoying is
caused by a group of chemicals called "pheromones" - but
right now I don't care about a thing except not waking
Linda up. As I get closer to her pussy, I can see a
little better.
I can barely make out the labia; they are sort of puffed
up and out - not like little sister's when I saw her in
the bathtub. I have the elastic pulled as far as
possible out to her bent left leg in an attempt to get
as close as possible.
I am on my knees bent down with my butt in the air and
my face inches from her pussy. My aching dick feels like
it is made of stone. I am having a hard time trying to
inhale as deeply as possible but without exhaling so
much that she will feel my breath on her.
I get really daring and stick my tongue out to touch her
labia. From this close, the aroma is making my head spin
into total euphoria. I move even closer and lick gently
up and down. I can hear Linda moan, so I jerk upright;
her eyes are still shut tight, although she is writhing
and humping her lower body slightly. I get back down
immediately and plunge my tongue right in.
My nose goes right up to her butthole, but the pussy
aroma is all I can notice - all I live for at this
moment. Linda moans and straightens her bent left leg,
and turns back onto her tummy, giving me a heart attack
and forcing my head out quickly; then I see that she has
bent both legs and pointed her butt up into the air,
sleeping like a little baby!
After a second, I grab her butt gently and wait for a
response - nothing. I grab the waistband of her pajama
bottoms and slowly pull them down over her hips and then
the curve of her butt. I can get them all the way down
to past her leg bands. Her pussy is fully exposed now,
and I can see it better with the improved lighting
angle.
The labia are still a series of secretive folds, but the
big mystery is gone because there are two distinct
halves visible. I take my middle finger and gently
plunge it between these halves. To my surprise, she
wiggles back on it, impaling it further than I would
have even dared.
She is moaning and quivering now, with my finger up her.
The rest of my fingers are in the way of further
penetration, so I remove it and insert my index finger
instead. She moans and wiggles back on it more! The
walls of her pussy feel like the softest slippery silk,
like the inside of a little but deep toothless mouth.
I curve my finger a bit to investigate this new
territory. About an inch up, I can feel a somewhat round
shape towards the front. I am guessing that this must be
the "cherry" - it is just the right shape and size. How
interesting - it is not a resisting barrier.
I guess she must have gone all the way already with
someone. It feels as though another finger might fit in
her, so I pull my index out and add my already wet
middle finger.
As I continue probing and stroking the sides, she moans
and wiggles spasmodically. Since she still pushes back,
and since I don't feel any resistance, and since my dick
is leaking all kinds of slick juice from the excitement,
I wonder whether I could get away with positioning
myself to stick it in.
I get up to where it is close, but her butt is not far
back enough to make contact without actually laying on
top of her. I guess I could do it if there were a
trapeze hanging from the ceiling.
There is just not going to be a way to get in her
without waking her up, and I bet she would kill me if
she wakes up and finds out what is going on.
Oh, well. I have food for solo fantasies for the rest of
my life now, without the ultimate violation. Anyway, I
don't have a rubber; what if she got pregnant?
As a consolation, I decide to try to at least lick her
pussy - something I have only heard about. This time I
stand up and put my left foot over her on the far side
of the daybed so that I am straddling her and looking at
her butt upside down. With my left hand I pull her
pajama bottoms just a little further down her legs; I
straighten my right arm on the daybed and lean way over.
I swoop my face down to that beautiful and mysterious
spot once again. With my face nearly upside down, my
nose is bumping right up against the front of her slit,
and if I thought the smell was great before - it was
even better now.
Without hesitating I plunge my tongue into her. She
moans again and shoves her butt up to my face for better
access. I licked up the full length to the front of her
slit and diddle around, experimenting, looking for the
legendary clit. She begins to grunt "mmph!" as she
starts to hump the air beneath her.
I pop up for a second to make sure that she is still
asleep, and then go back to town. She resumes her
humping and grunting as I resume toying with what seems
to be the right spot. My boner is killing me, aching to
plunge into her. I keep on flicking my tongue back and
forth, in and out, and she keeps on gyrating her hips
around, faster and faster, around and around.
As she keeps getting even wetter, I am finding out that
the taste of her pussy juice is wonderful. I have never
been this turned on in my short life, and I can't tell
whether it's because of the smell, the taste, or the
texture - but it certainly is her pussy that's causing
it.
I am getting carried away, constantly flicking my tongue
even faster and covering her entire pussy with my mouth
as though we were having a really wild and sloppy French
kiss. Sometimes I slow my tongue down to gauge her
reaction, which she unconsciously makes clear by her
moans and by the wiggling of her butt; sometimes I move
it in and out, sometimes in circles one way and then the
other, sometimes back and forth, sometimes in
combinations of these.
After a few minutes of this, her humping just can't get
any faster. I can't really tell if her hips are moving
now - they are locked rigid, motionless, yet at the same
time they are moving so fast that they seem to be
vibrating.
Oh, man; I think she may be coming! The very idea is so
exciting that I'm afraid my dick is going to explode.
Her pussy is starting to make these gulping noises, kind
of like farts, but more like kissing the air. Also, each
time she exhales she is letting out a really long
grunting sound; it sounds like some African animal
charging.
She makes these loud groans for at least five or six
breaths. Now I'm more worried that she will wake HERSELF
up.
I am not sure whether to hang on tight or run away
before she wakes up. I decide to stand up and get ready
to bolt. Still trembling, her hips very slowly sink down
to the surface of the daybed.
I pull her pajama bottoms up over her butt at the last
minute. In the glow from the TV test pattern, I look at
her closed eyes once again and notice that she has sort
of rosy cheeks and a very light glow of sweat all over
her face.
She is beginning to breathe more normally as I leave the
room. At the top of the stairs, before going down to my
own room, I grab my swollen dick and give it one really
good hard squeeze. Without even a single pull, I gasp as
I shoot out all over the stairway wallpaper.
Through my blurred vision I can see a big blob of my goo
on the far wall, way up near the ceiling. I don't think
I can reach that high to wipe it off, even if I wanted
to.
* * *
So... about this game: was she feigning sleep or not? I
suspect so but I will never know for sure. But I do know
that there were many other such incidents. I can
remember at least once that she BEGGED me to come
upstairs and rub her back. But sometimes I couldn't take
the frustration of the one-way trip.
If only she had said, "I'll make it worth your while..."
