("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._ `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`) (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,' (((' (((-((('' (((( K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N _________________________________________ WARNING! This text file contains sexually explicit material. If you do not wish to read this type of literature, or you are under age, PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!! _________________________________________ Scroll down to view text Archive name: bernie.txt (M-gay/m-straight) Authors name: Lean Mac (leanmac@Hotmail.com) Story title : Where Are You Now, Bernie, You SOB. -------------------------------------------------------- This work is copyrighted to the author © 2002. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. -------------------------------------------------------- Where Are You Now, Bernie, You SOB. (M-gay/m-straight) By LeanMac@Hotmail.com *** This story is true, every last word of it. And it has been leaving me with the question, "why?" for many years. Let me tell you what I am. I'm a straight white male Scorpio, twice divorced, father of three, addicted to women, and now single with a lovely girlfriend close to my age. I've never cheated on my women. I'm not as great in bed as I once was, but I look good for my age, and women 30 years younger still ask me to call them. My sexual addiction for women has gone unchanged--or maybe even increased substantially--over the years. I love sexy young women. I download pictures of them whenever I can. I have special ones like Liz Hurley, Elle McPherson, Jane Seymour, maybe one I spotted on the street. I fantasize only about women, and they give me pleasure. I'm not sexually attracted to men. But once when I was very young and inexperienced, a sexual predator took advantage of me, and to this very day, I ask myself: "Why did I let it happen?" First, let me explain, readers (and I'm assuming most of you are far younger than I), that when I was 21, most young women, and most young men, were virgins until they got married! Oh, there were always "studs" and what we used to call "easy women," but the large majority of young women and men saved themselves for their honeymoons! And so, (there were no drugs readily available) young men got drunk, and lied to their buddies about last night's date! (Women probably did the same!) Mostly, though, young guys like myself came home from a date very frustrated and very hard. Thank goodness for masturbation! When I was around twenty, I started working for a big company. One of the guys in my department was a damned good creative writer after working hours, having sold several stories and books. When I told him I liked to write short stories, he expressed a keen interest in seeing them. The guys in my department all respected Bernie as a co-worker. He was (apparently) happily married (I met his wife; she was attractive!), had children, and was in his mid- forties. He was rarely without a cigarette, like many people in those days. An average looking guy, what little hair he had was closely cropped to his head, and he had thick glasses and an ever-present "five o'clock shadow." He spoke gently, but was solidly built. In those days, very few people said, "Hey, I'm gay and damned proud of it!" Bernie, though, exhibited characteristics of a gay man... in his walk, his talk, his mannerisms. The guys in my department were all older than I, good natured, and worldly. They never said cruel things to or about Bernie, and I think he enjoyed their light teasing! Maureen Antonio was my first love! She worked in another department, and was a perfect mix of Irish and Italian, with piercing blue eyes and a natural tan, Tall, slender, dark haired and mysterious, she looked very much like the sultry and beautiful Ava Garner, still one of my all-time favorites! Maureen was a "poor man's Ava Gardner." The problem with Maureen (or was it me?) was that she was a very experienced young woman, to say the least. I went "steady" with her for four months, and we kissed and hugged and pawed very passionately. I was always ashamed and embarrassed at the massively aroused penis that always pushed at her belly, but I never opened my pants. I know now that her little rule was that the man had to make the first move. Times have changed! At one time during our relationship, her grandmother, whom Maureen idolized, died unexpectedly. I attended the funeral with Maureen's family and parents. Only one person was missing from the funeral... and missing for about three days: Maureen. When she finally showed up, told me that her old boyfriend "Pete" had flown in unexpectedly from California, and had called her. "He's not much to look at," Maureen admitted, "You're much better looking! But whenever he's here, I have to be with him!" And when we split up, she told me: "Someday I'll marry you, but only after you've had experience." Hey, guys and girls, times were different then! And to make matters even worse, I was a catholic (still am). I really don't think I was afraid of "hurting God," but rather of being doomed to hell. Young people didn't make much money in those days, and I lived in the tiny one-room loft of a house owned by an older couple. No townhouses, no condos, no high-rise apartments then, mostly just boarding houses and private residences. One day, Bernie came over unexpectedly to look at some of my short stories. I didn't have much furniture, so we both sat on my bed. Bernie sat awfully damned close. But, being extremely naive, I didn't get the message. My parents lived a couple of hours away, and I used to go home on weekends. But this was a bad weekend. Maureen had dumped me. Bernie approached me before the day's end, and asked if I could drop him off in New York City, on my way to my parents' house. His car had broken down, so he said. I agreed. He knew I liked swimming, and somehow he talked me into checking out a mens' "bath house" in Greenwich Village with him. It had an indoor pool. We both signed in at the front desk, and I used my real name. I don't know if Bernie did. I had no bathing suit with me, nor did anyone else. Everyone in the pool was naked! As we sat on the side of the pool, Bernie studied my body. I asked him if I had a decent one. That was a stupid question, but I was always self-conscious, and uncertain because Maureen had ended our relationship. I have always worked out, but I thought I was too tall and slender then. Bernie said I had a fine body. We left the pool area and passed through a huge, very dark room where dozens of young men were moaning and writhing on the floor with each other. I heard one young man ask another what was wrong. "I'm just not feeling well tonight," was the reply. I could barely see them, but we walked gingerly to avoid stepping on them. Some hands grabbed at my legs! I didn't realize they were screwing each other! Bernie led me to a small room that had a bed, and said, "You're very tense! Let's relax a while!" By now, I was starting to feel uneasy. "Bernie," I said, "It's getting late and I have to get home! My parents are expecting me!" "Just relax for a while," he said soothingly. Our clothes were in a locker somewhere else, so I sat down on the bed, covering my private parts with a flimsy towel. Bernie sat next to me, and questioned me about Maureen. He knew Maureen. Everyone knew Maureen. All the guys in my department kidded me about her being a whore. I told him she had dumped me, and I started crying! My emotions wanted to explode! Bernie told me to just lay back and relax, and gently pushed me backwards on the bed. I will never forget the foul smell of his cigarette breath as he put his face near mine. No, he didn't try to kiss me, but he removed the towel that covered me and began stroking my cock! "No, Bernie!" I said, but he continued until it was hugely erect. With a sharp motion, his deft fingers pulled down my uncircumcised foreskin, and then eh tightened them around my penis. "No! No! Bernie! Please!" I cried, but then I began moaning and my breath became shallow and I stopped trying to fight him off. In a few moments, my sperm was exploding into his hand and on the bed sheet. I was very quiet after that, and he didn't make any further attempts that night. I dropped him off wherever he was going, and headed home. On Saturday, I went to confession. Sure enough, on Tuesday evening, Bernie showed up unexpectedly at my door. I have always wondered what the old couple downstairs thought of me! He tried to enter, but I gently pushed him outside, and that was the end of it. But not of my thoughts! Every now and then, I ask myself "Why?" Since then, I've managed to enjoy a bunch of relationships with women (only), took the vows twice (was never unfaithful), and have continued to enjoy my sexual fantasies involving beautiful women! But I can never forget what happened that night. No, I'm not yearning for a repeat. I Just keep asking myself why? Why didn't I stop him? Did I enjoy what happened? Was it a consensual act by both of us? Or did he simply take advantage of my innocence? I don't know you, reader, and you don't know me. What's your opinion? Was it a form of rape? Or did I appear to encourage him? Every word of this story is true. And it has taken me many years to tell it. Write to me at LeanMac34@Hotmail.com. The End ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of the hands of children. They should be outside playing in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Kristen's collection - Directory 17