THAT'S the real food for some of my fantasies, even
today, 30 years later.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 21
From: Hal
I am a son that has had sex with his dad. This story is
lengthy, but it needs to be in order to capture the
events that led to our sexual experience together. Over
the years, many men have asked me questions about my
relationship with my father. I think this story explains
it all.
My story began in 1978 when I was 16 and a sophomore in
high school. I was very horny and definitely gay but had
not had sex with anyone yet. I used to masturbate 2-3
times a day. I bought Playgirl and Hustler magazines to
masturbate with.
One day I walked into my very good looking 48-yr old
dad's bathroom and there he was stark naked. I was
immediately aroused by his hairy body and fat cock and
balls. I stared and stammered and he talked to me but I
didn't hear a thing because I was completely focused on
his cock.
I believe that moment planted the seed in his head that
he had a queer son, which might become useful someday.
About a week later, he and I were the only ones and
home. It was a Saturday morning. I took a shower and was
drying off when someone knocked on my door. I knew it
was my father so I opened the door. I was as naked as he
was previously.
His eyes went right to my cock! I got very nervous but
didn't move. I wanted him to see my large cock and be
proud. But I started getting an erection so I put a
towel around myself.
After he left he patted me on the back and said let's do
something tomorrow son - just me and you.
The next day we went for lunch in the park together. Dad
told me it was time to tell me about sex. I already knew
everything but I let him speak. He explained what men
and women do sexually and why. He asked me if I had any
questions but I was too afraid to bring up my gayness at
that point.
My dad than confided in me that he had looked outside of
his marriage with my mother for sex a few times because
she had turned frigid. I wasn't comfortable talking
about my mother's sexuality but I was curious about his.
I asked him if it had been the right thing to do and he
told me that he was an extremely sexual and horny man
and loved sex. So he had no choice. He said he would not
divorce my mom over it.
About 3 days later, I was beating off in my room late
one night and the door opened. I jumped up in fright. It
was my dad. I had about 3 playgirl magazines on my bed
and was bare naked with a big erection. He was smiling
and reeked of gin. He asked me what I was doing.
He saw the magazines. I figured this was it! He would
now know I was queer and that I loved cock. Time for a
serious sermon. How wrong I was to be afraid.
Dad told me that I had a nice cock - just like his. He
then said that he suspected that I was queer. He asked
me if I liked men. I answered Yes. He asked me if I had
ever had sex with men. I said I had not.
Well then he said, if you promise to keep this a secret,
I will let you suck my cock anytime you want. He
unzipped his pants and pulled out a beautiful piece of
meat. Well? he asked. Come over son and get to know your
father's dick.
I got down on my knees and kissed his big hairy cock. I
held it in my hand and watch it grow. Then I licked it.
I kept licking it and then I put it in my mouth. Dad
moaned and slowly pushed his cock deeper in my mouth. It
was so thrilling! I was so aroused.
Dad fucked my virgin mouth for about 10-15 minutes until
he let off a huge wad of cum. I spit the cum out because
I didn't know how to swallow yet. When it was over he
asked me how I felt. I told him I liked the sex but
would be afraid if anyone ever found out. He agreed that
it would not be good if anyone learned of this so we
must never mention it, just do it whenever we were
horny.
Well, I was to find out that I had a father that was as
horny as a 16-yr old. I was sucking him every night. He
taught me how to lick and suck his balls and eat his cum
as well. He bought me gay magazines and told me to study
the way men have sex. The sucking went on for about 6
months.
After 6 months, dad decided he wanted to suck my cock.
So we added 69 into our relationship. 6 months later, we
were getting bored with our scenario. Many of the
magazines that dad bought me showed anal sex. He asked
me if I had thought about it and I said yes. Dad told me
he wanted to try it soon so I should begin thinking
about it.
One night we were having a session and dad pushed a
finger in my asshole. It burned and caused me pain at
first but as he sucked, he pushed it in and out in a
rhythm. I found myself loving the feeling. So we added
finger fucking to our relationship.
A few weeks went on and dad was getting 3 fingers in my
ass in a session. He told me that he wanted to penetrate
me with his penis and would I mind. I told him I wanted
to try it.
When the night came to try it, things were fairly
disastrous. I was unable to take his fat cock up my ass
without a lot of pain. So we waited and he fingered me
to exercise my hole.
One night he came in my room with vodka. We drank the
vodka and sucked. It was that night that I was able to
loosen up and let him fuck me. It was awesome. He fucked
me in every position and we both came multiple times. I
was thrilled!
We added fucking to our relationship and for the next 2
years had regular hot sex, which fulfilled both of us.
When I left for college in another state, the sex ended.
I was very promiscuous in college (I wonder why?). And
had sex every weekend with men I met of picked up at gay
bars.
When I returned home for holidays my dad and I would
have sex but it wasn't like it used to be. I wasn't into
it with him like I had been because I was dating some
very nice men, and it just seemed really abnormal to be
having sex with him again. I told him how I felt and he
understood.
Today I am 34 and have been in a monogamous relationship
for 3 yrs. My lover does not know about the relationship
I once had with my father. I have never told anyone
about it except online anonymously.
My father is 68 and looks pretty good for his age. I
only see him about 6 times a year and he never mentions
what we did. He is still married to my mother. He more
or less acts as if it never even happened. But it did,
and sometimes I think back to it and think how much fun
it was.
In retrospect I think we did what we did because we were
both horny men. As a gay boy, I was not going to turn
down the opportunity to suck dick. I believe my father
was/is a bisexual. I was the most comfortable choice for
him to try out his bisexuality.
As far as I know, he has not had sex with other men;
however, I might be wrong because how the hell do I know
what he does on his spare time. If he wanted to fuck for
old time's sake I would be more than willing!
Hope you liked my story. It's not every son that gets to
share such intimacy with the man whom they call Dad.
***
From: Roy
Hi, my name is Roy and I am 45 years old. At the age of
4, or at least as far back as I can remember I was
involved in incestrial relationships. Starting with my
Grandfather and mother. Latter extending to my brother
and 10 of my cousins. I eventually found out that my
grandfather was actually my biological father and that
one of my cousins is actually my half sister.
By the time I was 8 years old, if I didn't feel like
doing, I was getting paid to perform sexual favors. I
didn't find out about my Mother and her Father's
relationship until I was much older. Now that I think
back about it I realize that my Mother knew what was
going on from the start, or she wouldn't have let me
spend night sleeping with the man that fathered me.
Knowing that was quite hard on me and has been very hard
to deal with.
My Grandfather (Father) use to always say I was his boy.
Now I know what he meant by that. I didn't know back
when I was young that he was doing things with his other
grandchildren.
I thought I was the only one. I was the only one that
use to sleep in his bed regularly. I slept with him more
than I ever slept alone between the ages of 3 and 12. If
you would like to hear more about my childhood as a sex
toy please Email me.
[no response as yet]
***
From: Hawkeye
When I was 7 and my sister was 8 we had an experience
together and it was the most terrible and traumatic
experience of my life. It started when my parents
befriended another couple at my father's place of
business. The other couple also had a son and a daughter
about our age.
I don't know where these children learned the things
they did, but it was obvious that they had learned about
sex somewhere. What they knew was far from "playing
doctor" or simple examination of each other's genitals.
My sister and myself knew nothing about any of this and
it was all new and appeared to be just like another
game.
Eventually, we paired off. Me, with the other girl, and
my sister with the other boy. I remember taking my erect
penis and sliding it up and down the girls' small
hairless vagina. It was incredible!
I realize now that I had an orgasm. Of course, there was
no ejaculation, but just the same, I felt the immense
tingling at the base of my abdomen that is a normal
result of having an orgasm and cumming. I was in heaven.
Whenever these other two children came over, we would
pair up the same way always. I never asked my sister
what happened with her, but I am sure it was probably
similar activities.
Well, one day I was at home (if memory serves) and me
and my sister started to get it on. She told me that she
didn't want to, but I said that it would be fun. She
said that mom and dad would get mad, but I ignored it
and continued.
I basically did to her what I did with the other girl
(just slide up and down). And I had an orgasm again. It
was very good. I was a child, and all I knew is that I
liked what I felt. There was no morality or taboo
issues. It just felt good and I didn't know any better.
One day, out of a naive and innocent idea that she
thought she might get pregnant, my sister told my mom
what was going on. My mom in turn told my father (the
biggest mistake in my lifetime).
I remember my father ordering me into his room with my
mother sitting on the other side of the bed. He pushed
me on to the bed. The only question that I can remember
him asking me is if I "...put it in."
I quickly retorted out of fear "no!" I saw light, and
heard an eerie brushing sound come from the side of my
head. Then the pain. Then I opened my glassy eyes and
saw his fist balled up with his education ring
spearheading his hand. Over and Over. The pain was not
the worst part. It was the shame. I don't think that he
knew that my sister and I had any sexual contact, but he
told me that I was an animal and that what I was doing
was disgusting.
I remember him saying, "Now what am I going to tell
those children's parents?"
He blamed me, and so did I. Put yourself at that
delicate mental age. It crushed me. He was my idol, and
I became less than nothing.
Later on, after I had seen a psychologist, I realized
that it was not my fault and that my sister and I were
the victims of a mild form of molestation by children
that were older than we were.
To this day I still suffer the pain that was etched on
my soul. I still have erection problems with some women
(which is really embarrassing) until I feel comfortable
with them.
I think it is because in a way, I still feel that the
act is innately bad. The point is, my incestuous
experience was not a good one. I'll never recover and I
still see that light and still feel the shame in one
form or another (although you could never tell).
Another collateral result was that, after that day, I
distanced myself from my sister and was not the loving
brother that I could have been. My father was an animal
and shamed me and my sister many times after that (not
sexually).
I wish I could have been there for her because she, as a
young girl, was much more delicate than I. I just felt
that I was bad and should not touch her at all. For the
most part, that has changed now. We are very good
friends and get along very well.
Sometimes life is not fair. We must protect each other
when we can.
***
A WORD FROM RANK
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact
with a family member, and what impact that had on your
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:
...With whom (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, etc.).
...At what age?
...Who 'wooed' who?
...How you feel about your experience(s) today?
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story
will only be used to continue these postings. If you
would like to share your story, please send mail to
RankAmateur@writeme.com.
INCEST IN THE MEDIA
There was a brief flap over the book _The Kiss_ by
Kathryn Harrison, an author who has written in the past
about incest issues. This is her personal account of her
adult affair with her father, which lasted several years
and haunts her still. The reviews were not, generally,
good.
Many critics felt that it was inappropriate for her to
disclose this story, and that perhaps at some high-
culture level, it was mere publicity-seeking since her
previous books had not been great successes. I don't
know and I can't judge; I haven't read the book yet
(perhaps I should add book reviews to the digest!).
What I do find interesting is that discussion of incest
has moved beyond the child-molestation phase and we're
seeing a return of what you may call Freudian incest.
(Remember that Freud made a splash a century ago by
concluding that the "hysteria" -- today we might call it
depression or anxiety -- of his female patients was due
to having had affairs with their fathers.) And perhaps,
as some charged, this is merely the end result of a
decade of talk shows competing for our attention:
nothing shocks.
I am rather suspicious that the people buying that book
are people like you and me, that is, with an erotic
interest in incest, rather than survivors. It's almost
as though the telling is more important for the person
who went through it, rather than anything that might
come out of the tale.
Another book of interest is her _Exposure_, about a
woman whose famous-photographer father took a critically
acclaimed series of nudes of his then-teenage daughter.
In effect, she is going through life with her every
secret revealed. This novel was very highly regarded at
the time, unlike _The Kiss_.
Unexpectedly home on Friday night (okay, I didn't have a
date), I found myself watching the new Larry Hagman
drama _Orleans_. To my surprise it was nothing at all
like Dallas; the producer is John Sacret Young, of
_China Beach_ fame, and it's a very well done family
drama mixed with some politics and policing.
I highly recommend it on that basis alone. My other
surprise was the plotline of that episode, which was an
adult woman's marriage, despite her heartbreak over her
true love -- her cousin (and in practicality, a brother,
since they had grown up so close).
It was handled as something they both accepted but
needed to keep secret. Not shameful, perhaps, but at
least very embarrassing. I don't know when it will run
again, but watch the airwaves.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 22
Though incest is among society's strongest taboos,
statistics show a lot of us have done it -- or are doing
it. Whether as part of mutual exploration, seduction, or
even abuse, incest creates enduring memories with
emotional and erotic impact.
This digest is one way of discussing and illuminating
this subject. Plus, the stories are fun to share!
If you have an incest experience you would like to
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@writeme.com.
Anonymity guaranteed.
Disclaimer: If you don't like any of this, skip it.
***
From: Neville
Here first is some basic information about myself - I am
the eldest of 11 children that my mum had with a variety
of diffident men - i.e. I was born out of wedlock - she
married and had 4 children - two boys two girls by my
adoptive father. He walks out on us when I was about
ten, then his place was taken by his stepbrother our
step uncle. Me and him didn't get on, then mum dumps him
when he went to jail.
Mum had three more boys and one girl by him before she
booted him out, then she had a boy by a nice guy, but
that relationship fizzled out and then she met an Irish
guy who gave her her last baby.
I was sexually abused at the age of five by a lodger who
was staying with us - he slept with me - abuse was the
wrong word because I liked him sucking my penis and I
was fascinated by the size of his equipment - sadly he
left - but I was always keen on sex with my peer group
and sometimes with my younger siblings.
The major breakthrough for me occurred at ten years of
age when my penis grew out of all proportion to my boy
body and a boy and girl showed me the joys of
masturbation.
I was masturbating every day before my eleventh birthday
- and when at 11 I went to an all boys school I started
to become sexually attracted to boys and loved taking
showers with my randy class mates. But I'd also been
having weekly sexual fun with an older girl on our
street from the age of 8 up to 16 when I joined the army
as a boy soldier.
I became very popular with my older school mates who
were always requesting the use of my right hand to wank
them off - never ever refuse a boys request.
The first time I felt sexual toward my mum was one hot
summers day during the long summer school holidays. I
was fed-up with my mates and went home - mum was in the
kitchen standing at the kitchen sink, hand washing some
clothes - I leaned against the kitchen wall next to the
sink.
Well my eyeballs nearly fell out of their sockets.
All mum was wearing was a wrap round apron buttoned up
at the front - I could see her breasts completely as she
washed the clothes unaware that her son's cock was
twitching in his trousers. She stopped washing for some
reason and left the kitchen - when she returned I had an
overwhelming desire to have a cuddle with my mum.
I think I'd had a resentment of my brothers and sisters
taking her attention away from me - I grabbed mum by
surprise and she laughed as she asked me what I was
doing - I was very emotional by then and replied 'Mum I
just want a cuddle.'
With this I leaned her against the kitchen wall. She put
her arms around me and pulled me to her. I had my chin
touching the top of her warm breasts and she kissed my
face - I kissed the top of both breasts and she didn't
say anything.
But when I undid two of the apron buttons she pushed me
away gently and said 'We can't, somebody might walk in.'
in those days neighbors were always popping in and out
of each other's houses.
Any way from that moment my wanking fantasy switched
from the streets boys and girls to almost exclusively
about having sex with my mum.
It gets a bit complicated now - my sex life that is - as
me and my best mate got a job on a farm - the farmer was
gay and he introduced me to oral sex - him on my cock
only - and he introduced me to arse fucking - again I
fucked him and wouldn't allow him to fuck me.
I'd been forcefully fucked by an older man I allowed to
pick me up in public toilets when aged 12 and as he near
strangled me it put me off letting older guys approach
me from behind.
The second semi sexual happening occurred one early
morning - one of my younger brothers aged about seven or
eight had fell out with the guys he was sleeping with -
I slept naked and with a raging hard-on I went to the
bedroom hall and picked him up in my arms - just as mum
stepped onto the hall to see why he was crying - she saw
me in all my naked glory and said 'Oh are you going to
look after him' her eyes were transfixed on to my fully
cock and she gave me a strange smile.
Step-uncle was still on the scene. I took my brother
into my single bed - he was only wearing a vest so I
took it off and I cuddled him close to my body - I was
very turned on having him in my bed - I touched his cock
which was stiff - he giggled as a fondled him - the more
I touched him the more excited I got.
I couldn't resist sucking and licking his 3 inch uncut
cock. I then rubbed my cock over his and shot my load
all over him - I spread my cum all over him and then
licked it off his skin. We slept in each other's arms -
the next morning mum came in to my bedroom - see saw
both his vest and my pajamas on the floor because she
picked them up and put them on the foot of the bed.
She said 'Don't you mind him in your bed?' I pulled the
sleeping boy closer to me and said 'Not at all.' I had
my same brother sleep with me at every opportunity - he
too had an early puberty like me and mum got us bigger
bed.
He slept with me when I went home on army leave. The
last time we slept together - he was 15 and I was 21 -
we were doing oral and mutual masturbation - deep
french-kissing and rubbing cocks together semi fuck
style. We never fucked each other.
On Sunday morning I was not required to work on the farm
that week end - I don't think the farmer could handle
both my mate and me at the same time. I slipped my
totally inadequate pajama bottoms on - the open fly hid
nothing and I was a bit of a flasher to my brothers
sisters and mum - she said nothing about me wearing
something from which I was obviously getting sexual
gratification.
This Sunday morning I walked into her bedroom carrying a
tray with two cups of tea on it - the sight which met my
eyes was that uncle was lying across mum - they were
having full intercourse - his head was underneath the
bed covers and he was making a funny grunting sound.
But what sexually aroused me was the seeing that both of
my mother's breasts were completely exposed out from the
top of her flimsy nightie.
Mum looked flushed with excitement - I looked straight
at her and she put a finger to her lips as to say -
'keep quiet and look at me.' I smiled and felt my hard
cock flop out from my open pajama trousers - So there we
were smiling at each other and then the tray in my hand
started to shaking in my trembling hands and mum
whispered for me to leave 'You'd better go luv.' she
said.
I went back to bed with my 8 year old brother and made
him suck my cock - I came after about 30 seconds and my
orgasm nearly knocked me out.
Then the greatest thing happened - uncle Tom was a
stupid petty criminal and he got nine months in jail for
something I've long forgotten. I figured my mother to be
a nymphomaniac and wondered which man was going to
replace Tom as I was certain she would not last long
without a man with her track record.
Two weeks later when I took her tea in she said 'Nev
stay off school today luv.' Like a prick I asked 'What
for?' She replied 'Don't you want to keep your old mum
company?' Her breasts were looking good - she was only
33, as she had had me when she was 19 years old. I
quickly replied 'Yes of course I do.'
I walked down the stairs in a dazed trance - 'Was this
really it' I kept thinking.
Mum came down in her see through, hides nothing, nightie
- she sitting in her armchair which is directly opposite
where I was sitting - all I had on was my open front
pajama trousers - I was smoking a cigarette - Mum looked
very nervous.
I could hardly breath - she then asked me to light her a
fag - I stood up from my chair and my cock was exposed
to her - I leaned over her and put her fag into her
mouth for her - she made no effort to cover her highly
exposed tits - but she whispered - 'you had better lock
the doors luv, we don't want to be disturbed do we.' I
didn't reply, because I literally couldn't speak with
being over excited.
I went to the front hall and bolted it as well as turned
the key - I gave my cock a few masturbation strokes
before I reentered the living room - mums had fully
exposed her tits out from her nightie.
My cock was fully hard as I went to the kitchen to lock
the back door - I removed my pajamas in the kitchen - My
face was scarlet red as being blond I blushed very
easily - I took a deep breath to calm me down a bit - I
WAS GREATLY EXCITED BEING TOTALLY NAKED.
I stood before my mum naked and total naked - she looked
very seriously at me - I felt nervous, then she smiled a
smile which reminded me of a whore type look as she
stood up. She kicked out from her fallen nightie and we
embraced.
At last I could touch her tits - I could kiss her tits
and suckle on her nipples - she then touched my very wet
cock head and then grabbed my cock shaft - it was
throbbing like it had never done before.
Christ, she was guiding my six inch boy cock into her
very comforting warm wet cunt slit - her cunt felt
better than the four girls cunts it had experienced -
she gripped me and started rolling her hips - she grips
by buttocks and starts to encourage me to do the
intercourse movements - I grab her buttocks - we look at
each other - joined together - we kiss - she guides our
sexed up bodies to the floor of the living room.
She quickly guides my cock into her wet cunt - I rest on
my elbows and give a few testing thrusts into her - she
immediately starts lifting her hips to get my cock fully
impaled into her cunt - she's shagging me as much as I
was shagging her. We both were using each other to
satisfy our primitive sexual instincts.
Mum was rolling her head - eyes - hips - she was sucking
in my tongue and her cunt muscles were vibrating as they
gripped around my pumping cock shaft pistoned in and out
of her cunt - she wasn't my mother now - I wasn't her
son - we were as one entity - two over sexed human
beings moving, moaning, screaming as we both orgasm
together.
I continued fucking her although my massive ejaculation
of my sinful incestuous male seeds into my mother's cunt
hole depths - My cock never goes quickly soft - even
after a quick wank I always had to put a stiff cock away
into my trousers.
My mum was crying with a smile on her face - she was
caressing my slightly moving boy buttocks - She then
turned slightly serious and asked me if I hated her - I
said of course I didn't hate her. She asked if I was
disgusted with her and again I reassured her that I
wasn't disgusted with her.
She kissed me and ran her fingers through my hair - I
rested my head on her breast as we relaxed with my stiff
fully hard cock in her cunt - she was caressing my
shoulders - then I felt her hips trying to move again.
I was ready to fuck my wonderful lust filled mother
again and the second act of incest was even better than
our first shag. I was more controlled with my down wards
thrusts - mum was guiding me as she rolled her hips to
meet my fucks into her.
We went to her bed and talked - she told me she knew I
was fucking myself on the broom handle late at night -
she said she knew I was sexually attracted to my 8 year
old brother.
She wanted the full details of the four girls I'd fucked
- I told her about the farmer showing me the joys of gay
sex - queer sex as the word gay wasn't universally used
to mean homos - she said I must be half and half - I
later learnt she meant bi-sexual.
I told her I fantasized about her catching me fucking
myself naked and body oiled up in front of mirrors - she
said it could now happen. She told me I would tomorrow
be shown how to do foreplay and 69 with a woman - I told
her I did it with my school friends - it turned her on
when I told her who I had had sex with in our street and
at school.
I fell asleep after our third shag - I work up at around
six o'clock and heard voices of the family down stairs -
I put my trousers [no underpants] I greeted everybody
with a special smile to mum as I sat in the chair at the
supper table - I sat in uncle Tom's chair - I was
tempted to say 'Cheers to absent friends'.
My 6 year old sister asked me if I was going to school
tomorrow - I told her she'd have to ask our mummy - mum
said 'I don't think so luv.' My cock twitched inside my
loose fitting trousers. After supper my young sister
came to sit on my knee...
I'm on heat lust reliving the above.
***
[2nd mail]
I went for a two week holiday at my grand fathers home
in South Wales - I was recovering from a hernia
operation - He met me at the station - he recognized me
before I recognized him - he took me to his cozy little
house. Granddad adored me - I was to share his bed - I
actually turned down granddads sisters offer to sleep at
her place.
I was tired by 10 pm and went to bed - I had to wear a
full pajamas top and bottom - I was more tired than I
thought because I fell asleep almost immediately. I was
awoken by granddad getting into the bed with me - I was
lying on my back.
I thought he had gone to sleep - I was very hot, pouring
of sweat - bloody pajama tops were causing me this
discomfort. What's more my prick was outside my pajama
bottoms front opening - I hadn't had my three usual
wanks and my balls felt as if they would explode unless
I relieve them soon.
I tried stroking my cock with my right hand but my
moving elbow touched granddad - I tried using my left
hand but the wall and my elbow made a noise - so I lay
awake extremely frustrated - then granddad asked if I
was awake - I told him I was. Then without warning his
hand grabbed my dick.
I was more surprised than shocked and my natural
response was to pull his hand off me, but he wouldn't
let go - he whispered 'Neville I wouldn't ever hurt
you,' With that I sat up and removed my pajama top and
kicked off my pajama bottoms - I lay down and told
granddad 'Be my guest.'
He felt my testicles and ran his hand all over my torso
- he pinched my nipples - he made me touch his cock - I
didn't like that because of his age - he only had about
4 inches - he must have sensed I'd mentally compared
sizes because he said 'Yes Neville yours is bigger than
mine, but I bet I cum more than you.' Well before I knew
it I was fucking him.
The next morning he bought a large jug of hot water -
there was a large basin and granddad told me to have a
strip was and to pay special attention to my private
parts - I duly obeyed. I couldn't find my clothes so I
went down stairs in my pajamas - granddad had his back
to me. I sensed a bit of an atmosphere between us.
Then granddad spoke - 'Neville I hope what happened last
night hasn't upset you.' I replied 'Not at all granddad
I enjoyed it.' At that the old boy turned around with a
lovely grin on his face. 'So there's no need to mention
it to your mother is there.' I said 'I wouldn't dream of
telling her or anybody else about it.'
I thought 'If only you knew what me and mum were doing
and what me and the farmer were doing you'd know how
funny his question was.' He then asked me if I was
hungry - I was starving so he cooked me a large
breakfast.
He watched me eat every mouthful and then he moved the
table and as I sipped my cup of tea he told me I had a
beautiful body - my rising cock popped out from the
pajamas - he gently stroked it into a full erection.
He undid the pajama cord from around my waist. He then
sucked me off and I ejaculated into his mouth.
Afterwards we went out for the day to meet relatives I
never knew I had.
I fucked granddad every night in bed - But on the nights
when we stayed in to watch television together - he
asked me to strip off at about 8 pm each evening - we
sat side by side in two arm chairs with our feet up
resting on foot stools.
Granddad would fondle my cock and balls - on three
occasions he asked me to stand up and walk around the
living room - then to stand up in front of him and
masturbate myself - this turned me on a lot. I took my
time to give the old boy a good show.
I fucked him twice in the kitchen.
I told him I was having sex with my mum, a farmer and
numerous school boyfriends - he said I was over sexed -
I told him I'd been accepted into the army as a boy
soldier. He thought that to be a good place to get rid
of my boyhood energy.
All too soon the holiday was over - he died two years
later - I cried more than mum did.
***
[3rd mail]
Having established a sexual relationship with my mother
- I had a free hand to touch my other brothers and
sisters - I always wore my old pajama bottoms - never a
top, when the late evening, all day Sunday if not
working on the farm.
I'd have walked around naked if I thought I could get
away with it. Sometimes as we watched telly in the dark,
one of my young sisters would sit on my knee or lap. I
would touch her cunt slit - mum knew I was doing it and
in bed she told me it turned her on a great deal.
Saturday night is grand bath night - Mum would bath the
girls and then rush them into the warmer living room -
one evening I offered to dry my whilst mum had a break.
Mum looked at me - she knew what I was up to and she sat
down to watch me.
My sister was approaching puberty and her breasts were a
little more than puppy fat. I quickly dried her top half
and then dried her feet, calves, inner and outer thighs
- inner thighs again.
When I was drying her hairless cunt region I had the
towel edge so my fingers could brush her cunt slit - I
LINGERED on drying her cunt - at times I PARTED the slit
- and go deeper and deeper into her as all eyes were now
watching me - my brothers and sisters were all eyes.
My sister wasn't complaining at my touching her so
intimately - All my brothers were sporting erections -
my erection was plain for everybody to see.
My sister was kept home the following Monday - Both mum
and me had sex with her - at first she was too nervous
to play - but after five minutes of my tonguing her
citreous she was just as keen then to masturbate herself
and me.
When I licked her cunt, she pissed herself in my face -
not that this bothered me - I'd been drinking my own
urine since the age of 12.
I last fucked my mum and my three sisters when I was on
army leave aged 20, I was discharged from the army for
being a sexual psychopath - or being gay - the army use
extreme words. I had an accident and broke my neck in
1975 - I have lots of sexual memories to think about,
and I have had sexual relationships since my accident.
I feel no guilt about my sexually activities - I've
never forced anybody to have sex with me, nor would I
because I wouldn't enjoy sex if my sex partner wasn't
enjoying it with me.
I suppose I am a sexual deviant as I've done most sexual
acts - including Bondage - SM - WATERSPORTS - SCAT -
EXHIBITIONIST - Been gang banged willingly - taken part
in gang bangs with both sexes the person being gang
banged was willing - Spanking - and most other things
you care to name.
I am lucky enough to sex be having sex with both sexes -
I can't fuck or produce ejaculated sperm [they back
flows into my bladder] but I enjoy oral sex a lot.
I don't know whether you wish to correspond regularly -
If you do - just let me know. If not, fair enough, just
remove the header from your print outs from me so that I
cannot be identified if anybody else besides you reads
my e-mails to you. If you have other sexual interests
you would like to hear about and if I've experience of
it I'd be happy to reveal it to you.
Take care - happy wanking.
***
A WORD FROM RANK
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact
with a family member, and what impact that had on your
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:
...With whom (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, etc.).
...At what age?
...Who 'wooed' who?
...How you feel about your experience(s) today?
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story
will only be used to continue these postings. If you
would like to share your story, please send mail to
RankAmateur@writeme.com.
WHERE TO FIND THIS DIGEST
New issues are posted to alt.sex.stories.moderated and
related newsgroups on an irregular schedule.
Past issues are available on the web at the
alt.sex.stories.moderated archive
site.
A WORD ON CONTENT
After some valid criticism of Issue 21, I have decided
to exercise more editorial control over the mix of
stories. I'll still reject outright very few (mostly
blatant unfinished fantasies), but I will try to adjust
the mix in each issue to please the widest audience. Let
me know if you like what I'm doing or not -- feedback
helps me do this better!
Even issues will continue to be 1 (perhaps 2) long
stories.
Expect issues roughly weekly for a while; I've got a big
backlog!
A WORD ON SPAM
I finally realized that the sex spammers have no
incentive to ever stop. You might think that by posting
more and more ads, they will drive people away from
newsgroups, thus eliminating their audience. In fact,
they ARE driving people away from newsgroups ... right
to the "spam-free" web. There's method to their madness.
No searching! No decoding! Just give me your visa
account .... It's completely in their interest to make
the newsgroups unusable.
Me, I'll stay committed to alt.sex.stories.moderated for
a while yet. But I may be starting a web forum of my
own. Watch this space!
R.I.P. unmoderated alt.sex.* ... dead for some time.
It's beginning to stink. :-(
A WORD ON AOL
Well, after repeated deletions of my profile, now they
will not even allow me to save a profile that contains
the word "incest" although these digests are 100% legal
within the United States. I had delayed my search for a
new provider until I could obtain the lifetime e-mail
address (which is RankAmateur@writeme.com); I'll be
moving soon, now. I'm way too much of a net.veteran to
be using AOL anyway. Besides, most of the people
who responded needed to be told what the web or
newsgroups were ... and I don't have time to be an
internet tutor.
***
The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 23
Disclaimer: If you don't like any of this, skip it.
***
From: Garth
One of my first sexual experiences was with my cousins,
Vanessa and Kevin. I was about 16 at the time. Vanessa
was 15 and Kevin about 13. They had come down to us for
the holiday with the rest of the family, and the day
before they left Vanessa and I decided that we were
going to get drunk together.
So I went into town and got some liquors (I did not like
beer very much). We decided that we had to let Kevin on
it because he was sleeping in my room. Besides, Vanessa
was sleeping with my sister, and she was a real priss
back then.
After the adults had all one to sleep (my father and my
uncle were both pissed as coots, with my mother and aunt
not far behind) Vanessa came over to our room. We were
quite confident that we were not going to be caught, and
that we could make quite a bit of noise as well.
She got things going by teaching us a drinking game. It
was one of those ones where if you made a mistake, you
had to down-down, and since we both did not know the
game, she remained quite a bit more sober that we did.
We soon got tired of the game, and then one of us
suggested that we play strip poker. It was probably
Vanessa because I did not know how to play cards back
then. We could not find a pack of cards, so we settled
to playing poker dice with the set that my grandmother
had given me for Christmas.
Now, as with the drinking game, Vanessa had an unfair
advantage on us. See, Kevin and I were probably both
wearing about eight or nine items of clothing each
(including our watches). Compare this with the countless
articles of clothing and accessories that teenage girls
wear at that age! I'm talking necklaces, bangles,
earrings, stockings, a hair band, rings, etc... So you
can probably guess that one of us males got naked before
she.
As it were, Kevin was first. After getting him to expose
his raging not yet fully post-pubescent erection to us
for a few seconds, we allowed him to cover himself with
a pillow. But Kevin kept losing, so we had to make up
penalties for him.
I remember that one of them was to fuck one of my
centerfold pinups. He was very athletic and had one of
those bronzed bodies without any tan lines.
Eventually I was also down to nothing, and at that point
Kevin and I decided that we had had enough because
Vanessa still had all of her clothing on and would not
show us anything. So then she suggested that we play Man
Or Mouse. (In retrospect, she probably made this game
up.)
We switched the lights out, and I lay down naked on one
of the beds. She kneeled on the floor at the side of the
bed and put her hand on my legs. She would say "Man or
mouse?" Each time I would answer "Man", and she would
advance a few inches up my body.
Eventually she was only one move away from my erection,
and I was now so turned on that my cock was rock hard
(to borrow a cliché - but it was). I think that she
could have breathed on it and I would have come.
She asked the question and I answered "Man", and to my
disappointment she passed straight over my groin area
and onto my stomach. She was obviously shy, despite
initiating the game, so I made a bold move.
I found her hand in the darkness and put it onto my
cock, although she took it away almost immediately.
Then Kevin and I became tired of her teasing, and we
both jumped on her and started to strip her and feel her
all over, despite her half-hearted protests. We got her
top and bra off, but she kept her legs clamped shut.
It was truly one of those cases when the girl said no,
but meant yes, and we both knew it, because she was not
fighting hard enough, and her protests were not loud
enough to wake anyone up, which she easily could have
done.
The more we felt and sucked and touched and rubbed her
the more turned on she became. I even managed to get my
hand over her pussy for a while, although not for long.
It was the first time that I had sucked a girls breasts.
Before that I had only been able to feel them, and I
remember marveling that the sensation of sucking them
was similar to feeling them. It was that strange,
unimaginable sensation - soft yet firm.
There came a point where she was able to fight us off
and she made it out the door and back to my sister's
room. I guess she was not ready for it yet. That or we
were not pressing all the right buttons. Perhaps if her
brother was not there, she would have gone further with
me.
Perhaps it was because she and her brothers are adopted
that she even went that far. All I know was that after
she left, Kevin and I jerked each other off. That night
was the first time that I was able to come twice in a
row without losing my erection.
I am now 24, and my cousin now lives in the same city as
I. She is engaged, and even once in front of her fiancé
she laughingly hinted at that episode.
Whenever we met after that incident I tried to open the
subject again - perhaps to talk about it or even finish
it off, but we never connected on that level again. One
of those cases where we were young enough (and lucky
enough) for our separate interests not to have developed
and diverged yet.
I was also not the only one to commit the "I" deed with
her. After I told my little brother about it years later
(when he stopped being such a pest), he told me that
when he was about 10 or 11 Vanessa would let him tickle
her back, and that sometimes she would allow him to feel
her tits and her pussy.
We always had our suspicions about them, but I always
thought that he was too young! Imagine my surprise.
***
From: Trip
When I was 17, I came out of the shower and let my towel
fall exposing my erect penis to my 9 year old sister. I
went in to my room and started masturbating on the bed
and she followed me in and watched She asked what I was
doing and I told her I was washing it in a special way.
She wanted to be naked too and showed me her crack. I
licked her hairless puss and she gyrated it was so good.
I touched my penis head to her clit, but it didn't fit
in her hole, I made her suck it for a bit too.
After that, I spied on her changing and fooling around
with her female friends in her room and shower...I
enjoyed ejaculating in her and her hot friends panties.
My cousin came on to me when we were 13, she wanted me
to touch her tits, so I did right in front of her dad
who was sleeping on the couch next to us.
That was really all that happened until we were 18 and
we wrestled around, we both knew we wanted to fuck, but
her boyfriend came in on us. so I got her panties
instead. when she was 21 I saw her completely nude as I
was making out with her friend, she went to the bathroom
at 5 a.m. nude. What a hot body she has, she is tan all
over, even her ass.
***
From: Deb
I have this feeling about my mom and she also has the
same feeling back I don't know where to go from here.
***
[SPOILER: mildly negative, skip to end if you like]
From: Matt
I agree, there is a lot more incest going on then we
know. Here are two events that I learned about, both in
1979.
JACKIE
My old girlfriend Jackie had this experience. She only
talked about it once so some of the details are missing.
She was 10 ft up a ladder leaning on a 6 ft fence
trimming a tree. She fell and broke both wrists and
wrenched a kneecap. She was a single mother with a son
about ten years old at the time.
After an over-night stay in the hospital, she came home.
She could hop around on one leg and hold small objects
in her fingers but that was about all. The county home
health nurse showed up some but her son took care of
her. I came around when I wasn't traveling.
After a while, she wanted to take a bath so she had her
son tape plastic bags over both hands and over the leg
cast. She was able to soak in the tub like this.
Drying herself was harder, so she had her son dry her
with a towel, reaching under the short-sleeved robe.
Apparently this happened a couple of times without
incident.
She wanted to wash her hair so she filled the tub with
bubble bath. Now hidden, her son come in to shampoo her
hair. Something in the shampoo broke down the bubble
bath, leaving her exposed naked. She decided to have her
son finish washing her hair. He was embarrassed but did
it.
She went back to her old routine of soaking but later
her son offered to wash her hair again. I don't think
she bothered with bubble bath this time. After washing
her hair, she had him wash her back with a wash cloth.
She said it felt so good, that she had him wash all of
her. In the process he rubbed her pussy as well as
breasts. She said he was not aware of what he was doing.
When I visited her, her son had a very different
attitude toward me. Confused, I asked her what had
happened. She broke down in shame and embarrassment and
told me. I suspect he did more than just feel her. A few
weeks later she stopped dating me and I eventually moved
to a different state.
ALYNNE
Alynne was another girl I dated, only briefly. She
worked with her older sister at a business I called on.
We dated a little, dinner and a movie, no sex.
One evening at another couples house, we all drank too
much and spent the night there. With a little coaxing we
made love. It was quick and not very good.
In the morning, she was a different person, crying every
time I talked to her. I figured I was in for a charge of
date-rape as it's called now.
Surprisingly, she continued to go out with me but acted
strangely. I finally asked her sister if she was OK. Her
sister walked outside with me and said "I know what
happened. Sex has been forced on Alynne by every man she
knew growing up.
I know you didn't force her but she doesn't understand
the difference. I've adjusted but she can't handle it.
If you keep dating her, understand where she's coming
from." We stopped dating. I assumed it had happened to
her sister as well.
***
[SPOILER: mildly negative, skip to the end if you like]
From: Keith
Here's a story you may or may not be interested in since
it contains no actual incest but merely tries to define
why I'm so obsessed with it.
Up to the time I was twenty I never had a girlfriend so
I quite frequently bought pornography for the obvious
reasons. I found that I was buying "Penthouse" more for
the stories than for the "models" inside. One day I
stumbled across a story about two sisters who spend the
night in the same bed and become lovers.
This was fascinating and unreal, but of course at my age
I wanted to believe all those letters were for real. I
switched to reading those little digests with a few
incest stories until I found a place that sold "Family
Letters" (a gas station?!) and I was hooked.
I now have about four tons of these things as well as
other magazines and now I'm seeking it out on the net.
One of my girlfriends found out about my obsession and
she was cool with it at first and she played along and
called me "daddy" during sex but that became old for her
and that was probably one of the reasons that we broke
up along with fact that I told her that I shouldn't have
children.
I've gotten my current girlfriend to do the same act and
she enjoys it and probably harbors a fantasy or two
about her dad.
This maybe goes back to my childhood when I was about 11
or so my mother came into my room in her robe and pinned
me to the bed and began kissing me on the mouth. I
struggled because she was on top of me and at the time
was rather heavy.
As soon as I worked myself free she grabbed me back down
and slapped me in the face. My Mom had NEVER done that
before. She started apologizing and crying and saying
that it wouldn't happen again. I just sat there confused
until she left.
I'd still like to know for sure but in my mind that's
when it began. That and the idea that my family were
always fighting when it seemed that the families who
were having sex seemed to get along well together. I
know that this is distorted and a lot of people have
negative experiences but I'd like to believe some enjoy
it.
I often wonder what would have happened if I had gone
farther with my mother that day. I have no bad feelings
toward her she is still a great mother, but we've never
mentioned what happened that day.
Well there it is, it may be too long for your digest but
I enjoyed telling you anyway.
***
A WORD FROM RANK
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact
with a family member, and what impact that had on your
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:
...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)
...at what age
...who initiated the activity, and
...how you feel about it now
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story
will only be used to continue these postings. If you
would like to share your story, please send mail to
RankAmateur@writeme.com.
WHERE TO FIND THIS DIGEST
New issues are posted to alt.sex.stories.moderated and
related newsgroups on an irregular schedule.
Past issues are available on the web at the
alt.sex.stories.moderated archive
site.
WHERE TO FIND RANK
I'm officially quitting AOL. [and there was much
rejoicing] The address WILL NOT WORK
effective Real Soon Now. Send all correspondence to my
lifetime email address, .
QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Did two members of the same family ever compete for your
interest? Was it successful? Maybe you and a relative of
your own competed for someone else.
REVIEWING CELESTE
Well, it eventually did happen: Celeste reviewed the
digest! Sadly, she found little of note in Issue 22,
since the Neville story was not up to her standards of
grammar, plot, or character. (2's all around.) I will
defend the eroticism of the central moment in Issue 22
where Neville's mother seduces him.
Anyway, Celeste, thanks for finally taking notice; I
appreciate your awareness that I take a few more minutes
with my words than some of my contributors; and I invite
you to review the stories of Jeannie and her brother
(Issues 14, 15, and 18).
Personally I think she's a halfway decent erotic writer,
and the best I've had the privilege to publish. I am
also very certain that she told the truth; and I would
rather publish true stories than well-written ones.
As I've said before, I do minimal editing, correcting
only the worst errors of spelling and grammar. I'm not
an editor, and compilation is quite enough work as it
is, thank you! Besides, neologisms such as "clitoris"
lightly amuse me.
Much of the stories sent to me are hastily written
personal accounts by authors who don't normally do a lot
of writing, erotic or otherwise. Possibly for reasons of
haste (either for privacy, or due to personal
discomfort) many submissions are written in a
telegraphic stream-of-consciousness style.
Others resemble police or psychological interviews. I
feel I do a service for those with an incest fetish, and
I quite happily leave the task of elevating the level of
erotic fiction on the 'net to Celeste and the stellar
list of authors she regularly reviews.
I wish to emphasize: what I publish are REAL
SUBMISSIONS, though of course I have no way of verifying
that they are all real experiences. I suspect, as did
Nancy Friday, that some are highly embellished versions
of more subtle events. But I reject very few submissions
outright.
Finally, I don't gripe about AOL censoring my digest,
just my AOL profile. It's not some kind of preachy rant
-- just one more annoyance that's making me quit this
place, flat rates be damned.
Love, Rank
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 67